Hello, I thought for a long time about writing this post because in the end I wonder if it's silly or if anyone will read it. A year ago I was cycling to my placement as a student nurse and a car hit me. I dont remember it or anything for a couple of weeks. I got plenty of fractures to go with the brain injury but I made a good recovery. After a long hospital stay and months of rehabilitation, I learned how to function again but have many lasting problems including problems with my memory. I have recently returned to studying as a nurse and I hope to qualify in a couple of months. I had various assessments to prove it was safe for me to care for others and I must say I am confident I do a good job. I wondered though, if anyone could share their experiences with me as I know many people never return to work after a TBI and I have returned to work where even those without the moderate brain injury I sustained struggle to keep pace. My passion to be a nurse really helped push me through my rehab because I couldn't imagine doing anything else but with the greatest will in the world my brain is this way now. I'm well aware of neuroplasticity and I have developed new ways of getting where I need to be. I hope someone can share their experiences with me, I feel like I'm constantly battling the shame of forgetting things, needing alone time, fighting fatigue or being unable to organise things like I used to.
Thanks for reading,
Eve
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IndigoSunflower
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I also have a TBI , I fell down the stairs and my head had a slight disagreement with the radiator at the bottom ,
Please don't feel shame for the symptoms you are experiencing now, you have done incredibly well to be able to do what you are doing now, a year is such a short time in the world of brain injury, my accident was in 2016 and being able to return to work is still my main goal but it seems to get further away from me as time goes on.
Memory, fatigue, planning, decision making, the list goes on , there are people on this forum with far more experience than me who i am sure will give you some great advice, it took me 2 years to finally be able to accept the fact I have a brain injury and need to work with it rather than against it every day, fatigue is with me all the time and cognitive impairment is a real pain but I now laugh more than I have ever done.
Thank you for sharing with me! I think in the world of brain injury, I got off very lightly indeed but I tell myself that doesn't mean I don't struggle! Its awful how something so simple as a fall down the stairs can have this impact but I'm so glad you smile and laugh more. I too, have a very different outlook on life with a more care free approach. If you don't mind me asking, how do you cope with other peoples feelings about your memory problems? For example, i started seeing someone 2 days before the accident and he didn't really know me before the brain injury, he's started to seem frustrated because I ask things over and over but I don't even remember that I've asked. He's got a scar on his knee from a bread factory, i only remember this now after asking 6 times he tells me. How do you manage it?
With regards to work I hope management are being supportive and you have had referrsl to OH, so with difficulties experiencing management have recommendations to support you more. You dont want to burn out especially in a demanding job, your general wellbeing is very important to stay on tract with your fab recovery.
Thank you so much! I had OH input to return to work on a phased return basis and gradually increased my hours. All the management and staff are understanding and very kind (it helps I work with a kind profession lol) and my university have been very supportive when I need extra time for assignments. A degree which shouldve taken me 3 years is now taking me somewhere near 4 and a half but I'll get there eventually! Thank you for replying to me
Coping with other people's feelings about my memory problems is not a big issue for me . I live on my own and don't have any family left so I guess that's probably why. Some of my friends disappeared over time because I had changed so much from the person I was before and they couldn't understand that.
But 2 of my friends have stuck with me and read and learnt so much about long term effects of brain injury and understand how I am now. If you can try writing things down and read it over and over again.
And get information booklets from headway about your issues and give them to family and friends to read if you can. I find getting people to understand about brain injury is really frustrating at times, don't let it get you down, I always think that I was exactly the same as them before my brain injury happened.
That's awful that youre friends didn't have the courage to step up and stand by you. Im glad you've found who your true friends are. You're so right about people not understanding the effects of brain injuries, people aren't very aware of it really, I know I wasn't at all!
Yes, a TBI for myself too. Fell down a stairwell on a German building site in 1994 and landed on my skull. Woke up a month later after a coma and woke with the memory issues you describe and many other associated problems, including epilepsy.
A few years ago I started making short films about my experiences living with TBI, you can find them on Facebook on my page 'Notes From The Brain Damaged Baron' or on Youtube as 'Brain Damaged Baron'. If you don't want to watch, then this page is the right place to be. We all know and understand what you are going through, all you need to do is ask...
Thank you for sharing your story and for directing me to your videos, I'll have a look on YouTube! Thank you also for offering your support, I'm brand new to reaching out to others in a similar situation.
Your post isn’t at all silly, far from it. It will resonate with many of us here, so don’t worry about that. I really feel for you but it sounds like you have worked really hard on your recovery and rehabilitation.
I find you pretty inspiring to be honest. I am really pleased to hear that you are going to qualify soon. I am at the start of my university journey. My accident happened six years ago. I had a fall whilst sleepwalking and sustained a basal skull fracture, broken neck, multiple brain haemorrhages and a large contrecoup injury to my frontal & temporal lobes.
I had to relearn everything again. It was like being a baby at 30 something years old. I had no awareness/capacity. After two years of very intense rehabilitation I finally got to a place where I could think about applying to university to study Physiotherapy (a lifetime goal of mine). I had been working as a Physio tech/Rehab assistant for years prior to my accident and wanted to pick up where I left off.
And to cut a long story short.. (sorry for the waffle). I have just completed my foundation year, achieving distinctions in all but one module which was a presentation.. my nemesis due to short term memory problems and slight aphasia (and a rather strict examiner).
I am anxious to start my actual degree, not due to doubt in my ability but more because Physiotherapy has something of an ableist reputation. You don’t really see any Physio’s with a physical disability and I walk with a single walking aid because I have cerebellar dysfunction, so I feel my disability is “out there” for all to see and it leaves me feeling quite vulnerable.
Please don’t feel ashamed. None of this was your fault and you are actually doing extremely well. You’ve probably heard this a million times before but you are still very “early” in your recovery, it is ongoing. I’m still improving six years on, albeit a bit slower these days! You will be still processing what has happened to you and finding what works best with your “new” brain. Don’t be afraid to speak up to future employers. Tell them what you struggle with or advise them of things that help.
Fatigue is a tough one to mange, especially if you are going to be working nights/12 hour shifts. Is there room for “reasonable adjustments”? seen as you weren’t far from qualifying at the time of your accident. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone at times. I still have to shut the world out occasionally due to sensory overload (at times the world still seems too bright, too fast, too loud etc). Routines, planning, alarms and lists help with my memory. Again there’s no shame in using tools to help and it unburdens your brain a little, freeing it up for other tasks.
I wish you every success and please keep in touch, I’d love to know your progress!
Thank you very much I was touched by your support! From my experience, you don't typically see physios with physical impairment but I believe the NHS strives to provide fair chance and if it doesn't effect your ability then I would see it as welcoming someone to a team with a different perspective and that can only be a good thing. Your sense of compassion and empthaty will be much stronger than someone who's never struggled with their health.
I'm terms of my reasonable adjustments because I'm a student I'm more free to be able to take advantage of picking my own shifts within reason but that'll change once I qualify I imagine.
I very much understand what you mean when you say sensory overload, I can't cope when the tv is on and the washing machine and my daughters playing it's too much and I know I need to take myself off for quiet time. My neuropsychologist introduced me to meditation which I do daily now and it feels like a lovely mental reset although sometimes when I get over stimulated the only thing that saves me is a long sleep.
Its so unfair what happened to you, do you still sleepwalk?
You sound like you have made, and are continuing to make an excellent recovery.
I had. My TtBI 14 years ago when I was 21
I never made a full recovery but I know I am lucky to be alive and not have more disabilities to contend with;
I was 21 when I had a brain haemorrhage. Which paralysed the whole of the left side of my body I had to learn how to walk again talk and it also left me with epilepsy and vision problems, I can walk iun aided Put I’m very self conscious about how I walk because sometimes I get the odd stare!
In regards to work I find things difficult because of my eyesight more than anything else as it takes a long to do things that I have to doublecheck everything I am not currently working because I’ve just had my second baby i never regained an functional use of my left arm so running around after a 3 and 1 year old is very challenging especially with the added fatigue and nappies!!! and with little help because my other half works long hours and our families don’t offer any help (perhaps they think I don’t need it because I don’t work)
I may go back to work when both children are in school!
I think it is wonderful that you have nearly completed your degree and that you will be an inspiration to your patients, especially if you end up working on a stroke or rehabilitation ward
Thank you for sharing with me! I can imagine it's incredibly tough with little ones, my daughter is 5 so she's a bit more aware. You sound as though you don't let your brain injury stand in the way of anything you want to do and that's inspirational! I'm quite blown away by the response to this thread, youre so strong because raising kids isn't easy and you have a whole other level to contend with. I have thought about a career in neuro or stroke but in my heart I know I'm supposed to be working with cardiac patients. Thank you for replying to me.
I think you're doing amazingly. I find it difficult to learn anything now which is frustrating and upsetting though I keep trying. But I do have a (not very good) job .
I think any job is an achievement when faced with such massive difficulties, you should be very proud. Someone told me that learning an instrument or language really helps your ability to create new neural pathways so you can learn other things because its very repetitive in nature when you start learning an instrument. I havent tried it but I'm keen to, maybe it's something that would help you tackle learning new things on the future? I've no idea but I'm going to buy a keyboard soon to see if it helps with other types of learning.
Eve... just a note of admiration. There's little I can add to the comments of others but I wanted to applaud you for your determination in reaching your (worthy) goal despite the challenges of brain injury.
I hope, with further time and practice, you'll manage to bring down your fatigue and memory issues to a more tolerable level.
Thank you so much Cat! It took me a long time to realise just how lucky I was, I always knew I was very lucky not to die but it took me a while to learn that everyone with a brain injury heals at different paces and to different degrees and even though I was determined, if the brain injury had been different in anyway I might not have been where I am now. There was a reason I didn't die and I have to believe it's to help others as a nurse. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me, it means a lot to me.
I have a TBI also. I fell down and hit the side of my head and then fell and hit the back of my head. This destroyed my frontal lobe plus two skull fractures. I had a long hospital stay (where I then experienced Guillain-Barre syndrome - yes, I'm an overachiever). The TBI led to a seizure two years later (much to my suprise but not to a Doctor's suprise). I haven't gone back to work since the TBI. Keep on your path to success! There are ways to work around forgetfulness and needing better organization skills.
I was genuinely gutted to read what happened to you. It sounds like it was one thing after another. Are you on seizure medication? I had seizures at the time but only a few and they haven't happened since the first week. I really wish I knew what part of my brain was injured but I just don't remember if they ever said. I had two subarachnoid haemorrhages and a subdural haematoma but I dont know where. They showed me the scan images before I was discharged and I remember being pleased that the small white patches where the bleeds were seemed quite small compared to what I expected. I knew that the seizures could possibly continue but I thought I was all clear since I hadn't continued to have them, i didnt realise a long time could pass before getting another.
Yes VIMPAT which works for me - no seizures since. Later I asked the psycological-neurologist if she could see any evidence of my TBI on my MRI. She said "Yes" and showed me where the frontal lobe was dark/blank. I went in for an EEG after seizures whichshowedbrain electrical actions which was used for seizure investigation.
I’m a nurse. I had traumatic brain injury and was off for a year and then back to work. It took a year to get back into ‘regular work’It’s not the same . Not easy and may change.
I’m sorry to hear about what happened with you. It’s great that you will now be a nurse.
Hi, I'm glad to hear you were able to return. Well, at the minute I'm working on a busy cardiac/resp admissions ward and patients only stay a few hours. There's a serious lack of ipads to access nerve Centre to see the patients information so I feel the pressure of having to retain the information which is just not easy. We don't do paper handovers anymore.
There's a nurse who works with me who had encephalitis 6 years ago and still struggles daily. I'm also hindered by the fact I lost so much muscle mass during my hospital stay and I fractured my pelvis so I'm not as brilliant on my feet for long periods of time.
I suppose in the back of my mind I worry about if I'm good enough now its a hard job even without other troubles. But, on the other side I can empathise with my patients more, I understand that when someone asks for pain meds they need them now, it's so frustrating when you ask the dr to prescribe them and 30 minutes later they still aren't.
I had a SAH many years ago now...it took me about 18 months to be really aware of what was going on around me safely. I worked with horses and people so needed to be very present and able to react as needed. I was also a therapist, a supervisor and managed a rehab unit.
My main problems included retaining new information, minor balance issues, memory problems and fatigue. I decided I needed to really take a look at my life and restructure it so it could work for me. I felt as I was always playing catch up and it was exhausting. I let go of the management position, I limited the number of clients I saw and worked with a trusted partner in the work with horses.
It was difficult to ‘let go’ but I did it and am now so glad I did. During the transition I decided to train as a life coach - another positive and challenging move for me and I really enjoy coaching.
The process of change wasn’t easy, I had to really work on life balance and self care. Failing miserably at times! Then I would be forced to take a break until I found just how much I could realistically take on.
I wish you well in whatever you eventually decide to do - my experience would encourage you to take self care really seriously. I know I am very fortunate to found a way to work with my deficits that brings me joy and hopefully you will to.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. I really feel like every response has taught me something. What you say resonates with me deeply. I was this person, near the end of my training, I'd put in so much time and effort, literally blood sweat and tears into it and I totally took for granted how easy I found it. It wasn't easy, it was hard but in comparison to now, it was easy if you get me. Then it all happened and from very early on I just said 'I can't change what's happened but all I can do is work hard to get to where I was going'. Someone said to me that I'll probably never be the same Eve but I can be a different Eve and that's OK. I think I'm still on the same journey as the old me, im just taking a different route. Thank you for the advice about self care. Self care to me means an hour day time nap, meditation and not beating myself up when I cant do something or forget something. What types of self care do you do? From your post I can see you'd make an excellent life coach. I've found so many people on here inspirational.
Good morning. Thank you for your lovely words, your sharing and for being inspirational too! I find this space, and those within it, inspirational in so many ways and not just about the ‘doing’.
As for my self care I too take naps when I need to, do meditation, give myself an hour to read just for pleasure, walking - I love walking, looking after my nutrition, I have really improved as a cook, a 10minute or so exercise - stretch session - helps my balance, & no more punishing schedules. I have accepted that I have changed, I’m not the person I once was, have had to let go of some things and I overall I like the new me - I’m kinder both to myself and others. That didn’t happen overnight, I fought, raged etc but it just exhausted me and that’s when I recalibrated - haha. I have enjoyed my journey even more so now and hope you will too.
Eve, what can I say, I am 53 years old now and I received my brain injury in 1986 when I was 19 years old, Since then I have had not only had one but two professional careers and have completed two undergraduate degrees and completed a Masters degree course. I am saying this to try and inspire you because it has not been easy for me ever and my second career change only happening due to a life changing experience when a combination of high stress levels and existing frontal lobe damage lead to the onset of complex partial seizures at age 36, fortunately which have been controlled for many years now. Both of my careers ,like you were in health. I was an environmental health officer and I am now a registered health professional. Untreated PTSD as a result of the accident that caused my brain injury plus subsequent trauma has not left me with very good mental health and wellbeing over the years, I also have memory, organization and now more recently, following hormonal changes during the menopause and getting older greater communication difficulties. It has been an uphill struggle and things have not been easy. I have had good support from colleagues over the years and mixed experience with managers. The fact I have a high IQ strangely seems to work in my disfavor because, manager's will to often tell me that I am too intelligent to have a memory impairment/ communication difficulties, or question the fact I actually do have a good long term episodic memory, and state this rather than not listening to the fact I have a very bad working memory, Making me appear 'scatterbrained', disorganized and absent -minded. I have to bluff my way through not recognizing names and / or faces too well at times and have learned quite well the art of circumventing and picking up clues to recognize someone I should recognize. 'Casually' asking questions to give myself clues as to whom I am talking to, Changes in hair style or color throws me completely. Practicing mindfulness and doing everything in a deliberate way helps. Repetition helps too over in my mind . Speaking outload helps but don't get in a habit of doing it on your own and then fall into doing it when there is others around or you will come over a little strange. Be honest about your difficulties with colleagues and ask for help and explain any difficulty. Tell managers as much as you feel comfortable with sharing , is my advice. Some will help others will try and undermine you. It depends what they are like as managers. So take an individual approach but always disclose some disability from the offset ad don't suddenly start referring to it when something goes wrong.. Be as honest as you can be and just keep going. It is always going to be harder but keep believing in yourself. Be a bit tough and grow a thicker skin. Other people may be critical but they do not have your difficulties. Always bear that in mind. Keep strong and retain a good support network too with people you can trust
I received my TBI in 2005, when I fell off my bike. I spent a couple of weeks in a coma, eight months in hospital (most of it in a rehab. hospital), and eighteen months of work sick.
I was a university lecturer, which I did go back to, until my department closed a few years ago, and I was made redundant. It took me a while, but I did find another job, although it is very different. Realistically, no other university would have taken me on, even though I had been perfectly capable of the job, so I moved - I am now a 'Teaching and Learning Administrator', in a different university.
My memory is missing a couple of years, including eighteen months before the accident (which included moving house so we had room for a second child, and that second pregnancy and the birth and early years of our second daughter - I used to ask my husband why he had brought this strange baby into hospital, along with our toddler! I knew the toddler was ours, but I knew nothing about the baby - she had been 8 months old when I got the TBI).
Recovery is hard, and takes time, but don't give up. I have gotten very tight about recording what I have to do each day - I am often ashamed that I need it, but dammit, I am proud of how well I can cope, so you should be, too.
Good morning; please give yourself time - amazing that you have so successfully returned to work after such a short time - it is a short time regarding recovery from a brain injuring accident. Fortunately - a strange word for those of us with brain injury I know - but fortunately you are very aware of the consequences; that shows you will, given time, construct suitable behaviour patterns to effectively recover even more. A pat on the back; some downtime to relax is what you thoroughly deserve from yourself .
I have had similar experiences I had an ABI during my nurse training and managed to return to university& qualified as a registered nurse things are different post brain injury I have to write EVERY single thing down & make everyone aware of this I say if it’s not written down it won’t get done, make sure your employers know about your condition so you can get as much support as possible, I wish you the best of luck with your nursing career and well done again
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