Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor

[United99]

Hi I’m new to the group so thought I’d introduce myself, I had an RTI in 2014 and was in a coma for several weeks, my Wife was told I’d remain vegetive and had high chance of not making it through, went on through rehabilitation and was in hospital for nearly a year and have managed I suppose to get to the best I could expect but I still struggle with mobility cognitive and behavioural problems and a lot of these issues get worse with fatigue. I have a supportive Wife and three children but I sometimes feel very alone as if the lights are on but no ones home. I’ve joined this group as I’m hopeful talking to others who are living with the same conditions might help

[steve55]

welcome. i have an abi. first things first, i think besides this group, youd also benefit from finding out where your local monthly headway group i and going along to that, your wife would benefit from it too.

youll meet people who are further down the line on their new journey and your good lady wife will meet the darlings who have to put up with us when we re not having a good day, bless them.

[United99 in reply to steve55]

Hi steve55 Thankyou for the reply I have recently started attending my meeting and my wife has recently returned to work so I attend with Neuropychology assistenat and am finding the benefits - this is where I found out about this forum

[United99]

Hi Mark Thankyou for the reply and I will message helps to talk

[Danslatete]

Hello there👋🏻👋🏻

I had a car accident in 2004. I got me a brain injury.

I have 3 children who were 2,5and7 when I had my accident.

Life has had many ups and downs, so has my mood!

My children now are 23yr old daughter who was a young carer, she has just finished her degree in forensic psychobiology and has moved in with her partner.

My eldest son Nathan, he is doing a BA Hons in music performance at uni. I never thought he would leave home due to disability, but he did. He says that I gave him the got to have a go attitude.

My youngest is 17 and has finished his first year at agricultural college. He finished Tuesday and has spent the week looking for work! He says he can't stay at home if I can get work so can he.

So if nothing else, after all the let downs, mega arguments and crazy stuff I've done, I've managed to produce some capable adults!!

I'm so very proud of my kids. I havnt made life easy for any of them, especially my daughter. She took on so much and I can never repay her for her care and compassion. She has 2 jobs supporting children with disabilities. She is obviously very nurturing although she says she just likes being a big kid!

My partner is hanging on by his finger nails, I exasperate him and annoy him and frustrate him and I yell at him.

I love him too but sometimes he just gets both barrels from a crazy wound up wild woman. He likes fishing!

He also has birds of prey and a menagerie of animals to keep him busy when he's home from work.

If it wasn't for him having his own interests and getting down time from me I really don't think he'd have still been with me. Hd found it very difficult at first to just go off for a day and refuse to take my calls. These days he offered to take me if the mood is right. 😀

As you can see, after the storm of a head injury, there can be a calm. There is a future, it's just not what you thought it might be.

[United99]

My kids, all 3 of them. my youngest at 9, with his slightly older Sister who is 11, my real personal difficulty is my eldest son at 15-nearly 16. If I’m honest, my oldest son has struggled. Prior to my TBI I used to manage his U9-U13’s when I used to manage his team. Because of this past relationship he had a decent amount of respect for me! Since I was discharged from Hospital I’ve had to listen to him give my Wife & 2 younger children a lot of aggression

I find this incredibly difficult as I have maximum love & respect for my Wife who’s also his Mum, I was discharged from Hospital 30 Jun 2015, since then Rhys has been removed from 2 schools, My younger children have been nothing short of superb, which is full credit, to my Wife, they’re Mum, I feel terrible because of my distant relationship with eldest Son. Which I feel honestly terrible as he currently lives with my parents as it all became to much, he seems to despise me and seems so angry with me that I have a brain injury and I want to be close to him again but he seems very oppose to the idea

[United99]

To also add it sounds like you have raised brilliant kids to be proud of, my daughter is also very nurturing and compassionate and sounds similar to your own

[Mufc]

Hi I had my accident 24 years ago spent a bout 3 years in a rehab hospital. Have many problems still with mobility, memory and mood. I had an 18 month daughter and my husband. My husband and daughter are ok.

Well I say my husband he is in the process of divorcing me as he can now longer cope with my moods. I enjoy this site it has help me a lot. I am going to need it more so now as he has been my main carer for many years. I had 24 hour care when I first got home. I am determined not to go to that again. I obviously will need some help not sure how much yet. Sorry to moan

Best wishes

Mufc

[Mufc]

How are you coping?? Hope things are as well as they can be and as well as you want. It can never be what we want it can be what is acceptable to us now.

Best

Mufc

[United99]

My situation is fairly similar, in 2014 I was on the way home from employment at Wakefield Train Station. I was also a Semi-Pro footballer, undoubtedly I was doing too much in retrospect. When I look at the situation overall, this undoubtedly is my own second chance at life. From the RTI I was rescued by Lincs/Notts Ambucopter. Currently surrounding social worker visits I’m learning to walk unaided again, there is no shortcut in recovery, so you have to learn to be patient, which is not a quality I possess whilst you are laying low to recover sufficiently evaluate what is important in your life & live on for that. I’m rightfully great full for this second opportunity. To remain appreciative for this second opportunity I have to ensure I learn from my own mistakes & ensure the similar misfortunes don’t happen again when they’re in my control