At the end of my tether

[Pixieloo]

So after 22yrs together the last 3 living with my hubby's TBI I'm finally at the end of my rope with him...I seriously need some time away from him. This isn't possibly financially and I don't think he'd cope. I literally have to remind him he's working and to get dressed etc....He's devoid of warmth and compassion and is like a bull in a China shop. Life is joyless 😒

[paxo05]

Hi, I would like to say I've been there. But only from the other side.

Looking back I was a pain to live with. Loosing my temper over silly daft things. Not showing any affection and being a general prat.

Then my wife left me...OK it was me that actually left...but basically we split and my life fell apart.

It made me think what I did and didn't want.

We then began to start a new relationship together after 9 months apart. It wasn't easy but we have been back together over 10 years.

Hope you can work it out .

Pax

[headwayuk Partner Headway]

Hi Pixieloo,

Please don't hesitate to contact our helpline if you'd like to talk things through - you can get in touch on 0808 800 2244 or [e-mail]

You might like to read through the relationships information on our website too, here: headway.org.uk/about-brain-...

Best wishes,

Andrew

[Chat2U]

Do you have any family you could visit and any other family that could visit him?

As for him coping alone, maybe give us all a list of the things you expect him to struggle with and we can all come up with strategies for him to manage alone whilst you take a break?

[Nanapal]

Hi Pixieloo, I can only imagine the strain you are under. I do hope you can find some time to yourself - we all need it. Thinking of you. Nanapal x

[Pairofboots]

Hi Pixie, I'm not one to give marriage advice, I've not had great success myself. But 22 years, wow.

Relationships change with or without the involvement of a brain injury. There is no set trajectory of any relationship. Relationships take work on both parties, most of the time in a good relationship we wouldn't necessarily notice. Everyone says yes, they have ups and downs, in sickness and in health etc. And this is true.

Sometimes, through circumstances beyond our control, things change. Your relationship falls into this. No one expects to become a carer of a partner, at least not for what feels like a never ending period, of a person that you didn't marry in the first place. This is probably where you are at the moment. While you are in the thick of it, you can't take stock, and gather your thoughts.

As you say you need some time out, some respite to, time to breathe. Andrew has suggested Headway, please get in touch with them. They maybe able to assist you in gaining the space you need, or at least an independent ear.

The ultimate outcome, no one can predict, but you need to look after yourself at this point.

I wish you well 🍀

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear of what you are going through Pixieloo, that must be so difficult. Do contact Headway as suggested by Andrew. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself, we all need some TLC 👍