Headway
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Light at the end of the tunnel

About me .. I had a sah in 2007 and was in the Walton for a few months after , I was unable to walk or talk and didn’t know anyone was .. fast forward 11 years and I’m a single mum running my own successful business

I want to help people on hear and let them know there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I truly believe that you can’t fully understand a brain injury or haemorrhage unless you have been through it :)

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This is certainly a story that is welcomed to bring some positivity and hope for anyone who is struggling with the long journey of life after a pesky SAH.

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Wow what a positive post, just when I have been feeling that my future has changed for ever . I need to move my chin up off the floor and start to embrace the new me with a brain injury .

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Acceptance is key to moving on , yes you’ve been through hell and I bet people saying oooh you’re doing so well drives you mental .. it does me , but try saying to your self “ hey look what you’ve been through and your still here , maybe a different version of you but you’re smashing every single day “ some people have a little cold and there world is over .. we are lucky in a sense as we get to realise our own mortality and not many people get that chance x

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That's very good news! Thank you for posting! What type of business do you run and what strategies do you use to work around the fatigue/brain fog days?

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I run a recruitment agency , the best trick I’ve learnt is to listen to my body and to accept that I’m different from how I used to be, brain fog and fatigue don’t hit me as bad as they used to , but when they do I rest I know that my brain is trying to catch up if that makes sense .. I have learnt to become very selfish in that way where I just say no to everything and put my self first , I shut the door and rest or meditate

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Thank you. Have you always worked for yourself? In what ways have you found it to be easier/harder than working for another company in terms of brain issues? (Hope you don't mind the questions - really useful to have someone who has made it work!)

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I totally agree . It is something you have to go through to understand it. Even your close family do not understand how it affects us inside . I had my tbi in 1998 still recovering. Unfortunately going through a divorce as my husband cannot cope anymore with how I talk to him. He does not understand I have no control. I have found this site useful. It is good talking to people who have an incline to my problems.

Best wishes

Mufc

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Yes sadly I think this is the most difficult thing to explain , I got divorced after my sah ..my marriage broke down quite quickly but now I realise how strong I actually am x

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People outside the Head Injury victims have no concept how this thing makes you act. You are though to be a bit of a drama queen, but your brain can't function to see what the problem is. I do count myself one of the lucky ones because I have a very understanding husband, don't get me wrong we've come to blows. I would hit out and scream but over the years I know it is easier to walk away and sometimes keep my mouth shut.

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I had a craniotomy in April 2018 and I am still off work. I am nearing the end of my SSP but dont feel ready to get back to work and I am scared they will try to get rid of me. Its a constant worry.

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Oh no that’s way too early to thinking about going back to work .. I tried to go back at that point and my surgeon said I could only work 4 hours a week , I struggled with the stigma of benefits but I hand on heart can say it was the best decision I made , it gave me the time I needed to heal .. this is obviously just my personal experience.. one word of advice I would say is don’t let them make you think you’re over playing it .. be selfish take your time

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Credit to you, well done!

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I wish I knew who to go to for my daughter she has a good brain but can't walk or talk

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Hi,

I do agree with your post and a friend once told me that they believe good things come from bad things which I can relate and is whatnyou are talking about as well.

When I saw the title “Light at the end of the tunnel” it reminded me of something, a theory I read on facebook.

It was saying how they say you see a light at the end of the tunnel before you die but what if that light you see is actually the doctors torch when you are being born?

In other words, when one person dies, their spirit awakes in a new born.

And the baby is crying because they are upset that their old life had expired.

While growing up they gradually forget about the old life but every now and then they might experience a flash back and that is what we call deja vu.

It’s all just a thought and isn’t actually concrete truth but it is an interesting thought and I could certainly go along with it because I think that anything natural in life is part of a cycle. A seed is sown, seed grows into tree, tree bears apples, humans eat apple, apple digested comes out as waste, waste goes back into ground and helps grow more fruit. The cycle of life, there is no real end. For all I know I could have been Napoleon Boneapart haha.

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The NRU at Walton was a brilliant place, was there for 6 months. Same as you with the not being able to walk or talk, I knew my family and friends when they came to visit, although learning to talk again did go through a wide range of different accents. 15 years since I was there and I have worked in a wide variety of jobs been back to college to study and I know if I want to do something I'll get it done. I honestly think people who have dealt with this are way more resilient and adaptable, we know what it's like to loose yourself so when you find yourself you become more determined to make things work and you are a shinning example of this, well done.

Quite recently my brain injury has been questioned in my ability to deal with things and to be honest it really knocked my confidence but I know I have dealt with much bigger things, for gods sake I was hit by a car when walking crossing the road so someone questioning my ability to read legal information ( I was working in a job to do with tax law ) should be the least of my worries. BTW quit the job, my ability to work and understand things was not the issue, it was the managements handling of the situation that lead me to quit. I know I'm not thick which was how they were making me feel. Like yourself I've done something I'm proud of, I'm a published author 'It Was Not My Time' a book about my accident so it is so reassuring to see other people succeed and hope you carry on being the successful lady you obviously are.

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As I’m reading this I have a huge smile on my face ... my thoughts exactly x

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Hi, I'm currently relearning to walk independently, my balance I think is my main problem. My walking is there as I can walk linked armed with someone just not on my own yet.. It's bn 14 months and Im still waiting on it to correct. Did it take you and long time to relearn this?

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Well done you , you are doing a damn fine job 😀 yes my balance was and still is a tiny issue .. Slowlu bit surly it will come back .. just keep going, I used to hide my balance issues with using a pushchair to hide my wobble

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I forget that l have a BI & my family forget, it did cause me a lot of stress to start with. I did an anger management course with my husband and l think l have tried just about every form of therapy. I remember 1 of my councillors crying as l explained whatever was going on to her. So that made me realise maybe l was being a bit hard on myself, all we (my husband & l ) wanted was to get back the person before the accident. It takes time to accept that person isn’t there anymore. Learn to like the person you are now, your older, wiser & have a whole new life experience to draw from 👍🏼

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It is certainly a positive outcome. Could we have more info as to what happened and how long it took before you could speak, walk and recognize anyone.

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I was hit by a car while crossing the road walking home from a night out. I was with my husband and a friend. I suffered fractured skull,hence BI, fractured fibula & tibia in my right leg, fractured 3 vertebrae, cheekbone, de-gloving, punctured lung & M.R.S.A. In a coma 4-5 weeks, Hospital 8 months, 6 of this the NRU Walton Liverpool. They helped me to walk, talk & live again. Used a stick for a while. Back to work 2 weeks after discharged, just for 4 hours a week for first couple of weeks then increased by to 8 over 2 days. The OT from the NRU went to my work to advise them how to help me. I had regular monitoring & I gradually built it up my working days. However my Dad had to drive me & that frustrated me so l took driving lessons again, got myself a car on DLA. Ended up working 4 full days. Fast forward 8 years l got made redundant due to major company changes, this co-insided with my DLA being reduced so l had to return the car. I decided to go back to college to learn floristry, l'd put a lot of weight on so joined Weight Watchers got to goal then trained and became a leader. Dad became poorly & passed away, as l had cared for him l decided to become a support worker & l worked with adults with learning difficulties. After doing this for a while and it being so badly paid as l was only relief worker l went back to office temping, most recently l have gone back to the type of work l did years ago but the manager was really patronising so handed my notice in so l think l'm gonna chill for a few weeks, till l decide what my next move is going to be. That's me so far, oh in 2009 l had my book 'It Was Not My Time' published, when l was in the NRU l was advised by Headway to keep a diary about my progress and l turned it into a Novel. There you go an abreviated version of the last 15 years since accident of which it was the anniversary on the 6th August this year

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What a journey ! You have achieved so much. You sound like a very strong and determined person. Well done !

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I am still hoping, I am still waiting to see that light ! Tell us a bit more about what happened and how long it took to recognize people, to speak and walk again

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This all happened when l was still in hospital , in the first few weeks. Once l awoke from the coma, to begin with l had no idea what had happened to me. I didn’t know why l was in hospital & as l could not walk l used to spin round in my bed apparently. When l came round from my coma my first words were to tell my Dad to shut the f*ck up. He must have been taking the mick or something, my husband has told me everyone was so pleased that l’d spoken. I didn’t learn to walk till l was moved to the NRU so that was probably about 4 or 5 months into my hospital stay. I lost 5 stone as l could not feed myself due to the degloving to my right arm. I have very little memory of all this, l know it happened to me but l don’t really know that person. I have a video which my friends took of me in hospital so l can see what l was like, a very fragile version of me. I couldn’t be discharged until l had reached a weight healthy enough & l was able to do stuff like for myself. Like wash & dress myself, in the NRU l was taught to cook a meal & had a lots of different therapies to help me recover. I had physio twice a day at 1 point, it was real hard work. Once l was starting to recover l would be allowed home for the weekend, once the staff had assessed my home to make sure l would be safe. I had a commode to begin with as l could not walk upstairs to the bathroom. The first time l came home l did not know it was my home, l thought it was a really nice place. Just before my accident we had chosen a new kitchen. We had only moved into the house a year before and we had been doing the place up, stripping floors & we had re-done most of the house up. While I was in hospital my husband who is a builder fitted our kitchen. I would say my full recovery had taken around 18 months-2 years, going back to work, being in the real world l think has been key to my recovery. In the real world you’re not the only person stuff is happening to so you learn to deal with things outside of yourself. It’s so easy to become selected obsessed. But a whole world has still been happening while you’re been poorly. I used to be given dicerplinerysc at world because of my behaviour. I didn’t understand a lot of things to begin with and this helped me to re-interage

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