Husbands collapse

[TinT22]

Well I've just visited my husband again and the Dr says that his confused state may improve once I get him back to my daughters. She doesn't know if it will ease and she's not sure if it was caused by the sodium drop or something else going on. His blood tests aren't back from yesterday, but they're discharging him tomorrow and sending details to our gp about the steroids for his adrenal gland and recommending that he gets more tests from our local endocrinology department down south. He seems low and considering we're supposed to be flying out to Rhodes in 4 weeks for our daughters wedding, I really don't know whether to take a risk or cancel the flight. Its something that has been booked for over 2 years and I know him and our daughter will be so upset if I cancel, it's so stressful. I don't know what to do any more

[Chat2U]

Hi there,The first question I would ask would probably be whether or not his medical bills abroad would be covered on his travel insurance? They often exclude conditions where you are awaiting tests. I'm not sure what our reciprocal agreement is with Greece? Will they still treat him in an emergency without insurance?

The second question would be whether he realistically feels up to it in himself? It's not ideal but could he watch remotely via zoom if he didn't feel the trip was realistic just now?

I'm assuming that he's still suffering quite badly with fatigue at this stage - have you factored that into your decision if he does decide to go?

Have you gone through the process of documenting his triggers yet so you can start to anticipate pain/ fatigue crashes and plan for them? These can often lead to other symptoms as the body kind of puts itself in safe mode can't they, so managing the basics will be super important when you're away.

Would he get through a whole wedding and after party after doing the travel? And if so have you both planned ways for him to have time away from people afterwards to decompress from all that neuro stimulation?

How is he and also how are you?!

[TinT22 in reply to Chat2U]

Thanks for the pointers. We have travel insurance and I've included his hospital acquired heart attack after he aspirated and hospital acquired pneumonia which are both resolved. I had also included the low sodium. So now I'll have to phone them to include the steroids. He still wants to go and we have airport assistance, then when we get there the wedding isn't for 9 days after, then 4 more days before returning home. He isn't being realistic, because he thinks he can walk his daughter down that aisle. He wants to rest in the sun, by the pool at the villa. The only trigger he had was feeling light headed because his faints were caused by low sodium. I'll have to get him home and see how his is over the next couple of weeks. We'll be staying in our motorhome at our daughters for a few days before driving home, so I'm praying he improves. He says he feels OK, but he is still a bit confused. I feel nervous, stressed and a bit tearful, I've had a really tough 5.5 months to cope with and every time I feel things are improving, something else occurs. I feel bereaved for the life we had and how my husband was and how fit he was...we were always a team, but now it's all up to me. It was a terrible accident and I have to get used to this now being our lives.

[Lynd]

This is just my opinion but I think a wedding abroad would be too much for both of you.Have you considered going alone?

Tell the hospital you can't have him home till after the event.

Once he is home you will be a full time carer so take the opportunity while you can.

I believe people do better at home but it can take a very long time. Best wishes.

[TinT22 in reply to Lynd]

I wouldn't go alone, he wants to give his daughter away. This has been booked since before the pandemic and as the hospital has finished treating him he is being discharged today. The flight isn't till May 18th, so I've got a couple of weeks to decide.

[Pairofboots]

Hi, Tin, I would ask the doctor to assess whether your husband is fit to fly, this will take the decision out of your hands as far as travel goes. Also pre existing conditions may not be covered by travel insurance. It is something you have to be honest about, but the fact they have been informed, doesn't necessarily mean that they will cover any cost resulting. This is where the head has to rule the heart, and your husband and daughter must put their wants second to your husband's medical needs. 🍀

[TinT22 in reply to Pairofboots]

The Dr in the hospital and his consultant has said he can go. I will check with the insurance company.

[Lynd]

I really feel for you. I hope things go well for you both.

[TinT22 in reply to Lynd]

Thanks Lynd. It's a horrible situation. I keep hoping it's a bad dream

[sca2013]

So sorry this all has happened. I'm the same age as you are. From reading all the posts in this thread it sounds like you've decided to make the trip. That being said, please take care of yourself first and foremost so that you can do whatever things may be required to have a successful trip for you, your husband and family. I hope it all goes well for everyone.

After you get back you may find mourning/grieving the loss of your husband the way he used to be and the relationship you once had. Then start creating your new lives. Things will definitely be different going forward. Make it ok that it is different. That will make things go better going forward. Best wishes to you.

[TinT22 in reply to sca2013]

Thank you for thinking of us and giving me food for thought. Since my husband came out of hospital and being on Hydrocortisone, he feels better than he has for some time. He walked 1.5 miles to and from the paper shop today, he has no pain in his knees and he doesn't fall asleep throughout the day. Hopefully he'll get stronger now and keep moving in the right direction. I know we'll still have times when he's going to get frustrated and so will I, but we have to keep pushing Dr's to keep an eye on him.