It's like it didn't happen!

On the 28th August this year my 12 year old son stepped into the road in the path of an on coming car. The driver had no time to stop.

He hit the windscreen with his head. Medics were on the scene very quickly and he was put into a chemically induced coma at the scene.

His icu's were unstable for 6 days..he was paralysed and ventilated in intensive care whilst he stabilised.

He fractured his skull and obtained a small fracture in his eye socket. The fractures didn't require treatment.

Amazingly there were no other broken bones and no spinal or organ damage. He just had a bump and scrape on his temple and a few bruises.

We were told that his brain scan showed no damage but they couldn't be sure.

When he was woken he recognised all his family and once drugs had worn off passed his neuro and physical tests with flying colours.

He is a little tired but very much himself and attending school part time at present. Amazing relief.

I'm struggling to believe that there isn't going to be something long term for us to deal with. I can't get the image of him in intensive care out of my head. I could have lost him...but I didn't. The desperate wait for him to be woken and then the joy of being told he seems fine is strange. The Drs told me he was extremely lucky. I'm not back to work yet..on unpaid leave. Everyone else has gone back to normal just pleased he seems fine. I can't seem to move on..I'm stuck back in icu watching the nurses keep him stable...being allowed to wash him and help them...willing him to wake up and know who his mum is. I can't seem to cry. It's all so bizarre.

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10 Replies

  • i am sorry i wrote a long post, but for some reason it didn't reply but i never remember what i right as i right it as i would say it

    but basically i would say what you are experiencing is a natural reaction to an incident and that reaction is essentially a trauma in itself,

    hopefully as you talk to people and offload, things will get easier, you have had to be strong since then so the fact you cannot cry is suppressed and normal, one day it will just all blurt out

    but share and talk with others or here as it will help

    but if not go see your gp and there is help available some counselling or CBT should help

  • I am sure I would be the same if I was you. I can't imagine what you have been through ( I have a 5 year old boy). Have you spoken to you doctor, is it possible you have some sort of post traumatic stress/shock?

  • Dear Alice, you've had the worst kind of shock imaginable for any mother. The whole rollercoaster of events, from 'deaths door' to awful uncertainty and now almost back to normal has all happened so quickly that you are probably stunned with shock.

    For most people such an accident would result in serious trauma so to realise that your boy has been so incredibly lucky.......must feel like a miracle, and miracles are pretty shocking !!

    Don't over-analyse your reaction, or the event its self, just take time to let everything sink in and keep talking it through with anyone who'll listen. You're in shock......and quite entitled to be !

    And please don't dwell on the long term, if your son has been given the all clear you deserve to relax and enjoy that fact.

    Better than winning the lottery ? love Cat xx

  • Hi Alice71 I understand exactly how you are feeling and you must focus on the positive - I am presently going through a very similar experience. My 13 year old daughter stepped out in front of a bus two weeks ago and she was initially unconscious but came around at the scene. She sustained a fracture to her skull from which she is to make a full recovery - I feel so relieved and so blessed yet I still feel extremely worried. I cant sleep properly or cry and its difficult when people tell you that you need to just forget the scene. I was actually close by at the time of the accident and It was myself who put her in recovery and talked to her to wake her up. It was the most horrific experience ever and a scene I would also like to forget. I hope in time we can both forget these awful scene. There doesnt seem to be a rule on how long she should be off school so I expect around 6 to 8 weeks then return part time. Would you mind telling me how long it was before your little boy went to school and hows he found it. It cant do any harm talking to your GP if you dont feel better soon.

  • Hi ronni I think what therapy I mentioned may help you also.u don't ever forget what happened but makes it easier xx

  • Hi Alice Hun.sorry to hear about what you have went through and so glad to hear your son recovered so well.after watching my hubby being attacked,even when he awoke,all I could see in my mind was him lying there unconscious on the road.eventually after few months he got a placement with great brain injury rehab.the new psychologist was excellent and even had sessions with myself.painful as it was she did therapy using rapid eye desensitisation.had 3 sessions and no more nightmares or reliving the panic.could think about hubby's accident without feeling despair and fear.if you could find someone that you could get to try this with you,I deeply recommend

  • I think the other posters are right. It is shock/PTSD and not surprising when you've seen a child so ill. Please find the time to be kind to yourself, you've been to hell and back. I'm glad your youngster is back at school, they certainly seem to bounce back much more quickly than older people.

    I worked in school and a child came back a few weeks after a head injury. The school wanted to provide the best possible care for the child and the rule was when she felt tired she was to rest in the sick room and could go home if she wanted to, they were totally flexible. The child was eager to be back with friends and I feel that she pushed herself too far at times, denying that she was tired even when she was because she didn't want to miss break with her friends or a favourite lesson. Looking back I think we could have been more pro-active in saying 'you're flagging,someone will take you to the office' as I think with fatigue the more you fight it the more impact it has on recovery/mood etc.

  • Hi Alice, i know exactly how you are feeling! Our son was 13 when he was hit by a car, he too was put into an induced coma but when they reduced the chemicals he remained in a coma for a further 10 weeks and consequently he does experience memory and executive function deficits, double vision and a slight right side hemaparesis! We still say it was a miracle he survived and has done so well in life!

    We had a flat at the hospital (for 4 weeks) and then visited for 12 hours a day until our son was discharged . Whilst he was in hospital we were in a bubble being supported by hospital staff and it was when we came home that the enormity of the whole situation hit me and I had to seek counselling for my grief and anti depressants from my GP. I was unable to return to work for 6 months though our son was back to school 6 weeks after discharge from hospital (a special school for 1 year then he returned to his original school with his same year group)

    Please look at the positive outcome you have but also ask for help from your GP because it sounds like you may be reliving the experience on a regular basis and thinking of what might have been the outcome!

    Enjoy your son and try not to be too hard on yourself it is very normal for you to be struggling at this stage! I was told to write all my feelings down on paper then burn the paper and say goodbye to those negative emotions/ thoughts and look to the future positively!

    I want to wish you all the very best and the tears will come if you write it all down i'm sure! X

  • Thank you everyone for your replies.

    I guess as the accident was only 5 weeks ago the shock and grief hasn't fully hit me yet. Just reading your replies, especially from other parents in similar situations, has helped and I do appreciate just how lucky we are that he seems to have no major issues.

    Ronnie666-he was asleep for 6 days in hospital then woken and observed for a further week before being discharged. He had 10 days at home before he started back at school. This is his second week and he is doing well..he is going in at 1pm for a couple of hours. This includes lunch time so we can see how he copes in social situations. So far so good.

  • Thank you for taking time to reply - and I agree it does help when sharing experiences. I really am so pleased for you that your son is doing so well. Going back to school must have been a big step - it is a big concern for me as her school is very big (almost 2000 children) and I know how boisterous it can get. Her tutors are quite happy for her to learn at home for now and rightly or wrongly I want her at home for as long as possible. . . I watch her sleeping at night and feel so blessed - even her hearing on one side which is impaired at the moment it is expected to return. As you say it is amazing relief however I am still unable to put many of my thoughts into words. I hope your little boys has a full and speedy recovery and that you seek the help you need from your GP as soon as possible. I do believe time will be a great healer too. Take care and let me know how you get on.

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