Anyone else use the I’ve got BI excuse? - Headway


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Anyone else use the I’ve got BI excuse?

keeley24 profile image
18 Replies

Short term memory is probably one of most common BI side effects just about everyone I know including me struggles to some extent with it. The man who set up the BI group I go to has been through tough times but 6 years on he’s done well for himself and often uses his BI as excuse for just about everything if he’s late for anything it’s cos of his BI if he forgets anything he’s got a BI. It’s actually a joke between us having selective memory which my mum thinks I have and he knows so he will say I’ve got selective memory even admitting once accidentally that he has selective memory. This week he’d put a picture up on a wall and it fell off he blamed the wall for not being level. I asked him wasn’t it cos of his BI and he said that was the next excuse. It’s nice to be able to have a joke about it without worrying about something being taken wrong way.

18 Replies
Kirk5w7 profile image

Its not an excuse Keeley its an explanation.

If the gentleman in question is anything like me then his day to day functioning has probably decreased dramatically and it will be down to his BI.

He recognises this and wants people to understand he has not always been like this.


bexx87 profile image

You do realise that by starting off with does anyone else use bi as a excuse is going to cause outrage and backlash because like Janet said it's not a excuse I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy

Matt2584 profile image


You, I and every other BI’er will know about the dreaded “Oh, we all get like that” type phrase. My dad used to say it quite a few times. Whenever I was in the car and he was sat next to me and I yawned he would ask if I were tired and then say “We all get like that”.

I won’t go and say “No, we don’t all get like that” because that is wrong. We do all get like that... at times.

BUT for a BI’ed person it can be very different and for a very different reason too.

Some BI’ed folk suffer with chronic fatigue and get tired very easily so they may yawn often.

Thankfully I don’t.

There was one time when I was talking to my dad about something and there was something that I was supposed to do that I had forgotten about. He raised his voice as he was a bit irked and I said to him “I have got a brain injury”. And then he shut up.

It wasn’t just to shut him up and I won’t use that excuse all of the time cos it get’s annoying for others and chances are it’s not just brain injury that get’s in the way. Sometimes it could be silly actions made by the BI’ed person themself. It is sometimes like that for me.

0101 profile image
0101 in reply to Matt2584

Hi Matt

Well put. I yawned in front of a fairly new friend just last week in the afternoon. I sort of knew I was and there was a moment I realised I should be stopping myself and making some polite excuse. It was a real Lion on the plains stretch. But they realised and made some slightly sarky oh am I boring you remark, but then caught themselves and said oh no I realise you must be exhausted. It was great and much better than me saying the same thing. It's not impolite when your eyes are held open with matchsticks and isn't about boredom.

I wonder if anyone's used the app sleep programme. I've been writing a sleep diary and noticing all this a bit more. I was suddenly feeling being 'sleepy' as opposed to just 'tired' let alone 'fatigued' which seems permanent. Their advice is that you delay trying to sleep until this point. May seem obvious to you all but I was trying to force myself to sleep at 'normal times' then sleep restriction when they had me sleeping at 1.30 and trying to wake at 6.45. You then have core hours of productive sleep, not hanging around resting vs sleeping. It's a work in progress but is evidence based and has some useful tools like relaxation downloads and guided ones for people that might not be able to control or use their muscles in standard progressive relaxation. Haven't got the hang of naps but trying it.

What's the equivalent of 'hangry' - angry because you're not hungry but sleepy? Slangry? Fangry - I'll leave it up to you to say what the 'f' is for but clearly it's fatigue. Ffangry? Tangry.

Sorry. No sleep!

Matt2584 profile image
Matt2584 in reply to 0101

I like 'Slangry'. Sleepy/Angry but it does sound like you are angry by slang words :).

How about Fatiguery or Sleegry.

Tangry looks a bit like a typing error of 'tangy' but with an added 'R' :).

0101 profile image
0101 in reply to Matt2584

Sleegry! Love it! :-D Sounds like a creepy Tolkein character.

Matt2584 profile image
Matt2584 in reply to 0101

Sleegry does sound like a Tolkien character actually. Either Tolien or Rowling. I could also imagine Sleegry as a Harry Potter character :).

sealiphone profile image

Excuse or explanation, I don't employ it unless it's absolutely necessary. In my experience if you make people aware, everything you do or say will be filtered by prejudice, both positive and negative and I don't want either of those, just judge me.

Totally different issue with friends I'll laugh when they point out my idiosyncrasies and I'll refer to my TBI when I've just done something stupid.

RogerCMerriman profile image

I tend not to, for one I’m high functioning so for most part I can cope, and I equally most folks just look confused if you say I have a brain injury, if someone who I haven’t a clue who they are says “hi roger” I might comment that I’m mildly faceblind and though I believe them I haven’t a clue who they are!

About the only time really is if I’m teasing/joking with one of the younger volunteers at the local Headway if they have had a “blonde moment”

bexx87 profile image
bexx87 in reply to RogerCMerriman

I do the same I get so many people in work ask me stuff and I'm like how what when I did I tell you that but I don't think it out loud I just polity nod and smile

keeley24 profile image

I know BI symptoms are genuine and can’t be helped and it’s not nice dealing with them, I get my mum thinking I have selective memory cos I can remember things I’m bothered about but forget stuff I’m not bothered about yea can get annoying people thinking I deliberately forget stuff I’m not bothered over. Like man who runs BI group does still struggle with some things and it seems to be things you wouldn’t expect him to struggle with he does them stuff you would think is harder he manages fine.

I didn’t say using BI as excuse to upset anyone and of course it is a genuine reason for some things. Just the man who runs BI group does use it as excuse for example we had been on a day out for the group and he had an appointment to go to when he got back he’d remembered and knew the time and place. We set off back in time but got stuck in traffic and he wasn’t the one driving so had no control over getting back any faster it was the fact we got stuck in traffic why he was late but he said it was cos of his BI.

steve55 profile image

everyone of your posts mentions the man who set up your group, now be honest, youre amongst friends, do you fancy him?

keeley24 profile image
keeley24 in reply to steve55

Honestly? ........ yes, but he’s in relationship and I have no intention of trying to get with him. I just enjoy going to the group and not going to risk anything becoming awkward between us. There was a woman who used to work at the group who knew how I felt and would joke about it and she said the man doesn’t know how I feel and I intend to keep it that way.

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to keeley24

im sorry, i was only teasing x

keeley24 profile image
keeley24 in reply to steve55

Lol it’s ok had that with woman who used to work there always making weird faces at us even saying stuff in front of the man luckily he didn’t take notice cos he was busy with something else (actually where it was useful his BI effecting him as he only focuses on one thing at a time)

steve55 profile image
steve55 in reply to keeley24

maybe who knows. the beauty of a bi eh keeley x

boxergirl777 profile image

I wish mine was an excuse memory loss is rarely faked ?? :))

fredikins profile image

No, but my headway brain injury card came in useful for the first time recently, having made another impulsive purchase, in what may have been difficult circumstances for a refund it proved to be my "get out of jail free" card.

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