Wow four weeks into counselling and I can't believe how good it is for me. I was so fearful at first thinking it wouldn't help and that it was going to be a waste of time but I'm so so pleased I'm doing it.
How does this work though?
My counsellor is fantastic and we have a complete spiritual connection about things, well she seems to understand me I can be completely honest with her. I have and still am discovering some deep hidden problems that are bubbling up due to the counselling which would not have come out if all this hadn't have happened, wow.
Another honest admission about adoption as I was adopted from 8 weeks old, like a puppy I guess and have loving and caring adopted parents, had them for 47 years but now since Bi I really want to meet my birth mother. I want to find out about myself. I know it seems strange but how does this happen. I wasn't interested before the Bi at all to the point it didn't even cross my mind. The only time I mentioned it was when my first child was born but not since then. Its just come out while talking to my counsellor and we have discussed it great detail too. The wondering the uncertainty it all makes a little sense now.
Another journey coming up. Loving life and what it holds one day at a time.
Have a fantastic Thursday people. Nick XX
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MXman
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I'm so pleased that the counselling is working for you, Nick.
Lots of 'other' people assumed that, after my near-miss, I'd want to re-connect with my family- I'm not adopted, I chose to remove myself from my family when I was 18. Your situation is very different to mine, and, as much as I've spent the last year putting-myself-back-together, I never wanted the 'family' back, because I understood my very valid reasons for the distance I've maintained for over 20 years.
As an outsider to your situation, though, it makes a lot of sense for you to want to re-connect with your birth parents, that's in no way to belittle what your adoptive parents gave you, that will always be there, it's more that a life-changing event can cause us to reflect on the other jigsaw-pieces that make us 'us'.
All the best moving forwards, backwards, or sideways in this thing we call life- much love to you and yours.
Having been a research fellow, lecturer and teacher of psychology I had interesting ways of considering my memory difficulties as a consequence of viral encephalitis. My amazingly supportive counselor had to put up with me constantly analysing her approaches to help me learn who I was and who I have become. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy really helped, both me and every time I returned home from my latest supportive appointment I helped my husband! Oops, unfortunately for him, somethings never change.
Also, although I wasn't adopted I have become very keen on discovering my foster carer who looked after me whenever it was needed.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, I don't feel so alone now. Cheers!
Oops, similar thing happened many, many years ago a government psycho analayst tried to analyse myslef and some colleagues. By lunch time she was in tears and they had to send a replacement.
I always rubbished the idea of counselling 'til I actually had it. I remember telling the counsellor it would be a waste of time & I was only going through with it to satisfy my GP.
He nodded and smiled, and within two sessions I was blubbing my heart out amidst accounts of my childhood experiences of my father, and the recent death of my mother.
In counselling we can be completely free with the truth, meaning that we dredge up issues that we've deliberately buried. These issues fester and haunt us unless we can truly 'exorcise' them by bringing them out into the light.
I often equate the process to certain types of illness, where vomiting rids us of the poisons in our system and we feel enormous relief !!
Hope you continue to benefit from it Nick & I'm happy to see how it's helping so far. xxx
Must admit, I am one of those that can't see how Counselling could help me. It was suggested by a few NeroPysch a while a go because they thought I was struggling to come to terms with my injury.
What they couldn't reconcile was that me seeking to improve myself or find "cures" was my technologist mindset that if something is broken then you can either fix it or work around it or you can struggle on with it.
Improving yourself / myself is one of the items i was really interested in as iv got this new connection with feelings (my feelings were none existent, alcoholic problem) now I have them and its really strange when you really feel something.
Im now getting to know myself and learning about myself which I didn't do when I was drinking so its a bit of a revelation for me.
Completely agree with what you say "fix it" or "work around it" or "struggle on with it" the later was my attempt but no more struggling.
Good for you Nick, I'm really glad it's helping. I never really thought about seeing a neuropsychological and a counsellor.
With regards to the adoption thing, I have a friend who hadn't even considered looking for her birth parents until she was unwell and wanted to know more about her background. She found them, met her Dad a couple of times and is still in contact with her mum.
As a meds-phobic PTSD survivor I plumped for my first batch of counselling in my mid 20s - to avoid the new SsRI drugs that were being thrown around like smarties at the time. It was the first step in a journey of self exploration which continues to this day.
I am lucky that my neuropsych is also a Christian so we can talk about things on a spiritual level as well as an emotional one - a good thing when a key relationship in your life is with God.
I also go for regular spiritual direction with a lovely and wise nun. In my journey towards my brain op she has been as key to my getting my head round things as the psych really.
As to the adoption thing a friend of mine tracked his birth mother down a few years back. He talks of his 'mums' now. It has obviously been a most wonderful journey for him and I pray it will be for you too.
I have found My spiritual side and God through AA and love what you said about a key relationship as it is for me. Prayers are a plenty too. God bless. Nick xx
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