When all is said and done, when we are alone, or looking at ourselves in the mirror or a reflection in a window, for some of us we see something very different than before.
Every day I do what all of us do, ie, I get on with it... sometimes though, I just wish.
Is it just vanity to want some of me back, is it ok to not be ok about things? I know so many are very much worse off than me, i should appreciate what I've got...
I miss the 'me' of the past.
Hi
I so agree - the old me had stamina, determination, always busy and getting things done.
Hi Deborah,
It sounds like you are wrestling with how much to let yourself acknowledge your wistful feelings, and wondering whether it is better to just try to bury those feelings.
Your post made me think of an article I read that was about how long you can supportively listen to a friend who has a recurring grievance before you start making their situation worse (by enabling them to cement that sense of grievance). I think that concept also applies to us when we entertain negative feelings on our own; perhaps there is value in some amount of indulging our regrets/wishes that things were different, but also some healthy limit that we should put on those thoughts so that they don't erode our sense of possibilities.
Here is an article that is not the one I mention above but which has some strategies that we can use on ourselves ( " Validate, sympathize, deflect, redirect"). lifehacker.com/how-to-deal-...
And...no, it is not just vanity. I'm sure your "past me" was terrific. I am also sure that your current me is unique and wonderful.
All the best,
Taia
Of course its ok just dont let it stop you from growing as the person you are now.
Ive hit a brick wall, winter hasnt helped but there is Xmas to look forward to and hopefully a holiday in the NY.
Meanwhile i have turned to anti depressants, i sidnt want to but i have suffered from SAD well before my ABI but it can be harder to cope with now i have physical limitations.
I still dont like to catch a glimpse of me i a mirror with my lopsided smile but when i relax and laugh and smile its just like the old me.
There is a lesson there for me that i must build on.
Do be kind to yourself.
Janet
Your post made me smile.....but a wry smile, with a sense of camaraderie and sadness. We've all had to wrestle with letting go of who we once were, but we wouldn't be human if the stranger in the mirror didn't spook us sometimes...….and if we didn't lament our former capabilities and enthusiasm.
It reminds me of an Oscar Wilde comment who (though he died young)…... something about waking up and wondering where the hell his life had gone. So I guess it's a similar feeling to ageing except we've been deprived of the in-between years, and the 'who know what' memories.
It isn't vanity Deborah, but an inevitable & natural emotion, and surely we deserve a wobble here & there ! Hope you won't let it rule you m'love ; you've always been SO strong.....💐
Cat x
Thankyou so much, love to see your posts as you made me feel so safe a long time ago. Yes, a wobble now and then is exactly what it is. I won't let it get me down.
20 years and 6 months since coma
New here possible TBI?
Christmas IS Coming!
Looking at the world the other way round
