Crying in post traumatic amnesia

[sue-66]

My partner is still in pta 11 weeks after tbi and last night's visit, he got really upset, it was out of the blue, never happened before. I felt helpless, as he isn't talking hardly yet and had no way of knowing how to help, other then talking calmly to him. The question I'm asking is to other people who have experienced this, who have tbi and can remember anything about this, or carers who have been in my position and is this a normal reaction with tbi?

[razyheath43]

yes its"normal" with any kind of B.I yes its upsetting but it should pass,take care try to relax and support him x

[sue-66 in reply to razyheath43]

Thank you razyheath, knowing that its normal helps me understand how to help him. You can read any amount of info, but sometimes you learn more from other people's experience.

[razyheath43 in reply to sue-66]

its my pleasure,my hubby bless him was up and down and he had aquired brain injury

[Bradybunch35]

Hi sorry to hear you sad news. There is no control over emotions and all I would say is cuddle them like you would a small baby - love is all you can give to them.

Take care of yourself too xx

[sue-66 in reply to Bradybunch35]

That's a great idea, I hold his hand and stroke his arm and talk gently and calmly, but haven't thought to try a hug . X

[steve55 in reply to sue-66]

sue 66 i suffered an abi and i cry for no reason, there is nothing more demeaning than than being cuddled like a baby, just leave us alone.

[sue-66 in reply to steve55]

That is also good to know steve55, I am talking calmly to him at the moment. He's at the stage where he is confused about where he is.

[Elkay_1954]

Definitely was very normal for us. Visits to my son at this same stage of recovery were often distressing. He could do so little - only just starting physiotherapy and with very little speech. As he began to talk again, he would BEG me to take him home. One night he said to me "please mum, take me with you, I can sleep on the garage floor".

Heartbreaking.

Hang in in there and be strong - it does get easier. X

[sue-66 in reply to Elkay_1954]

He has already wrote, I want to go home, if he was talking fully I know I'd find it harder. I can normally hold it together, but it was hard to that day. X

[lcd8]

HI Sue. Speaking as a long-term TBI sufferer I would say that yes this is an entirely normal reaction. Your partner has ben through a terrific amount in a relatively short space of time. He is bound to be questioning why this has happened to him and also to be mourning the person he was and feeling confused. Give him time to adjust to his new normal and all the love, comfort and cuddles you can. Just be there for him. It really helps even if you feel helpless, promise.

[sue-66 in reply to lcd8]

Thank you lcd8, it's so important to get how someone with tbi has felt and thought and knows from his point of view. All support is so helpful to understand x

[dillyd]

My husband was in PTA for 4 months.

It was horrible for me, but he can remember very little about it.

As everyone has already said, lots of cuddles & reassurance, it WILL get better.

When his speech improved, he would ask staff to phone me, sometimes up to 20 times a day, just to hear my voice & know I was going to see him.

I can remember leaving him & crying my heart out in the car park because I felt so guilty, but knowing it was the best place for him to be.

Please take care of yourself, he will need you so much, you need to stay well to manage.

Thinking of you & sending positive vibes

[sue-66 in reply to dillyd]

Thank you for your words of comfort dillyd. I can't imagine what thoughts go through his mind and I do feel helpless in helping him.

[Elkay_1954]

Yes it's very hard trying to explain why they can't come home - we went through this routine for five months. I got better at explaining to him why he needed to stay (for now) and that if I ever considered he would make more progress at home then that's where he would be. Eventually, the time did come when I thought he would make more progress at home and we kept our word to him.

[sue-66]

There are regular things I say to him, to try help him understand elkay. Thank you all for your positive input its definitely helpfull and supportive.

[bertiefred]

Hi. I just want to let you know I am in a very similar situation to you and it is so very hard. I hope it helps to know you are not alone and if we can share experiences it may help.

My husband fell off his bike 8 weeks ago. He was in an induced coma for 2 weeks and had a craineotomy to remove a blood clot .

He is still in PTA and although her has some days when he is more lucid , he also has many days when he is very confused and hallucinating.

He has no insight into how the brain injury is affecting him , and pleads with me every day to take him home. He is worried about work as he is self employed and knows he will loose all his work if he doesn't get back soon. He thinks he can just go straight back to work.

He cries all the time and thinks he has lost everything, including me, and no amount of reassurance helps.

He is now in a neuro rebab hospital in Salisbury which is 100 miles from where I live.

I break my heart every day and I just pray to see an improvement soon

I wish you well and hope you can keep strong. And as everyone says to me , look after yourself x

[sue-66 in reply to bertiefred]

Its good to hear other peoples experience, whether carer or someone with Bi, both are important. Its just over 13 weeks and he is doing well, but the upset was so unexpected the first time, he does always say help me, but its frustrating for us both as he is struggling with sound, so I can't always hear what his worries are. He is still waiting for a bed for rehab, which is frustrating, as hes ready to progress and at the moment, just spending most of the time in bed. What I find is that he is doing more then they expect him to be doing at the stage he is at, but yet they don't see it and so its frustrating getting the right help and advice for him. X