Angelfish

Hello all

I am Angelfish28 (Angie) I have read the posts and replies about my post and the reply I received, thank you for all the messages. I just wanted to say something to everyone this is a forum of two halves of one battle and that is living with a bi. It isn't just the people who have suffered the bi, but their families and partners. Both sides are very vulnerable, usually frightened low and in a lot of cases isolated and alone. It has taken a lot for me to share my situation, being caught between a rock and a hard place with no one around me. I shared my situation with you for two reasons, firstly for me to speak out, but secondly for other carers, that they wouldn't feel they're on their own. I would ask everyone to please be careful of any replies to posts you don't know how fragile that person is, and what affect your words will have.

21 Replies

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  • Good morning Angie, I too am a wife of a bi and I agree it's a hard life some days. I too go through really sad times and I hope you are ok.

    Big hugs ❤️

  • bradybunch35 my wife too had a difficult time with me the doc referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed me weds for my behaviour ( not anti depressants )

  • I hope they are making life better for you both - I do understand that he is not in control. I sometimes think he's a bit similar to someone with ADH and wondered about talking to gp about trialling some meds ?

  • bradybunch are you talking about someone with adhd or adh as in someone who takes warfarin?

  • I only pop in and out of here occasionally, so I have not read your previous messages, but as the sole carer for the last 4 and a half years, I can so sympathise with anyone in the same situation. We have reached breaking point, and are talking about going our separate ways in the future. This is something I would never have dreamed could have happened in the beginning, but no one can begin to understand how difficult it all is. Close friends and relatives who I thought would be such a great help, have disappeared off the face of the earth, whether they don't understand, or just don't care I have no idea, but I know that I blame them for what has happened to my marriage, just as much as the BI. I hope this helps maybe just one person who is going through hell at this moment, wracked with feelings of guilt and sadness. It is the loneliest place on earth, but you are one of many I am sure.

  • one result of my BI is that virtually all emmotion has gone so i am not affected by most things

  • molly15 you probably lost your friends because of your husbands behaviour, why do i say that, i caused my wife to have a melt down.

    she went to the docs and he referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed me medication for my behaviour.

    i forgot to say to brady bunch i was referred to the neuro psychiatrist who also dignosed me as having adhd.

  • Omg I see that in my husband too think I will follow my instinct and try to get him assessed thank you x

  • That's very sad for you both but I can understand - like you lots of people have left us. I think they grieved for the person they knew before but didn't really want to know the new person after the bi.

    I hope you can achieve peace of mind for you both try to stay friends x

  • point taken , but sometimes you do not know if your reply will offend , have never tried to offend anyone on this forum but you cannot allways get it right

    lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    john

  • Good to see you back angie. You have had a lot of people asking after you chuck. Big hugs all round xx

  • I am so sorry Angie to hear that some responses have caused you upset that you felt you had to leave the forum. It is good that you have come back. Unfortunately what you experienced on here does happen at times and not just to you. I myself was going to leave the forum a while ago when I was being 'picked on' by someone who kept having a go at me about the format of what I write and also had some other very unhelpful and unkind responses. When we are feeling vulnerable and reaching out it is so hard not to be very upset about those replies and to be able to shrug them off ........ they are emotionally hurtful aren't they! This is a brain injury forum and therefore some people with a bi have lost there ability to not be overly direct, impulsive in what they say and tactless because they no longer comprehend that what they think is a rigid self opinion and that they have lost their insight to what is appropriate and when they shouldn't say it 'as it is' because it is inappropriate and someone else will feel that stance is far from how it is for them, not at all helpful and is uncaring and hurtful.

  • This unfortunately is true, added to the anonymous feeling that folks feel about the internet means they say things that are harsher than they would face to face.

  • Yes I was forgetting the anonymity aspect, which I agree in this virtual world Roger, can let some folk 'speak their mind' without any thought to the bluntness, harshness etc than if we knew them in our real world.

  • Indeed though the irony being that, due to the nature of the internet, i.e. it's a network that one is connected to, it's anything but anonymous in truth.

  • Yes we are certainly in a world Now of no privacy and all sorts of information being known about us!

  • Welcome back Angie ; it's good to see you ! xxx

  • Glad you are back! :) xx

  • Hello Angel - Jules here,

    Sooooo pleased to see your name here when i popped in mate (like so many others i see here too).

    Kindest regards

    Jules

    x

  • Good to see you posting again how are you doing? Xx

  • Good to see you back 😁 big hug xxx

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