Just reading some posts and......... Am I alone in thinking that RECOVERY is a truly c*** use of language.?
The implication (in my understanding) of recovery is that one can expect a return to normal (whatever that was for us).
Is it just possible a different term would reduce the anxiety felt by many?
Recovery can place unreaisitc pressures on both the patient and their family.
difficulties with language and the fact that we were all wired differently before a bi not to mention being faced with a box full of unconnected wires after a bi mean that choosing a replacement for Recovery could be tricky.
Some words I think might be better could be.....
Adjusting
Adapting
Achieving
Any other ideas.?
Love n hugs
Xoxo
Written by
randomphantoms
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Hi Random. Well after the 'survival' word is safe to use, I agree that 'recovery' doesn't often fit the bill.
I suppose 'acceptance' has to be our first goal, then I'd suggest the word 'progress' because it could refer to our improvements so far, as well as our ongoing condition, and it has a ring of optimism ??
all of the above! and having more good days than bad.I.E.only counting the good.and i quote my long term friend who has a child with specail needs,"if you can go to bed thinking its a been a good day,then have another one,you donot need to bother counting the bad"
Likewise all of the above after 50years my brain still goes on holiday at times so yes I think we survive rather than recover
I like to think of myself as being on a process of DIScovery rather than REcovery. Every day I discover something else that I can do (as well as being reminded of something that I can't...it's not all rosy-tinted, necessarily). It's not always directly related to my illness, or my aneurysm, although I don't think I would have got quite so philosophical without either of them.
Sometimes it is down to the change in life circumstances - potting up 50 tomato seedlings on a Monday afternoon and wondering how it is I haven't managed to kill most of them, as I used to in the days when I worked non-stop and so always forgot to water them, made me realise today that I have become quite an adept food producer these last 5 years.
Sometimes it's down to all the time spent horizontal and feeling like c**p, when the only options are get bored rigid, talk to someone close to you (although not even my best friends get to see me in my jim-jams), or get online - but there again you see I can tell you of a discovery : I didn't know what a forum was, except in the Roman sense, until I got ill...
Sometimes it comes out of the blue and surprises me and others around me: no-one knew I could write poetry like that; or that I would find sticking pretty paper on random bits of wood so entertaining, and that other people would ask for my creations as presents; no-one would ever have guessed or believed I would be able to sit out in my garden and enjoy doing nothing at all. It has all been a process of discovery.
In fact it's even better than that, it's a treasure hunt. True, I sometimes feel like what I have unearthed is some kind of medieval midden, full of the detritus others will have thrown away years ago. But as is often the way, there are still gems hidden amongst it all, there waiting to be unearthed, dusted off, and polished.
Perhaps the greatest revelation of all has been that of the place of the 'wounded healer'. With my wonky legs, befuddled brain and rather unpredictable 'stayability' I am hardly an advert for a get-up-and-go girl these days. But I am still as bl**dy-minded as ever, and will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Turns out there are quite a lot of people who seem to have found this to be an inspiration, or a wake up call in their own lives. And unlike many people in today's world, I have the time and space in my life to listen to them, and that helps out a lot too. That's not bad going for one who can't always remember which way is up, let alone know how to get there!
Have to agree with the wrong wording given to you when dealing with a bi.
Recovery is but one of the missleading words used unless you are lucky enough to return back to your previous state.
The one that really didnt help me was being told I would learn to COPE. Although I suppose they were being helpfull I found coping a short term measure and only when I began to use the word ADAPT did I feel permanant changes made.
Its funny what a simple word change can make but such an important change.
I think recovery is an acceptable term to use just so long as people appreciate that the terminology has many different levels. I consider myself to now be twenty one years into my recovery. It's an ongoing process, as simple as that really. I didn't die, therefore I am recovering. Fortunately, I recovered (and am still recovering) to an extent that I am able to lead a reasonable quality of life now.
However, I fully understand that recovery isn't always that 'good' in far too many cases. Some people recover minimally and sadly are held back by the consequences of their injuries, whether that be physically or mentally.
I'm waffling a bit now, but what I'm clumsily trying to say is that recovery is recovery, but possibly rarely actually means a FULL recovery. We've all recovered to a certain extent and that extent is determined by the legacy left behind by the injuries
this, it's a recovery phase but clearly some will have a much more full recovery than others, I'm well aware that i'm close to what I was, not quite but not far off.
now don't get me wrong I get far more tired and suffer in cluttered places etc loud pubs/cafes deplete me quickty quicky.
and with my balance being fobared I need light to balance with out it's wobble/curse/twitch/wobble etc
There are lots of great points and just to throw a few more into the mix ........
At one point I was told that the damage is non recoverable yet here I am walking and talking though rarely at the same time lol.
We with a bi and who are pig headed enough to do whatever it takes can surprise the medics. My main concern is for those around us who are affected by our bi. The concerns in a few posts about a father, brother etc. I wonder if it would make it easier for the writers to cope if the language was different.
I agree with you, I do not agree with the word 'recovery'. It is similar to the word 'better'.
Like I was saying in another post, to get better is like getting over a cold. It is not the same thing with a BI.
You can't go to the doctors and they prescribe you with a medicine to cure your BI. Then afterwards a friend asks you how you are and you say you are all better or "I am fully recovered" because that is impossible.
I know people who have been found dead but have been revived. Some of them had to learn the basic, menial things in life like walking and talking. They have certainly come a long way and even now I think those people are probably ahead of me in life, such as living alone, they have a job etc, but even they have not fully recovered from BI. It can't be done. That is how I see it anyway.
A BI is for life or it is life-changing.
It may sound a bit off but part of me is glad I had a BI because then I wouldn't be in the position I am in now, I wouldn't know the people that are in my life right now and I am happy with my life now.
So in other words, I had a very horrible thing done to me and now I have bettered my life. Like you said 'adjusted'.
So I have bettered my life but have not got better from my BI.
A friend of mine once told me, good things come from bad things and I completely agree with that.
Very interesting post, I agree with you about recovery and also with Roger, I would have previously thought of it as being the end point, a result ie of how we used to be
That will never happen, unfortunately. I like Cats 'progress' though
Onwards and upwards with the recovery, progress, acceptance and everything else
Xx
my mother used to try to compare my bi with her cancer and I couldn't get through to her that she recovered from it. There is an air of inescapability about our condition, I am now and never will be the same as I was. Personaly I love it, people so rarely reinvent themselves so entirely as I have done. The bi gave me a clean slate to forget and rewrite, and despite the weird and wonderful foibles of my condition, I am ultimately a better person.
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