Where we are today...

[MaryLou13]

Just a quick update - 8 months into hubby's recovery from Hypoxic Brain injury. We religiously use whiteboards/clipboard/diary etc every day. I have seen some improvements in memory. He often says he can not remember things but when I encourage him to stop and think and give him he clue, he is getting better at remembering. He is also getting cleverer at answering me..'what did you have for tea at your mums?' = 'food', 'where am I going?' (I always check he know if I have to pop out) ='well if you dont know that we are in trouble!'.

Lots of insight seems to have been gained lately, along with the tears that come with that.

Home rehab is ok, although I have had to go back to work full time (he doesnt understand why, just thinks I can stop working). We have rehab workers who take him to cardiac rehab class twice a week but I am finding on the other days when we have no support he rarely gets off the sofa. I worry about this. I totally get that fatigue is different to the tiredness I feel. It's just, I was determined to be positive from the beginning and I encourage him to get up, get moving and do purposeful jobs and have been the one to get him moving/walking/eating etc right from the start so I dont want him to go to doing nothing.

Do any of you have any tips on how I can help with his get up and go when Im at work? We are trying a clipboard with a few jobs on (dishwasher/sew seeds/check greenhouse/water plants etc) but he then forgets to look at clipboard even if it is on his whiteboard.

His goals around getting back to the gym have also changed. He used to be a bodybuilder, very into health etc, but has lately admitted that he doesnt want to go back to the gym (even though his ot has suggested a different gym/different exercise - no more body building). He has told me he thinks that what made him ill in the first place (he had a cardiac arrest due to a condition he was born with - Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome) but dr has reassured him this was not the case.

We are just both still quite young (IN OUR HEADS!!)...and I am determined we will have a good life....however different it might be. Its sometimes just a bit tricky.....

Anyway, thats where we are so far (Oh...AND! We are Party planning. For his 1 year anniversary. I dont want it to be a sad anniversary so a casual gathering with a few friends and family seems in order.......oooo and then, we are going to surprise everyone by saying our vows again - for his new chapter - the celebrant knows it needs to be short and sweet - as he cant remember us being married) Time to make new memories! Hope everyone is doing ok. Sending much love x x x x

[Ghost-on-point]

Hello, Perhaps a Green item of interest in lounge in immediate view area of your husband could = green writing on board = gardening? Etc? I'm a fellow white boarder / write on outside of cupboards. Windows might be my new try out!!! Yellow glasses perk me up too...

[MaryLou13 in reply to Ghost-on-point]

I write on our mirrors . Never thought of windows

[Hidden]

Hi MaryLou, You are doing much the same as I did when my husband had his bi, keeping the mind working as much as possible. Are you able to ring him whilst you are at work to remind him which jobs to do or has he a phone that could remind him, or could friends and family do the same. Failing that, maybe notes around where he might go, eg the bathroom could have a notice up where he couldn't miss it. Does he make himself a drink, put a note there too. I don't know where you are and how physically able he is. Here we have twice weekly 'health walks' in the town, walking gently for an hour around town. Would he be able to do that if someone went with him? If so, contact the organiser and ask if someone could pick him up and take him. Any exercise will help him and if someone is calling for him he is less likely to want to go.

Hope all goes well.

Jan x

[MaryLou13 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, the walk thing sounds a great idea and notes! Thank you. Hope you are OK x

[Ghost-on-point]

Music, coffee & cat helping in Greenhouse was my good Old days! Herbs Tomatoes, peppers. No Green house or cat at the moment. Perhaps "plant" him in there supervised & that note, idea, is put in location too really remember & know the pleasant vibe of pottering about?

[TaIaV]

Dear MaryLou13,

You sound like a dream-partner for anyone and certainly for a person with a bi! Kudos to you for all that you have accomplished together so far. I will only add that my husband, who has a different health condition, really committed to some healing habits when two new doctors who he really likes, specifically "prescribed them" -- that is, they explicitly told him how many times per week he should be doing certain kinds of exercise and for how long, what he should eat and not eat, what supplements to take, and how many minutes of a brain training computer program to do each day. It made my job much easier. Before, I was the one coaxing and cajoling and, yes, nagging him to go to the gym, etc and that got tiresome for both of us. Have a wonderful anniversary!

[sca2013]

First I'm sorry you and your husband are having to go through this experience. One year is early in creating the new life post BI, speaking as one with a BI. It sounds like you are all in on getting his life as best as it can be. This is fantastic! The gradient of what you are all attempting to do may be a bit too steep for him. Meaning his current abilities may not allow him to do all the things you and he are trying to do in a way that works. I too felt like my pre BI life (doing way too much) caused my cardiac arrest and resulting brain injury, even though the doctors said other medical stuff could be the reason. Anyway I'm a little over 3 years post BI and am just now figuring out my exercise (cardio and weight lifting) may just not be the right kind of exercise program for me. The local brain injury group is sponsoring a Yoga class, that I thought I would never do. I found myself initially feeling quite intimidated at the thought of doing that. Anyway after my first experience with it, I'm thinking yoga may be a better exercise program to replace the old gym workouts. I found when I changed my expectations not trying to do so much I got less frustrated and felt more motivated. While I think I can always do more, the reality is when I do more it takes me a day or days to recover before I can continue progressing. I wish you both the patience and ability to find the progress rate that can work for both of you. Patience for me has been "God give me patience and I want it NOW!" Haha