new here, unsure where to start!: my partner was... - Headway

Headway

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new here, unsure where to start!

trisi profile image
14 Replies

my partner was assaulted and punched in a random attack last May when we were on our way home from a night out. He suffered a severe TBI, subdural hematoma, week in a coma, 6 weeks post traumatic amnesia and is still having out patient rehab now. I have taken so much comfort from reading about other people's experiences (especially Dorset Charlie who manages to combine humour with pathos and is truly inspirational).I really wanted to share some good news as Colin is dealing so well with his 'new' self and is so happy for small things in life nowadays. He can't drive or work yet despite being a highly skilled joiner and builder but he is so grateful for all the love and support he's received, that I feel he is truly a happy man. He has all the typical issues to deal with (brain 'overload', memory problems, short fuse etc) but he is really moving on with life and I am so proud of him. I am not pretending life is a bed of roses and we cope day to day but I just wanted to say that I believe it is possible to have a life which is certainly challenging but ultimately rewarding. Obviously most people have no idea what post brain injury life is like and why would they? I am just so glad that this on line community exists as I think it is a lifeline for many. I have only just joined but have been reading these blogs for months so imagine how many other people are gaining strength from this amazing site! Keep posting everyone x

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trisi profile image
trisi
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14 Replies
TC1979 profile image
TC1979

Welcome. Just monitor for a while, see what everyone else does then chip in, best plan.

iforget profile image
iforget

sorry you need to be here but welcome... Glad to hear you are muddling through. A sense of humour comes in really handy in our experience. Good wishes to you and Colin as you continue on this journey

Lubilu01 profile image
Lubilu01

Good to meet you and hear your positive story, look forward to more x

at-spes-non-fracta profile image
at-spes-non-fracta

Welcome. Well done for finding this site so much sooner than I did. Eighteen years in and "discovered" only last week. The 'new self' reference strikes me as incredibly advanced, again only a recent discovery on my part. Good luck and keep on reading.

cat3 profile image
cat3

Hi, trisi.....lovely to meet you. x

Dorsetcharlie profile image
Dorsetcharlie

Good to hear a positive perspective - can I borrow it for a few days? ;o)

Welcome and thank you for your kind words.

C x

formula profile image
formula

Hello from me !

bikerlifestyle profile image
bikerlifestyle

welcome to the site

Welcome and well done for staying with your partner. My girlfriend took just two weeks to get to know the new me and was off like a long dog. Mind you that was donkey's years ago and I've been happily married for 37 years.............

ricozoe profile image
ricozoe

hi welcome .

karenanne profile image
karenanne

Hi Hun I can totally understand what ur going thru.my partner received his brain injury in same way.totally unprovoked attack on our way home for a taxi.glad your husband has come thru this doing well.my partner had his injury last July and has been home since January.i am finding things very tough as he is totally obsessed with wanting back to driving and his work which was tanker driver.he is at moment going thru major paranoia thinking our son is recording him,temper tantrums and anger has developed badly in last 2 months .i have been called so many nasty names and now jumps back on occasion in mock fear saying just in case I stab or assault him.i know this is not his fault and he cannot help it but is very tough to take on an every day occurrence.and now again the court have adjourned case for 3rd time to which I am main witness in.my main worry now is that my partners temper will go so extreme that he may hurt himself.dont think I could cope with going thru all this again

Billybb profile image
Billybb

Hi Trisi, it sounds like your both doing really well and I wish you all the best. Like you, I have just started using this site last week, whilst feeling a bit down. Its been like a breath of fresh air to me since.

Frustration for getting back to driving and a sensible amount of work is the hardest thing for me. The personal and social life is the easier to deal with and doesn't affect me same as stress of working. Others understanding life with TBI after the first 6 months is difficult, to say the least. You really are a credit to yourself and he is lucky to have your support. Well done and keep it up. x

Pazstan profile image
Pazstan

hello

I totally agree with you that it is still possible to have a good life after brain injury, it is just probably going to be quite a different life. My boyfriend Richard had a stroke on new year's day last year, has a lot of recovery to do, and is a long way from working, but he does make continued improvements (although he doesn't always realise it). I am thankful that he has good carers, meaning I can work, we can still do normal things like go out for dinner, go on holiday, and that I still have my best friend after thinking I was going to lose him. I think I am also lucky that despite annoying the hell out of me sometimes, Richard doesn't have frontal lobe damage, so I really feel for all the people who have to deal with that challenge too. And karenanne reading your post, I really do hope things improve for you. I think that medical professionals often don't instil you with loads of confidence that things will improve, but I do believe that with lots hard work people can learn to get a bit better. So obviously we have to encourage that hard work, because when someone has a brain injury they may want to get better but don't always do their exercises! Tricky, and sorry for rambling!

Paula

pollyanne profile image
pollyanne

welcome

I only discovered the site a few weeks ago as well. It's nice to know that people understand from experience and everyone is a wealth of information in a difficult situation.

Best of luck

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