Hypoxia.

[Lindabuxton]

My husband suffered a cardiac arrest in jan 2017. Now 9 months on he is currently in a brain rehab unit. Progression is good but slow. Physically he is doing well. Walking talking and eating. Main problems are his long term memory and severe cognitive issues. We are trying to encourage home visits. Problem is he sees his rehab room as his "safe house". Wherever we take him he wants to go back all the time. As soon as he walks in his home he gets aggitated and wants to go back all the time. It's so heartbreaking he doesn't want to come home. Any advice or experiences would be welcome. He is 60 years old and we have been married for 38 years. We are such a loving family. Thank you

[Kirk5w7]

Hi Linda, so sorry we meet this way.

Unfortunately as you probably know there are no quick fixes.

I can understand how your husband feels safe in rehab. Everyone he meets there know him and his journey, and they are all rooting for him to do well.

When home, he will realise he is not the person he was and will be mourning internally that person. He will also want to be that person again and it will stress him greatly, so consequently he will prefer to be in that safe place.

I went through a period of being glad to be back in my rehab room after a visit home, but it did pass, so much so I signed myself out. I had improved so much that they wanted me to share with someone else and I couldn't face that it was no longer my safe place, they did me a favour but I was in control you see so I was ready to go home.

Take some professional advice on this, see if there are things that they can suggest you can put in place for him when he is home. It should follow naturally then.

I wish you well on this next stage and be assured that he will just be apprehensivexxx

Janet x

[Lindabuxton in reply to Kirk5w7]

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. Your comments help me understand

[Alibongo60]

Hi Linda, your husband has been through a traumatic experience and is very lucky to survive. He will be aware of that and probably feels safe in the hospital environment knowing he has a better chance should anything happen again.i was only in hospital for three weeks following a bleed on the brain, I had previously been told if my aneurysm ruptured it would be catastrophic, but I survived, from discharge I was very apprehensive, I used to sleep with my mobile switched on, next to me bit daft really because should anything happen, I wouldn't be able to use it. I'm sure your husband will start to relax in time, with a loving family around him. Lots of luck for the future love Alice xx

[Lindabuxton in reply to Alibongo60]

Thanks for taking time to respond.

[cat3]

Hello Linda. I had a bleed on the brain in Dec 2011 and, on my first home visit, I was apprehensive and agitated & couldn't return to the safety of rehab fast enough. The second time was the same, and on the journey home after discharge I couldn't stop crying.

There was a lovely building about half a mile from my hospital bedside window, which had a beautiful design on the brickwork and a flashing warning light for aircraft. It had been something constant, day and night, so as we drove past it & left it behind I felt utterly bereft.

Injury of the brain affects us to the very core. For me, the 'realisation' point after leaving ICU might as well have been the beginning of my life, as nothing prior to it registered.

Being in amongst caring professionals, with the comfort of excellent regular meals and the social comfort we get from therapists, nursing staff, round the clock monitoring and other patients meant for me it was HOME ............the only one which felt real at that time, and for some time afterwards.

Also, nothing was expected of us except a little physio & occupational therapy (even showering/bathing was accompanied). So coming home meant leaving that safe environment behind for good ; pretty traumatising stuff.

Every night for over a year I woke thinking I was still in the ward and, for moments, was distressed that the room was unfamiliar & the window has disappeared. Outwardly, I reconnected with my former life but, subconsciously & emotionally, it took me around 2 years (and still catches me out now and then).

As Janet says, get all the professional help you can for your man. He has a good deal of catching up to do, but a loving family is everything. And please make sure you accept any help offered in getting occasional respite for yourself.

Sorry for the 'Essay' but just wanted to reassure you that others with a BI have similar after- effects, including memory, mobilty and balance issues, loss of inhibition, headaches and emotional lability. These problems are so slow in tailing off that we don't notice improvements 'til looking back.

If you haven't already Linda, please get support from Headway ; the helpline no. is 0808 800 2244 (office hours/free call.

All best wishes to you both, Love Cat x

[Lindabuxton]

Thanks so much. Your comments are really helpful and help me understand. I guess we just have to be patient. X

[Lindabuxton]

Ps I have phoned headway and they were really helpful. I am going along to one of their meetings. Think it would help to talk to other families going through same thing.

[Hhodg]

It’s such a long road but you have to keep being patient. Your husband is making progress so there is no reason that it should not continue over time. The SMART assessors have told me my husband will progress for up to 5 years! After 7 months he is still minimally conscious, all we all have is hope and to keep being patient.

[Lindabuxton in reply to Hhodg]

Thank you and good luck xx

[keeley24]

Headway should be able to offer some help. Sadly there is a lack of help after being released from hospital after BI. I think you need to talk with your husband and try to reassure him he will be safe leaving the rehab room. To start with get him to leave it for a short time and stay close to it in case he needs to get back then gradually get him further from it for longer so he feels he can cope with it. Even if it’s case of just standing outside the door at first it’s a small step in right direction and will help in long term.

[sca2013]

Linda, not only has your husband been through this, but so have you. I know it has got to be very shocking and upsetting for you to see your husband going through this for you and you having to go through all the emotions and upsets for you having to deal with this too. Be sure and take care of your needs too, it will make you better able to deal with all of this. Taking it a day at a time has helped me to deal with my surviving cardiac arrest and brain injury at 62. I'm now 66. I know my wife has been through hell with me. I sure wish there were an easier way to get through it all. Wishing you peace and comfort on the journey. Craig

[Lindabuxton in reply to sca2013]

Thank you for your kind words. My husband does not remember much of our life together. Do you think his memory will improve. He definately knows me and his family.

[sca2013 in reply to Lindabuxton]

Great question. Since everyone is different all I can tell you is what I experienced. There are definitely pieces of my life that are no longer in my accessible memory banks, yet sometimes memories of events, places and things magically appear. I'm not even sure what triggers that happening, but it is great when it happens. Main thing is focus on building your new lives, experiences and hopefully memories. Short term memory has been a challenge for me. One of the things I find seems to lock things into the memory now days is the more experiences and senses involved seems to help me connect the memory for future recall.

[Lindabuxton in reply to sca2013]

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. This gives me hope for the future. Good luck

[All123]

Hi guys and sorri to hear about the people suffered how long were you without oxygen for guys