At the doctor (Again): youtu.be/YVIQ3tyWzWE - Headway
At the doctor (Again)
Oh dear 
some days are definitely harder than others. I confess to accepting the kind offer of counselling some time ago, but fell out with the counsellor by being rather honest about things ....Ooops. It was early days after the accident and counselling probably wasn't the right kind of treatment at the time. Maybe it would be worth a try if they can send you to see someone who has head injury counselling experinec?
Oh dear... I am sorry you seem to have had so many negative experiences which have clearly influenced how you feel about the medical and counselling professions. It can't be any fun living with so much negativity
I'm not at all negative, I'm sorry it came across that way. What I was trying to say is that without the help of counselling and the NHS in general, I've still managed to find acceptance and happiness. It can be done and frankly, 22 years ago I didn't have any choice.
Seriously, I'm not negative, I'm fine
Glad to hear it 
It was uncomfortable to think of having to deal with that much negativity. Normally your videos have a sense of gentle humour but to me at least this one did not.
It was just a rant, I wont deny it. We all have those days 
Ah see that is where the amnesia comes in handy... I rarely get stressed enough to need to rant because nothing sticks around long enough to bother me after the event... I suppose technically I could get retrospectively ranty when I read about stuff that irked me at a later date (because my life has to be documented daily so I have a point of reference) but because when I read it later it has no real connection to me, that tends not to happen... Oh Lucky me ROFLMAO (intentional txt spk, sorry )
I've been through years of counselling, experts, doctors etc for the last 17 years - im thankfully quite in tune as to the personality I don't clash with...and those who are easy to twist to how it will help me to chat... chatting to a stranger I can't dis the benefit, it helps me look at life and put into perspective - and sometimes points out and makes me feel good about how much I've accomplished! But only with the right person, obviously also definitely folk I pay for too not NHS... I'm currently chatting to a CBT, and it is literally chatting not CBT at all, but we gel and I benefit every week/couple of weeks I go and chat. Good luck, and who knows next time you feel to try it hopefully your clearer as to what you need yourself... hope this helps! Katy xx
Hi Katy, I'm fine, honestly. I don't feel the need for counselling, never have. My film was just a rant at the ineptitude of the doctors and specialists I've seen really.
It's funny how they seem to know everything, and spout total b*** a bit similar to a midwife when having a child - they're the ones saying all kids are different but if yours isn't by the book then it's wrong! Self help 
It's beyond frustrating, isn't it? I know we have access to healthcare that's free at point of use in the UK, but it's SO fragmented sometimes, I'm on a mission to see if I can collect a sticker for every department across two different hospitals. Brains are awkward buggers. If I'd broken my toe, I'd most likely be referred to a foot-doctor, and then, if I was bearing my weight differently on the broken foot, and that led to ankle/knee/hip/back pain, the foot-doctor might refer onto physiotherapy... or not.
The multi-systemic after-effects of a brain injury take some explaining to 'outsiders', that there's no telling when our brains are going to decide to go on a tea-break, or throw up some random 'other' symptom. My last manager was practical "How do you cope?" "I just do, what's the alternative?" My new manager is not at all practical, and thinks I should watch telly (Which really messes with my eyes.), and eat cake. (Which causes some pretty horrific gastric issues, that I won't mention, because I'm a lady and that...) That's not as out-of-context as it seems, my new manager is the 'Wellbeing Lead' at work, and a trained counsellor. I mostly give her short answers, because there isn't a 'have a paracetamol and a rest' cure for the day-to-day stuff that's our new normal after a brain injury.
I know for an absolute fact that I've effectively painted myself into a corner, by self-managing so far, but the RIGHT support isn't out there. Rehab? Two visits, and "You're doing really well, there's not a lot I can give you that you're not already doing!" Neuro-psych? "There aren't really any other strategies I can share with you that you're not already implementing." Consultant Neurosurgeon? I'm still awaiting the results from the scan at the back end of September, he's written to my GP, but not to me, and his secretary, when chased, said THAT letter was only for the medics, not for me... My GPs are a mixed bag, there's Dr "When was your 'bleed', again?", Dr "I'm not going to write you a sick-note for that!", and Dr "I'm sure you'd look FINE in a mini-skirt." (Don't ask, I'm sure the poor sods get cabin-fever, stuck in their offices, while a conveyor-belt of miscellaneous float through.)
Something needs to be done in terms of awareness-raising, and cohesion between the various medical departments. There aren't enough advocacy services available, and some of us are either being declined services, or misplaced within the various systems, because we don't fit neatly into one box or another. (Two different ophthalmology appointments inside a month, at different hospitals, BOTH of which clashed with other medical appointments, and I'm biting my tongue, like a good girl, and not screaming "There is nothing STRUCTURALLY wrong with my eyes, it says so, there, on the letter from my optician!") That's just me venting, I'm re-scheduling various appointments, and trying very hard not to get snippy with receptionists and secretaries when I can't physically be in two places at the same time. (I'm good, but I'm not THAT good.)
I completely empathise with you, BaronC , that we really do need people who have 'been there', because, as it stands, we're all effectively playing out those 'choose your own adventure' stories, with brain damage, and some days, turning to page 57 is harder than others.
You truly are talking my language, almost word for word! A lot of people seem to assume I'm negative in my outlook and having trouble coming to terms with things. I'm really not, I'm 100% happy with where I am in my life and perfectly happy with how I got there. It's not a problem, it really isn't.
Oh, and gastric problems are clearly common in our brain injured world
We work with what we have, Andy, because that's all we can do. It is easy to see how being open about it could be perceived as negativity, but, the top and bottom of it is that some days are just more crap than others.
It helps being able to post on here, and generally getting a resounding "Me too!", rather than a patronising "Have you tried 'mindful breathing'/yoga/making lists..." We're all different, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach. I appreciate that uninjured parties aren't deliberately being insensitive, that they don't mean to be offensive with the platitudes they trot out, but it's sometimes VERY hard not to snap. (Like NOT poking the HR-bloke in the eye when he said "Oh, you mustn't think about THAT!")
I've never been Mary Poppins, but I do try to be helpful where I can. (Then I scuttle off and hide in my corner again, like a big, gruesome, ginger spider.)
A big gruesome ginger spider, I like that I'm trying to think of a simile for myself, but not sure I can A prize goes to the wining entry...
Totally agree with your words . aftercare is appalling really . and your out the hospital with nothing . ...no help and ive winged it to be honest looking after my hubby . I read alot on what to expect . so I'm marks councillor with mo experience I'm just his wife .
No neuro phycologist available in cumbria . .....well you don't say .
He may say hurtful things sometimes that's not his fault . but your so right doctors don't have a clue . ...and that's so very wrong . xx
Sad thing is i can't see it getting any better so we just crack on . learning as you go along . There's times i could punch marks doctor at times . mark is placid but im not . I've fought like I've never fought before and that's how it'll be 👍💪💪💪
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