So my dad came home today which is great but he's so quiet. Not that he was the greatest conversationalist before the SAH but he was more chatty. I've asked if he's ok and he says yes. He's also aware he's more quiet?
Was anyone else like this? Any advice? Thanks in advance.
Hi yojo
Please don't be surprised that your dad is quiet. The sheer effort to say yes or no can be exhausting.
Rest rest and more rest for a while and help him decide what's most important and look for ways to help him work on that.
Love n hugs
Xoxo
Hi Yojo, yes I'm like that. Conversation is very tiring believe it or not. My husband and I can sit for hours and not converse now, it doesn't mean I'm unhappy or needing to be engaged in anything. Believe me if I want anything I will make it known.
Just make sure your dad has anything he requires to stimulate him if and when he wants it.
Janet x
I was allowed a day home to see how I coped after 2 months in hospital and, though I felt a bit mean and sneaky, I chose not to tell anyone apart from my pal who accompanied me. I also refused hospital visits from well-meaning friends as I found the social side of things an ordeal.
And when my son collected me from the ward on my final night we drove around in the dark for a while with just a CD playing low after I was overcome with an unexpected tearful episode.
It can be quite challenging emotionally saying goodbye to that safe place and to staff who've become more familiar to us than our own families.
Leaving behind all those reassuring images and the special regime of care, then seeing our home again but through fresh eyes, can be pretty disorientating and needs time for adjustment.
Small steps Yojo ; I hope your dad will settle back into a familiar routine before too long. Best wishes, Cat x
Hi Cat
He did two visits at the weekend to my house as he's staying with me until he feels ready to return home, He was fine during the visits. Or seemed fine.
I know its small steps but this is so daunting for me. I feel like I'm prompting him to do thing eg do you want a drink. You best go to bed it's been a long day for you (he'd still be watching TV now if I hadn't of said lol). It may just be because I'm being over cautious because of what's happened.
He's dojng remarkably well and we are so fortunate. He's even been playing with the grandkids. I think I'll get a better picture of how he is as the week progresses and he adjusts to life outside of the hospital.
Thanks for your reply .
Xx
One other thing I keep expecting him to be really tired from all the info I've read. I brought him home from hospital at 4. He didn't go to bed until 1:30am, despite me still asking does he want a little sleep. It puzzles me after what he's been through and what I've read on the after effects of an SAH. He's proving to be a miracle 😉
Hi ,
I've been home 3 months now and I don't sleep for long periods maybe 3/4 hours a night I've found when I feel tired I can just sit quiet for a while and that rechargers my batteries
Tracey
That's interesting Yojo, because since my BI I've changed my sleep pattern and never turn out the light 'til 2am. I sleep better too, and wake around 9-10am. It doesn't sit well with other people's lifestyles, but it works for me and I have no one but myself to consider.
So if your dad finds he's happiest being a 'night owl', that might just be his new persona and not a cause for concern. But I agree that he'd be advised to maintain a definite routine, whatever suits him best, as this can stave off confusion & depression.
I'm so glad to hear things have started off well Yojo ; please let us know how your dad copes as he settles further into a routine, and when he returns to his own home.
All good wishes, Cat xx
Disclaimer: I didn't have a SAH. But brain stuff often has similarities.
I find that I have serious trouble with language. There are so many steps - coming up with an idea, thinking of the words for it, putting sentences together and then the actual mouth movements. Obviously I can't see into my brain, but it seems like things are going wrong at every step, and the end result is either a blank mind or some silly random thought that I keep to myself to avoid looking stupid. 
Lia
Hello Yojo, and welcome.
We're all different, and I can only speak from my own experience, but I know I was 'quiet' when I first came out of hospital, too, as others have said, sometimes responding takes a lot of processing. In my personal experience, the over-stimulus was a big part of it, having come from the cool-clean-clinical environment of the hospital, to the noisy-messy house that nobody had thought to straighten-up while I was in hospital. The TV was too loud, the lights were too bright, everything smelled 'funny', and I didn't have the energy to respond to people asking me if I wanted a cup of tea, or to walk the dog.
With regard to the tiredness, we experience that differently, too, I'm 18 months post-SAH, and my sleep-cycle is still whacked, I'm usually in bed for 9pm, which knocks-on to me waking between 3 and 4am, and I can't seem to re-set it. (She says, off work for the summer, because I work in a school, knowing perfectly well I'll over-sleep as soon as we hit September...)
It's tough going at first, because everything will raise questions about is-this-normal, and if your Dad isn't communicating, you're probably feeling a bit isolated. This forum is brilliant, and, even if we can't absolutely 'answer' questions, we're always willing to share experiences, and reassure you that you're not on your own.
Hello Yojo
Just want to reassure you that your dad is responding to his new "situation" in much the same way as a lot of us here seemed to have responded when they get to go home. Please don't worry about your dad too much, he is most likely just processing his new world.
AS others have said - oops I have completely lost my train of thought - sorry. This may be a good example of where your dad is, although we are all different. I now see the world around me in a completely different way prior to my illness. I don,t think in the same way and I often forget what I am thinking in the space of minutes, which is very frustrating.
When I became aware of these changes in me I was actually quite angry with myself as well as very often confused. I felt I was me but I wasn't,. all at the same time. Quite weird really.
I also found it very difficult to explain how I was feeling and reacting to life in general to my nearest and dearest, because i was so confused about who I was and the changes in me.
I have now and still am learning to be patient with myself but this site is a real tonic in supporting those of us who have been ill and to those who love us and do their best to support us- a big Welcome to you.
Clare
Breaking point
Things getting too much now 
The countdown
Couple of things
How do I help him?
