Things getting too much now : Well I don't know who... - Headway

Headway
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Things getting too much now

janey61
janey61

Well I don't know who to turn to ...my son 22 came for a visit today ..

As my .partner was at mine and last time my son flipped as oh dared to cheer at the football ..I took printer etc to mums 87, where he spends first part of his visit ..when I gave him the choice ..of where to spend his time he began to lose it ..eventually getting so angry he sat on me , slammed me against a wall hurting my head and shoulder already sore from Doing stuff for him last week , and stole my phone so I could not text my partner ..I have tried everything ..he just thinks I am a selfish bitch ..far from it I bend over backwards for him .....am devastated ...his care company are in crisis ..he is moving in a week and it seems I am the only person he can rely on bit he treats me like crap ...help am at a loss 😖

He won't accept he needs help , sees me as a bad mum and I need to be his servant 24/7 and don't deserve a life , I have m.e , depression and anxiety and my health is really suffering now ..

All the support the care company said in a meeting they were offering him hasn't happened and I think he's hounded the manager off sick as he asp caused her of assault , reported her to police and there is a safeguarding on her ...he pushes everyone away it's all getting too much for me again ...

After the attack , he expects me to carry on as normal ...as if it never happened ..

8 Replies
oldestnewest

Oops. Well there is being there for your son, but not as a whipping boy. It is hard though as you are his Mother and want to help him and do your bit. Who does he listen to and who can handle him, so to speak.

Hidden
Hidden

Maybe you need to back off and do less for him. Until he learns to treat you with respect, try not being there for him. If he doesn't learn to control his aggression he could finish up being committed and that would help no-one. Can you get a pepper spray or something similar to carry with you. If he attacks you, spray him with it. I had a very similar thing happen to me - unfortunately when they are in a rage, it is very hard to reason with someone.

janey61
janey61 in reply to Hidden

Thankyou yes I do try and back off but he calls so many times a day ..and if I don't answer I get more abuse or the sad son lonely and needy ..also he is moving in a week and the care company said they were supporting him , they are not , ringing the social worker tomorrow ,.

Craigson
Craigson in reply to janey61

I totally agree you have too back off it’s. So hard I no I had the exact same issues with my son it’s very scary it was that bad I reported him too the police we didn’t speak for a year as I wouldn’t put up with it any more it was the hardest thing I ever had too do it broke my heart but it worked he never went for me again it just took for me to say no your behaviour is unacceptable and carry through with it my son was a very angry boy and he knew I would always love him no matter what but I stood my ground got police involved he soon got the message that I had had enough good luck and take care janey

janey61
janey61 in reply to Craigson

Sorry to hear Dan should have learned as he was removed.from my house at 15...sectioned ...but he always see it's someone else's fault ...I will try and back off more ..hope.things better now for.you

Craigson
Craigson in reply to janey61

Oh things got a lot better but I took for me too say my sons behaviour was unacceptable and a year down the line he totally understood that I would always totally love him but he couldn’t behave like that towers myself and I had his younger brother too think about he got put in care for my safety and his brothers it did help him in the long run we have a loving relationship now and I’m so proud of him but I would not have been doing the boy a favour if I didn’t take the action I took broke my heart but it worked good luck

He listens to me. And his Gran but never learns .

you do realise you can report your son to the police for assault?

i too have a brain injury, but im on meds to control my aggression, because it was getting too much for my wife coming home from work wondering if id floored someone.

she broke down at the docs and i was referred to the psychiatrist, who i still see 6 years on.

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