I just don't know what to do anymore & feel like I'm at breaking point, I can't even describe how low I feel right now. I have 3 children 4,7 & 11 & im desperately trying to hold things together for everyone. My husband fell down some stairs on the 1st oct 2016 8 months ago & had a blood clot the size of a fist removed from his brain, he had 45 staples & was in hospital for 5weeks. He's progressed quite well all in all. His speech is fine, he walks fine & for anyone to look at him or chat to him for an hour they would think there was nothing wrong. Jesus it does annoy me & I know it's not there fault cuz they don't understand brain injuries but it makes my job harder. He's so up & down. Changes his mind as quick as he made it & thinks I'm telling him wot to do all the time. He's desperate to go bk to work but has no license & wants to sell the house & move away cuz he feels stuck in are house. We have quite a bit of equity sat in are house & he wants to pull that out to start again & rent somewhere. However I don't feel the time is right at the minute & have said to him that we need to wait a few more months & get bk on are feet 1st. His answer to this was I want a divorce cause I'm going & I can't stay here anymore, I know he's not thinking straight & is winding himself up(it's like a vicious circle)😪😪
He won't speak to me about it anymore & says he wished he'd of died, I'm scared he'll do something stupid cuz he's so low. I just don't know wot to do for him anymore to help him? I've told him that I think he's all over the place & not thinking straight but he just won't listen. Has anyone else had a similar issue or anyone got any advice they can throw my way as I have completely hit a brick wall with him.
I think many of us caring for those with a brain injury have been just where you are. It is dreadful and soul destroying. Firstly, have you chatted to the people at Headway? They are very experienced at this and can often think of things you can do. Next, can you get him back to his doctor, it is possible that he needs some medication to stop him being so depressed and agitated.
In brain injury terms, 8 months is not all that long and there is probably still a certain amount of healing going on. It is also frustrating for him as his life also has changed and he probably no longer feels in charge of his life.
I am in touch with 'Care for the Carers' and they are also excellent at help. They can probably also arrange counselling for you to teach you some coping strategies. Their focus is on finding things to help the carer and lets face it, if you can get some help it will also help him.
I am afraid that many marriages do not survive a bi and it must be so hard for you with young children to deal with too. Please keep posting on here, you can say anything here and everyone will do their best to help. Don't feel you are alone
Wishing you the strength to cope with this new life you have been given without anyone asking if you want it. Do remember to look after yourself, your children need you.
Sending you love and sympathy.
Jan
Thankyou so much for your reply, he's already on anti depressants as he was on them b4 his accident. I will definitely look into all the options you have given me as I feel anything could help right now. I know it's still early days but he thinks he's completely fine which doesn't help at all. I'm not 100% it's the medication I think a lot of it is down to frustration. He wants to provide for his family but he needs to be chilling a bit more. Before his accident he ran his own construction company which sadly we have had to fold due to everything. Thanks again your comments were very kind & have already made me feel a little better x
Stacey, sometimes a bi is a different kind of wake up call... I have heard what you said here...
Sometimes people struggle the most because of their own expectations of themselves..
(Before and exaggerated after)
There are a few very important things to consider and get your head around and one of these is beliefs. Not what is commonly considered or talked about but hugely important....
Beautiful and wise reply Jan...