I'm not sure how much longer i can cope with the mixed feelings I'm having these last few months especially. 😢
Although mark is doing well physically. He's back at work 2 days a week and has accomplished his 18 holes of golf numerous times. I can't get past the fact he's totally different to the outside world than he is with me and our daughters.
He's obsessed with money to the point it's mean. I work full time and have to justify everything. I booked a spa day for me and my daughter for her birthday and he complained there was no money in the bank. I cried all night as it's not the only time. I only wanted something to look forward to.
I feel like I'm just here. I have no real friends and my confidence is at an all time low. He just doesn't notice me and i cannot live the rest of my life like this. Does he resent us? Because I've literally reached the end of the line. I can't keep giving and giving and getting nothing back it's gotme downfor long enough.
Then the guilt kicks in......its not his fault he fell from a ladder. But its not my fault either. He does not see any further than his own nose. I'm sorry if i sound horrible but i don't know how to cope. No one knows what goes on behind 4 walls. 😢