Even Sports Direct are better than Dunelm

Sports Direct have just published the review I did of their trainers :)

At first I was afraid

I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live

Without trainers that had died

But then I spent so many nights

Thinking how to right the wrong

And I grew strong

And I learned how to lace through the tongue

And so I went back

To a familiar place

I just walked in to find footwear here

Trainers fit to run a race

I should have bought some proper socks

I should have seen what else I could see

If I had known for just one second

My back would no longer bother me

I'll go on now go walk out the door

Just turn around now

I can't afford to spend anymore

The shoes are great and it pains me to say goodbye

Don't think I'll tumble

Sure I wont twist my ankle and cry

Oh no, not I

I will survive

Oh as long as I know how to walk

I know I'll please my wife

Who else would I stroll with

The woman with whom I live

And I'll survive

The trainers make me alive

32 Replies

  • Hi Baron.

    One question ......can you download this track ?

  • It's a question of royalties... 


  • Things not good here at the mo but you have managed to get me to break out with a little grin in amongst all the stresses keeping me miserable! Could you sing it to me please cos that might even get a little chuckle?!!  You have an amazing ability with words Andy.

  • Thanks you! Pleased to have cheered you a little. Hope things improve for you soon 

  • Omg - I have just had such a bad morning and I'm on the way to a hosp apt in a minute......this cheered me up sooooo much and made me laugh. Thank you so much - you're an inspiration. There's obviously light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully not a train coming) . Well done - so funny :) 

  • Aw, thanks Elenor, keep smiling! Good luck at hospital


  • When daily woes disturb our day

    Along you come to have your say

    With tales of shoes and Sports Direct

    To make us smile and reconnect

    With joy and sheer absurdity

    And bring us back to sanity.     

        :D    xx

  • Niiiice! :)

    There once was a lady called Cat

    The Headway webpage was where she was at

    She was trying to knock bandy, a poor chap named Andy

    Not like this, but just like that!

  • No not like that but like this

    With a couple of smiles and a kiss...................

      :-/    ;-)    x

  • Floozy :) 

  •     :p

  • Ah, you loves me really :)

  • Today I bought two pairs of shoes at forty pounds a throw

    They're comfy and trendy and wonderf'ly  bendy

    ............Just thought I'd like you to know.

    ..........................True story BTW.     :o   

  • This thread has gone completely up the wall so I'm off to plant my bedding plants.

    And yes, I do loves you really !!    xx

  • Two pairs of shoes? That sounds rather nice

    Sorry for the delay, I've just made spicy chicken fried rice

    Another true story, BTW


  • What's in the sauce ?  I'm famished now after all that planting.    x

  • Dash of soy sauce, splash of olive oil, a spoonful of honey, a hint of chili and a clove of garlic...


  • That simple ? I've been using supermarket sauces and they're not good. I'll try this next time. x

  • Seriously, it's lovely. Use the olive oil and soy as the base, plenty of honey. Simmer gently and add whatever spices you fancy really. Add milk if required to make it go further, a pinch of cornflour to thicken if you fancy. Job done.

    Writer/hairdresser/builder/chef/brain damaged idiot :)


  • OK thanks Andy ; that's dinner sorted for tonight !

    Looking at the ingredients on jars of sauce, there's a whole myriad of different herbs & spices. But it's the simple recipes which the experts use, and I suspect they're the best. x

  • Report back when you've had a little taste...

    As I said about something else earlier in this thread, it's a question of royalties :)

  • I shall deny everything ! :x

  • It's true, the artists never get their fair share :)

  • OK.................do you accept PayPal ?

  • Cash, cheques, Paypal, 'favours'

  • LOL ! A timeless classic, remastered : )) x

  • I like to think so :)

  • You could be, no scratch that, you ARE the next Wierd Al Jankovitch. And all our very own too!

  • You doth flatter me so :)

  • Hahahahaa....Run Andy Run(**,)

  • Always! :)

  • Ha ha loving the banter on this thread

    Makes me realise humour is not dead

    Poetic works keeping us alive

    Go thrive go thrive go thrive


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