Turned a Corner.

[MXman]

Hi All,

I wanted to share with you all about the last fe days and how I'm sure iv turned a corner. My accident happened on May the 16th this year and that was the day my life changed and I have mentioned this before it hurt. I had a few cuts and bruises but no real physical damage but the 3 contusions on my frontal lobe were there. It would have been easier if id had a 10 inch scar down the front of my face then others would understand, even my immediate family.

I have really struggled with my thinking since and its taken its toll on me in the fact that I'm a builder with a team of 4 and we build large 2 storey extension from start to finish doing everything, yes have another 10 subcontractors who work for me too so all in all a fantastic team who after the accident ran the job we were working on in Maresfield east sussex. Im a carpenter and a pretty good one at that but carpentry uses a lot of frontal lobe brain power which in the early stages took me out of the game by 12 noon and the occasional, no regular nap by 1:00. It all ran ok but it was hell for me as I kept fighting the How did out happen and what happened saga.

It was you guys on here that really helped me no I mean rally helped me to understand what happened to me even from the early stages of your brain didn't record the information so how could you retrieve it to helping me understand my thinking, emotions and feelings (Humble moment). I felt I had to detach from my family or anyone that couldn't understand me and it worked. I haven't spoke to my farther the kindest man any one could have as a farther for 3 months since he sent me an e mail that made me feel like shite and I then decided I wasn't going to speak to him any more. Wow what a decision made by a Bi suffer, so quick to judge and thats how I was quick to judge and quick to decide how it was for me and if it effected me then you were out, I just couldn't handle emotion and that sort of thinking.

Im sure its the brain preparing itself and as you guys and gals have taught me the emotion and other types of processes take time and repair at different rates are not going to go back the same so iv learnt that I was version 1 (Thanks Roger) I'm now version 3 putting my life back together and re establishing relationships with people I had to detach from. God I feel so much better. I spoke to my mu yesterday twice for and hour and really really talked to her about Bi and other stuff and have arranged to meet my dad and explain to him my thinking and feelings around this stuff which he will understand.( I hope) I feel its my duty to explain to them why I have been so distant in the last 12 weeks or more and re establish the family back together.

When you leave hospital there is no warning or conversation about what you may or may not feel and I have got my life back from the knowledge gained on this forum and Headway.

I truly wanted to thank you all for the knowledge to be able to do this.

Just one other thing as we are talking about corners:

The teacher asked me to draw a square so I drew a circle, he said you idiot go and stand in the corner, I said wheres that...??

Ha ha

Have a fantastic Friday people and God Bless. XX N

[Kirk5w7]

Well done you, it's important to put yourself first to aid that recovery. Not everyone will understand but this is your life and so important.

I had written a much longer reply but lost it! I'm clever at that so I'll leave it there now for today.

Really pleased you've come so far.

Best wishes Janet xx

[razyheath43 in reply to Kirk5w7]

yay! keep going it does get better,honest so glad to read that xx

[RogerCMerriman]

Glad it's all coming together, hope you have a good friday/weekend.

[Sarahbeck]

Aww good luck in ur recovery

The times i have said I wish it was different n I had a scar down my face so people could see the change I feel! XXXX

[RogerCMerriman in reply to Sarahbeck]

I'm sure it's been well document the invisible and the stress it causes.

Did read it but can't remeber where!

I remeber my wife recounting telling some colleagues that if it was a broken arm you could see it, but it's a broken skull and the damage to the brain as well. Which took me a good 6 months to not be in denial about.

[cat3]

As Janet said, we need to attend to ourselves first & foremost after a bi, then worry about damaged relationships later, when we're more able.

So pleased to hear you're patching things up with your dad ; I'm sure it'll be a great relief to everyone concerned.

Hope all goes well Nick. xx

[MXman in reply to cat3]

Its so strange cat, I feel now iv lost a good 6 months of love for my family and I need to make up for it. Im convinced that the new and improved version of Nick will be a much better person. XX N

[cat3 in reply to MXman]

xx

[Broken_Doll]

Hi Nick,

Wow, it sounds like you've hit a milestone, especially when it comes to understanding your own emotions etc since brain injury. I understand a lot of the things you said, I struggle with my emotions 18 months on... Get angry with people or have minimal feelings of remorse and feel generally quite numb.. Still a way to go, but I'm sure I'll get there!

Keep doing what you are doing

Emma

[MXman in reply to Broken_Doll]

Thank you Emma. Its taken some time and I'm a work in progress but I'm getting there.

[Gaia_rising]

It's odd, all these stages we go through, how we peak, and trough. I'm genuinely glad that you're happy- you and I are on similar time-lines, and sometimes it helps me, when I'm low, to see that you're climbing.

Adjusting, and drawing a circle. I deliberately bake pies in a square tin, to amuse my maths-minded son, pies are round, but pi r square...

[MXman]

Trouble is I didn't know it would come this emotion corner. Really strange how it happened too.

We have just finished a large project locally and this week iv been snagging there just finishing last things off and the clients are lovely but the woman has got cancer and she was diagnosed when we were half way into the job we've been there for 40 weeks. We were chatting on Wednesday about the project and how we have found solutions to a few problems that came up in the build and the problems we had with the windows and doors and the delay it caused, she was fine and then just broke down while she was talking about the pressures of the project and her cancer, she's starting he course of chemotherapy next Thursday, and then I just said do you want a hug? she looked up and I just gave her a hug.

More was said in those 3 seconds than I could ever say in words and it really made me think of my Dad. She felt a lot better and she gave me back my spirit which was knocked out of me on May the 16th. It suddenly accused to me that Love and family is more important than anything. XX

[Nutkin33]

Well done. It's really great that you are at the acceptance stage. I'm so glad you have now spoken with your family.

You are doing very well.

😊😉

[randomphantoms]

Hi MX

It is so good to hear that now the project is finished you are able to devote your energy to other things.

Wishing you and the family a smooth and progressively better journey from here on.

Lovenhugs

Xoxo

[MXman in reply to randomphantoms]

Thanks Random, Another large project started but hopefully I won't let my damaged brain take over. Have a fantastic weekend. XX N

[MXman]

Spoke to my Dad today after 3 months and what a fantastic feeling that was. Another step forward in the recovery of Bi. XX