So yesterday my dad got his driving licence back - now although I am pleased he has got some more independence back and am not doubting his ability to drive as such , I do have serious concerns with his ability to deal with situations , his frontal lobe injury has made him even more fiery and quick tempered than pre injury and this is my main worry.
It all feels rather bitter sweet 😕
Hi, this is why I won't drive. I haven't got anger issues but I know my reactions are a lot slower, plus my sight is not 100% anymore. My GP and consultants have told me I'd be fine to drive, but I couldn't do a long drive anymore because of fatigue issues and to be honest it scares me when I see some people getting out of their cars nowadays!!
I think it should be compulsory to take a test again after a head injury before you are allowed back on the road, after all you are in charge of a deadly weapon.
Just my opinion x
Janet
I agree - worryingly his GP is quite aware of his outbursts yet has apparently wrote a letter of rexcomendation
It's just annoying that if anything does go wrong again as a family we will be left to pick up the pieces
I quite agree with you I was given the all clear 6 weeks post stroke to start driving again. All I had to do was raise my arms out in front of me close my eyes and keep arms raised. I was horrified and actually turned to my husband and said he's got to be having a laugh.
Its been over 2 years since the stroke and I still don't feel confident to get back behind the wheel.
Xx
How does he cope with other forms of travel? I assume your worried about road rage?
He becomes very easily agitated with other people on public transport and has had a few outbursts - he's very sensitive to noise and once almost punched someone for crushing a plastic bottle
Possibly the agitation is worse on public transport, the noise, and being bumped around is quite stressful!
I.e. It's possibly that it's better by car. Clearly also possibly not! Was he a calm or not driver before?
Personally I find cycling and driving much easier cognitively that public transport so hopefully he will?
I can sympathise with wanting to punch someone for noise related issues. i am one the many on here who suffer with noise intolerance.
You don't need to have anger issues to want to hit someone! Whistling is my pet hate drives me insane. 😫
My worst trigger is the vacuum cleaner it makes me want to hurt someone my husband warns me when he is going to use it so I can disappear til he's finished.
J
Hi I was worried about my ability to drive following my stroke and got a driving instructor to take me out for an hour to test me. I found one who specialised in assessing people with all sorts of disabilities.
To be honest there are a lot worse drivers than me on the roads.
Perhaps suggest a quick 1 hour lesson and just say your worried that he might get hurt?
I haven't driven for so long now I wouldn't want to drive again I'd be a danger I think
Hi . I had the same worries but also knew the independence driving would give me.
I had to do a medical and physical driving exam before being a lowed to drive.
I no I get road rage...Just like anyone else but being in control of the journey helps me keep in check. It is when things happen and I have no control ie being driven I suffer more from road rage.
It may seem a simple thing but having the control seems to work plus being aware of my anger issues also has helped.
I would advise short journeys first as fatigue is my main enemy in driving. Give him support and help him take small steps.
Pax
I suppose it's similar, in anxiety terms, to seeing your teenage 'child' drive off in his/her own vehicle for the first time. Letting go is so hard when a loved one has been critically ill as the natural response is to cherish their survival and to do everything possible to maintain it.
But for me, after a brain haemorrhage, getting back behind the wheel was a massive relief. I expected to feel some sort of awkwardness after 5 months off the road, but everything felt so natural and instinctive and the only notable difference was that I couldn't stop smiling.
Your post has made me realise something that hadn't occured to me before.................that although I've an uncontrollably short fuse since my BI, it never seems to affect me when I'm driving. And thinking about it, my outbursts are always a result of irritation with stuff I've no control over ......................and driving is something I feel completely in control of, so I sort of take on a while new persona behind the wheel.
So it's possible your dad will be so liberated, and thankful to be back in control of his own space, that any potential road rage won't be any more of an issue than for the rest of us.
My view is that quality of life is everything, and if we're deprived of basic pleasures & freedoms then our survival was for nothing. I know I'm taking the survivor perspective rather than the carer one, but I'm also a mum so have also spent half my life agonising over my kid's various (often hair raising) exploits.
Really hope your worries are unfounded m'dear after what you've already been through. Love Cat x
Hi my partner had a motorbike accident, which resulted in a tbi and only has vision in one eye, although he hasn't finished his recovery yet, when he does, I hope he can still drive. Also, although I wouldn't want him to ride a motorbike again, if he wanted to and was able to (the accident wasn't his fault) then I wouldn't try and stop him. Driving, riding and cycling were some of his pleasures in life. I agree with what Cat said about it being like letting your child go out on their own for the first time. It's hard, but you have to let them live. X
Hi there, I had an injury to my frontal lobe and my family were very unsure about me driving again. But I have taken into consideration that I am more forgetful and a little fiery too, I am aware of my "problems" as I'm sure your dad is too. Have you been the car with him? I'm sure he is fine and hope you can put your own mind to rest.
I had an assessment with RDAC before getting back behind the wheel, although my leg was amputated too so my injuries we're just the brain and was probably the less worrying injury at the time I got behind the wheel.
Google maps on my phone takes me everywhere and I only listen to soft relaxing music on long drives. I stop at service stations if I'm tired and rest and drink lots of water to keep the brain refreshed and vitalised.
xx
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