Just a not so little update

Hi all, not posted for a while although have read your posts( even answered a few ).

Any way not been to good of late. I fell over ( ok nothing new there ) just as I was coming into the house. Left leg decifed to take a rest again without letting me know.

I went to grsb handrail and sort of missed. I watched as my hand slid psst the rail and my left thumb was bent back. The good point in this id it totally distracted me from the ground thst was rushing up to great me.

The ground was so excited to meet me that it decided to remove the air from my lungs. End result was me gasping holding a rather sore hand along with a few more bruises.

I was able to move my hand and thumb so strapped it up and waited to see how it settled.

the first week was ok but then it decided to swell up si tried gp. Oh how I laughed when they said theres a 3 week wait. Oh they were not joking.

So off to a and e to be told I wss wasting their time and should see my gp. Eventually wss seen and told its probably ok go way and see how it goes.

well eventually its better sort of. Swelling went down after another couple of weeks and my grip is painful and weak but hey no pain no gain.

Well that would have been enough but decided to help my wife decorate. BIG mistake ss I cant wallpaper and have no patiance. Result I have a strop and hissy fit and cause more work.

To be serious though I really upset my wife and I dont know why. She akready makes allowances for my short temper and says she undrrstands I dont mean it. I just wish I could stop myself.

Its like my head says stop but my mouth has its own ideas. Will I ever get used to this new me totally. I hate being like this and I know my wife does a., although she wont admit it.

On a good note we got through it and are once again its us against the world together. If anyone has any ways to help with these outburst I am all ears. Yes I have been to anger management before it is suggested. I was even worse trust me.

Well thats enough for now.

Pax

8 Replies

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  • Hi Paxo. I can empathise with you with the falling and injuring/hurting various bits as I do that too. The most impressive result was my knee swollen the size of a tennis ball and the extensive bruising from above knee to my foot!! Have bent fingers and wrists back but so far not snapped anything ...... But I guess that will happen sometime. I also exhibit a 'strop and hissy fit' when my decreased ability means I can't do things. Upsettingly it is mostly my son that is subjected to my raging although I do my upmost not to direct it at him. But his does experienced me as a deranged volcanic mum!! Like you I don't know how to manage myself.

  • Hi Pax

    Am I wrong or is that your second fall recently? I am worried for you.

    Is there anything else other than your bi that is making things worse?

    As for hissy fits and temper tantrums don't get me started........mine are so much worse when people (nearest and dearest) just don't listen.

    Had to up my meds to help me cope with the extra demands of an elderly and frail relative. Partner asked a few questions last night and we discussed them yet this morning ,after a poor night he asks again and I flip.

    Mindfulness is good but have not managed to take a step back before exploding.

    Sending you and your dearly beloved lots of love and hugs

    Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  • Hi Random.

    If I am honest its quite a few more than twice recently.

    It is part of my bi as I have limited feeling in my left foot and leg. Gets worse with tirednessand I have been pushing lately. My own fault of wanting to be productive and useful and sod what happens.

    I know its the wrong thing at times and I would not advise anyone to do the same.

    It is the flaring anger that catches me out at times. Think if I am honest I am a little scared I will blow up once to often and I know everyone has a limit and dread my wife reaching it.

    Just feeling sorry for myself really , which strangely is a good sign. It means I am starting to care what others think and not sinking into my own worries. Strange but true , its all part of my up and down life...who needs Alton towers.

    Thanks for your concern , hope you are well.

    Pax.

  • Hi Pax

    Have you had any input from OT?

    I know it sounds naff but my saviour is the timetable my OT helped me set up.

    Each day has one task and a period of doing more pleasant things. Doing my best to stick to the plan I have achieved a good few things this year.

    Sorry started rambling but what I was trying to say was don't judge yourself by what you think you should be able to do but be kind to yourself and really enjoy what you have been able to do.

    Hoping this makes sense.

    Lovenhugs

    Xoxo

  • Actually makes perfect sense Random. Its finding your limit and trying to stick to it.

    Had OT many years ago and helped me set up a routine and ways to manage my day.

    Unfortunately when things seem to be going great I tend to push a bit further until I reachy limit. The problem being I forget to stop.

    Then fatigue then leads to more problems with mobility and mood. You would think I would have learnt by now but no. I think the word is stubborn ...... well thats the most printable one for me.

    Like I said I am just having a moan. Also like I said perversely its a sign I am back on track. Yep I know I am strange but why be normal its boring.

    Love this forum ....feel better already.

    Pax xx

  • When things have been going really well for a while I add something to the timetable. Just 10 or 15 minutes of something. And see what happens.........

    It's all a learning process. Some stuff has been able to stay and some has had to be ditched in double quick time.

    Glad you're feeling better.

    Lovenhugs

    Xoxo

  • Thanks feeling better now and getting back into routine.

    No doubt I will repeat process in a few months but hey keeps life interesting.

    Pax xx

  • Hi Paxo,

    Loved your descriptive storey and iv had a few myself. Hope your ok though and not pushing yourself to hard.

    My double is the same but I don't have angry outbursts just get really frustrated with people especially when I'm talking to them, have to pause and start again some days. I find conversations hard work some times and then as iv said before people think I'm rude.

    My wife too is a saint she put up with my moods and funny outbursts then as you said we are we are then against the world. Partners have to put up with a lot insure as we are not the easiest people to live with.

    Truly hope you don't fall again and have a great evening. N

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