A bit frustrated and feeling somewhat defeated. Put in plenty of effort but question sometimes, like today, if it is really worth it. Do I feel lucky to have survived? Hell no, in fact today I'm feeling really angry that I'm having to live like this. I realize at this point I am alive so its really not a choice of being dead or alive, its about how I am choosing to experience my life. I feel sorry for those around me who have to deal with me. Just needed to vent. Hope everyone else's day is going well though.