I want to be Alone ... not Marlene Dietrich ...

[trishy63]

I've noticed very recently that when I see no-one, I am very happy and content. I live in the country so spend the day listening to birdsong and generally dithering about, doing nothing in particular. But .. as soon as someone comes in to help, and I have to listen and interact to their 'noise', even if they are cooking/reminding me to do stuff etc. I am left feeling inadequate and irritated and tired. I really DO want to be alone, but they have me down as Not doing so good when I just lock the door and keep em all out. Anyone else feel this way, am I just anti-social, or is it (yet another) symptom of TBI.

[Hidden]

Totally

[Kirk5w7]

I'm just the same, so much better when left to my own devices, I get so tired interacting with others, dealing with their noise as you put it. I've got my son home from uni until September now so no quiet days for some time, and when my husband decides to work from home!

We're not ungrateful, just a lot for injured brains to deal with.

Janet x

[steve55]

hi trishy firstly very sorry to hear about your husbands passing , so what im going to say to you, may be a bit difficult.

i had a a stroke nearly 41/2yrs and different behaviours crept up on me......mood swings , aggression , noise intollerance.

my wifes at work she ll be home about 6 we ll sit down for dinner at about 7and ill retire to my study till 10 she usually retires at 1030.

my favourite time is the weekend but being sensitive thats it .

welcome to the family and please find your nearest headway group

steve

[aqua4]

Hi trishy, same here. K

[gabimou]

Same here especially at work and has time as gone on I don't interact with many nowadays listening to them gossip or moaning really irritates the hell out of me,and my brain to mouth filter doesn't help.....but I do find it difficult so I'm better being left alone!!!!!

[cat3]

Oh yes Trishy..............solitude is bliss ! I prefer the sound of birdsong to the sound of chatter every time. Don't be bullied ; do what's right for you. Cat xx

[RogerCMerriman]

On the reveres I'm looking after my folks place in wales, don't get me wrong the lack of tv blaring and so on is great, but I am struggling with organization. shows I guess how much of my high functioning is due to my wife!

[Candace8]

Hi Hun, please don't work yourself up thinking to much into it. Your brain just needs a break to rest. Ask them if you can have two weeks off. Just explain things to them in detail and its cause of this you are not doing so good with them. They will totally respect you for this and they should agree. Take a couple of weeks break and you should be ready to go again full force. We all need breaks from anything. They know this. Iv done it and hidden away for a couple of weeks and given my brain a rest. In that time tell yourself you need this help and they are there to help. They are there to give you the best chance of getting recovered. At the moment your bi is taking over your mind. Make your brain take over in the next couple of weeks. Remember we are here and understand and will help were we can. Keep in touch with us x

[Candace8]

Iv just read you other comment and from that I can see why you feel like you do. It's not surprising and yes it is just noise they come out with. I too had a car crash and have been exactly where you are. I'm nearly six years on but still remember everything in detail of what people said or did and the way I felt. I will never mix well again and if I was there I too would sit and listen to the birds and just not speak to you for no other reason that I would just be very happy on my own listening to the birds. It never left me re being alone but I think it's mainly cause you see things very very different now. You've lived locked up ( hospital ) but I never called it that. You've had people there 24/7 and you been in constant pain. Again are you actually suprised you feel like you do. It's NORMAL so don't worry. As said take a break x

[Hidden]

Hi Trish, I get what you are saying.

No, you are not antisocial. I too, much prefer being alone as being with people leaves me feeling exhausted most of the time. Nature is nourishing. My noise filtering system in my brain is impaired. On the bright side, It allows one to be in tune with the beauty of nature in this world, which is generally overlooked by busy people.

Claire

[Womble18]

Your not alone, well as wanting to be alone..I love my own time, no one around except me and the dog..just to get up and not what seems like question and answer sessions. I don't get chance to have the house to myself and find that so hard, I'm happy in my own little bubble, it's a safe and stress free place. Going down to the beach just with the dog is my free space, find it hard to go with others as its not giving my brain quiet time it so needs as my brain fatigues so quickly, this is 3 1/2 years since my car accident causing my TBI.

[AliCathy]

I know this seems strange but I am really grateful to hear such shared attitudes to life. I find hanging out with others somewhat exhausting, understanding this has enabled me to ensure I give myself time to prepare. It's not easy to accept that before my illness life was constantly shared, now I only do it if I really want to.

[bonfire]

I am very similar! I have the option of going out tonight but it would mean travel, the noise of other people, then a noisy evening then more travel back with alot of chatter. Sometimes I am able to get to places in peace and quiet by going on my own, but this time I will be relying on others for a long and noisy lift, and my brain just can't take it so I am staying in and that's fine by me

[Elenor3]

Hi perfectly normal way to feel. I'm afrayd I've been struggling along trying my very best to 'fit in' with family - 'act normal - or at least how I used to be' - be like other people etc etc & I've just about had enough. I've reached my limit. I've given it a good shot - but actually I'm much happier on my own. I'm grateful for my partners support (sorting out a lot if stuff / helping me back to work), but I do enjoy just being entirely by myself. I'm completely exhausted. Can't even sleep when I try to rest because I cant switch off and I've just started realising what's causing it. I'm different. I can't do 'people' anymore. Unless they start to understand that an hour at a time is enough......

Enjoying birdsong and 'pottering' is probably just what you need to do at this moment in time Good luck and I hope you find some peace x

[trishy63]

If only we could have a visual energy/comprehension display on our foreheads, with a bleeping sound when we are running low on battery/tolerance ... just like a mobile phone .. cant wait for technology to catch us up. hope it happens in my lifetime. Thanks for your support Elenor, with us both luck with the search for peace xx

[RogerCMerriman in reply to trishy63]

I've found it easier as time has gone on, to estmente what will tire me and by how much.

went to a charity ball for my local Headway Group i guessed between 2/3 days to recover which was about right, wasn't right until the Sunday the ball had been thursday night.

I also find different things tire me more. for example driving I find much less tireing than on the trains.

[SAMBS]

No you're not antisocial, it's just that when you have a B I, your old friends and contacts don't understand the changes you've undergone because you probably still look the same, walk and talk! That's what I and most others here have also experienced.

I've got to the point where life is just easier being alone - probably because there's no- one to challenge it and because it's now my comfort zone! I choose the level of noise or brightness, when and what to eat, whether to go out or not, no one else does.

Yes I hope one day it or I will change, I used to be a really sociable person, not anymore. I feed the birds daily, a stray/abandoned cat visits daily so I feed her. Fortunately someone did have her spayed and she had a flea collar on that rubbed her neck raw, when I first saw her. It took several months to gain her trust but she let me clean her up, treat her neck after finally managing to get her collar offend we have a mutual trust and respect for each other. I get more happiness from that than human company.

I think our attitudes ARE all part and parcel of circumstances and how our brain injuries affect us for good or ill. Enjoy your dogs company.

[Hidden in reply to SAMBS]

I totally agree Sambs. It is wonderful that the stray cat found you and gives unconditional love.

Claire

[trishy63]

Thank you everyone, So much to discover... Could someone not just print a book, with a checklist. Something along the lines of 'You may suffer Exhausting Shut Down Fatique - Do you?, or You may now need to lie down when someone is asking you questions, too much to think about - Do you? etc etc. I thought I had just been left crazy. To have any inkling that my new experiences were in fact 'symptoms" would have been so helpful. Feel cheated that I wasted a lot of time in ignorance and confusion. No headway group within a 70 mile round radius travel wise, and a fear of travel to boot haven't exactly helped. And now I have read Sambs repost of the book extract LOST & FOUND: WHAT BRIAN INJURY SURVIVORS WANT YOU TO KNOW. A mirror at last! that I can print laminate and give to everyone who comes into contact with me. Ive added a couple of extra bits so that it covers pretty much most people types that I will encounter. Away to look up part 1 of that book now. Thank you All, and much love on your journey .. Trish x