Dating: Has anyone got any ideas about dating. Ive... - Headway

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Dating

spideyman profile image
18 Replies

Has anyone got any ideas about dating.

Ive tried dating sites and they just seem to be full of liars who tell you things on their profile that they think you want to hear.

Singles nights are better as the person can see me and i can see them.

Im fed up with everyone telling me it will happen when i least expect it.

They say theres someone for everyone but ive now come to the conclusion shes dead

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spideyman profile image
spideyman
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18 Replies
razyheath43 profile image
razyheath43

Dating is hard,my advice? stop looking! shes out there eventually the universe will chuck her at you! meanwhile,get out enjoy yourself meet people,it will happen,honset!

Matt2584 profile image
Matt2584 in reply to razyheath43

I hope you are correct about that, Heath :).

angelite profile image
angelite in reply to razyheath43

Lol ! The universe certainly chucked my other half at me ! We met at my place of work - he joined to earn some extra money evening cleaning to help pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding. He already worked at the water plant at the back of the factory for several years, unknown. We tried hard to pretend we didn't connect at first because of the age gap - we felt it would be unacceptable ! In the end we had to admit defeat, had our son and have been together 23 years ! : )

My heart still turns over and catches the beat when I hear his car pull into the drive - how mushy is that ! : ))

spideyman profile image
spideyman in reply to angelite

I reckon you need to stop poking around in his private stuff while hes out LOL

lloydyuk profile image
lloydyuk

Try a more positive approach, negative traits push people away. Not attract them remember.

That's why I'm doing so well right now...

spideyman profile image
spideyman in reply to lloydyuk

Lloydyuk ive tried the positive aproach but no joy.

Ive had a woman with 1 leg who forgot to mention this. Maybe she thought i wouldnt notice?

Ive met a gorgeous Japanese woman (My Grandfather would have turned in his grave as he was a Japanese POW) and on meeting her she was a very wrinkly old Japanese woman who clearly got offended when i said she looked nothing like her pic. Her pic was more that 20 yrs old

lloydyuk profile image
lloydyuk in reply to spideyman

What are you looking for tho? Some eye candy or a relationship, do you tell your 'dates' everything about yourself? I mean all of your shortcomings? It's very easy to assume from appearance perhaps they don't state the things you mention as they don't see them as an issue.....sounding a bit shallow I'm afraid and people see through this quickly. You could always pay and play!!

malalatete profile image
malalatete

Well I walked out of a second disastrous relationship on the trot in my mid 20s strai t down the local for a night out with a girly pal vowing not to look at another man....and met my husband. So yes, it does come when you least expect. I guess on the above my advice would be stop trying, just be yourself. You look like a lovely bloke ( but then I married a tall dark haired guy with glasses and a cheeky grin and here we are 20 years later so you could say I have form where your type is concerned!......)

My brother in law met his other half on line and they were blissfully happy...so that can work too.

Best of luck.

BaronC profile image
BaronC

I hate to dump on your parade but I stuck with internet dating for quite some time, with some horror stories to tell and... I met my now wife and very happily married I am too. It was hard work, I too met the liars and the idiots, but then you meet them in every walk of life so I don't really see the difference between internet dating and any other form of it to be honest. One date is my wife, one ex date is a travel agent and arranged my honeymoon, and I have met a few other ladies who I now consider to be friends. Romance never blossomed, but so what?

Good luck in your search, you WILL get there.

Baron/Andy

Matt2584 profile image
Matt2584

I don't really like the dating game much. I did join up with some dating sites, they had to be for free though, I would not pay for a subscription or anything like that.

Most people were liars or had massive egos, thought they were better than me and the people that did seem like nice people weren't really my type... In attractiveness.

To be honest though, I did not really know what to do or say once I had joined a site.

I couldn't exactly say "Hi. There are 20 letters in the alphabet aren't there?".

They say there is 26 and I say "Ah yes, I forgot U, R, A, Q, T".

Then they say "But that makes 25 letters, you're missing one".

So then I say "You'll get the D later on ;)".

I don't think that would be very appropriate would it.

Like you, I think this 'someone' for me is either dead or had a sex change :).

My friend has a BI and met someone from a singles night/dating site called 'Search for the stars' I think it was called. She is now getting married next year.

As for me, at this point of my life, I'm not bothered much with dating sites or singles nights or stuff like that. I am too busy looking after my health :). Sounds a bit selfish but it suits me.

Maybe I will meet my princess one day but not yet, not yet.

angelite profile image
angelite in reply to Matt2584

Not selfish at all, Matt. My sister has a lot of health problems and after a few unsuitable encounters no longer bothers with relationships.Yet she has many friends and enjoys a happy social life when she feels well enough : )

I think the problem with any form of illness or impairment is knowing that someone understands and accepts your differences/limitations. Many people may say they do but when it comes to the crunch they lack patience and insight. In some ways,my having the brain episode has brought us closer together as a couple. In the same way that my partner's stroke brought us closer a few years ago too. I'll never forget his worried face in the hospital - he was convinced I would not want him anymore, bless him. I planted a big kiss on him , told him not to be 'barmy' and we've never looked back : ) We have seen each other majorly ill and struggling,fighting to get well again and learning to cope with our remaining deficits. This has added another dimension to our already special bond : )

Oops, it's getting mushy again ...

I guess what I am trying to say is that we are very lucky. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship without meaning : )

RogerCMerriman profile image
RogerCMerriman

I'm married and haven't been on the dating seen for over decade, so. Though I did meet my wife on the Internet, on a intrest group, it is a very old part of the Internet called Usenet, fairly geeky, it's a form of social media from the 80's no web browsers etc.

But the group meets up once a year for a meal and, we hit it off and the rest is history.

It's a fairly improbable way of finding a partner. And neither was looking.

Dating sites think about the person you might want to meet? And a lot of people are quite different online. I've friends who have found love that way, they also had some Horror stories but that's dating any way!

angelite profile image
angelite in reply to RogerCMerriman

It must take a lot of effort/concentration to present a different/more pleasing face online than in real life ? I don't get the point of dishonesty - sooner or later the 'real' you will be outed anyway if things go further !

RogerCMerriman profile image
RogerCMerriman in reply to angelite

some of it is wishful thinking, apparently blokes tend to lie/exagirate their height, women it's age.

At 6ft to the mm I get the "you must be 6'2 because I'm 6 foot" from blokes who are 5"8 etc.

angelite profile image
angelite in reply to RogerCMerriman

Lol ! I'm under no illusions as to my appearance ! All the girls down our line have 'pixie' type faces, it's genetic ! I also look like a pencil - straight up and down !

I've always placed personality ahead of physical appearance, luckily for me so does my partner ! I'm 46 (soon to be 47 ! ) to my partner's ( v. cute IMO ! ) 67 : )

As the saying goes ' Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' : )

SAMBS profile image
SAMBS in reply to angelite

and only 'skin deep'

razyheath43 profile image
razyheath43

there you go matt.shes out there! and yes iam right

headchild profile image
headchild

Hi spideyman, it certainly sounds as if you keep yourself busy even without a partner.

Never stop trying !! x

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