I`m struggling

I`m a single parent with 3 children aged 14, 12 and 9. i have a brain injury from when i had a car crash at 3 years old. I feel like a failure as a mum, and am tired all the time, more so as the summer holidays are here. the children live with me, and only see their dad 4 evenings a week, at the moment cause he started a full time job in July. I over-react to things and shout at the children, more so when I`m tired or frustrated, I do have my mum to help and a family friend but only see these people once a week. I try to have naps in the day which helps and the children behave well, I`m just struggling at the moment and cry a lot too

7 Replies

  • Hi Stephy

    Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. But you are trying to do the right things, e.g. getting help and rests. Your children are at that age when it's harder to amuse them too - well the teenagers anyway.

    I know it's hard but maybe if you can structure their day a bit with activities etc and ask them to respect your need for rest it may help. I found arts and crafts activities were usually enjoyed!

    Good luck

  • Hi Stephy Sorry to hear you are struggling, but I am sure you are not the only mother at this point in the summer holidays to be tired. Glad to hear you have support from your Mum and friend. Are you getting any help from your GP? If you are crying a lot, perhaps you are depressed and anti-depressants might help.

    Hang in there Vanessa xx

  • Hi Stephy ; maybe you could ask your GP for medication to help you cope a little better. Three children are pretty testing for any mother, but if you're really struggling then you need help to improve your mood and capabilities.

    Being exhausted and weepy doesn't add up to being a failure but it does, as Vanessa has said, suggest that you're suffering from depression which you really need to address with your doctor.

    I don't know whether you're taking meds at present but if so, you may benefit from a re-assessment.

    I've been where you are, and the correct medication improved my life dramatically. xx

  • Are there any holiday clubs nearby? Your older children could take the younger ones out to the type of things like leisure centres run or churches. There maybe council run schemes that you could enquire about.

    Definately set a bedroom time, down time at end of day for you. My kids go to their rooms at around half seven or eight. It gives me peace to wind down, and that is when I'm more likely to be snappy.

    If there is a park or swimming pool nearby make use of it, budget for activities and let them have a choice in what they do.

    It is hard, there are no hard and fast rules, young teens can be moody and push boundaries normal for that age, but trying for any parent.

    Try and find a balance between strict time table and choices for them.

    Hope this helps a little.

    Mine are back to school now. I survived :)

  • Well, firstly you have to be commended for having children after your brain injury. We all get a bit down now and then, and I'm sure normal people do too. It's hard being a parent at the best of times, so don't expect it to be easy. When you get a bad moment, try and count to ten, and then think of the last good time you had with your children. Only focus on the good things, and I'm sure you will become happier.

  • wish I could live closer and support you more as I no exactly what you mean. read my profile. you are not alone and boy it is so hard... frustration can be mistaken for anger but when a house nd 3 kkids all need your attention your brain cant cope. my children still punish me for not being an ideal mum I have no help .no father on sceine no family.other than carers resorse for your kids to get a break there is nothing. oh except here HEADWAYs's knowledge. xx

  • Please dont be hard on yourself im sure you are doing better than you think! Have you got friends or family.that can support you and lighten your load ! Please check with your doctor theres help he my be able to give you ! I wish you aĺl the best and please let us know how you are getting on ! David

You may also like...