Hi has anyone got any ideas on how I can communicate properly

When I am tired and stressed I cannot get my message as I would like across to people who don't me

i seem to be an idiot

[Kirk5w7]

Hi, I find when I try too hard or talk too much my brain seems to shut down my speech and thought processes, it's like it's protecting itself, not sorted it out yet myself, but deep breaths and slowing myself down gives a little respite, family understand but difficult with others, I know.

Janet xx

[brighton88]

I suffered with this big time for about 3 months after my operation, and then again for quite some time after radiation treatment. Now it is most likely to happen when I am tired or my endocrine system is under pressure. Just like you at these moments I am prone to becoming stressed at not remembering something that I know I know. A method I use is to try and think of another word, or even describe what I am trying to say. Many years ago when a friend of mine was learning English, if he could not think of the word, or he did not know if there was a word to describe what he wanted to say, he would describe the action. Very funny when one day he described flatulence wanting to know what the word was.

[cat3]

This is something I still struggle with 22 months on. I'm constantly mislaying everyday words and expressions which results in others finishing my sentences or filling in the blanks. And when it's a stranger I'm trying to talk to I have, on occasions, felt no alternative but to admit to my brain damage when the impasse has become overwhelming, and I can see the other person is really uncomfortable.

More and more, therefore, I have avoided contact with un-familiars, except on a perfunctory basis.

I realise this is no help whatsoever but I have learned that the more stressed I get, the worse the problem becomes. So I've been practising expressing myself when I'm alone at home (as if to an audience) and, strangely, I can prove much more eloquent when the pressure is off. I'm hoping that this practise will re-educate my brain so that I can eventually string a decent sentence together and build more confidence.

I keep reading about the brain's elasticity and potential to create new pathways so this is my own personal little experiment..........it can't do any harm. Cat x

[nemo_really in reply to cat3]

I wonder to what degree it's the "pressure" and to to what is the extra cognitive load of dealing with the interaction. For example, when dealing with family and friends there is an element of familiarity that means you don't put so much effort into working out how the other person might be interpreting what you say, and what you appear to be, and tailoring to suit? This attentional overload might play a significant part in failing to put your meaning into words, but this leads to negative self-feelings that then create their own problems by creating stress?

[Hidden]

Thanks

[pollyanne]

My OH says its like thinking and then having to translate it into another language. He has problems when

he is tired and when lots of people are talking as he always says that by the time he has thought of what to

say the conversation has moved on. He generally explains to people that he had an accident which affects his

speech and people are generally ok about things then and give him a bit more time and patience (without being patronising) . Some days he is brilliant but others can be hard work for him! but it is generally getting better and we are of the opinion it will take a few years for maximum recovery. He still has speech therapy which he finds helpful.

[sospan]

Hi, I get it as well.

Prior to my injury I would spend most of my days in meetings and giving presentations was second nature. Now its a world of difference with slow speech and word finding problems. I find it less of a problem with family but when I am trying to explain something to a professional my speech gets slower and slower - almost as if my batteries are going flat. If I concentrate really hard and put some measured spaces into what I am saying I can get by the effort wipes me out for several days afterwards.

What was really strange, was in the early stages post injury, I used to feel there was another "me" standing beside me looking at me talking and commenting on what I was saying.

[Annef68]

It can help by trying to encourage people not to all speak at once, as it can be difficult just trying to process the information you want to give. We practice with family & friends as you can feel more comfortable around them. It was hard at first but we encourage my son to talk slowly & clearly as we listened & we also had to actively respond in the same way, to allow him to process things. It's quite funny as he can be as clear as anything around people he doesn't know,(If it's of interest to him or a pretty face), & lazy with his speech with his family lol. But his speech becomes poorer when he's tired, which may always be the case.x

[lew-ann]

It,s all to familiar can't really add much I still can't help but speak fast it's as if I will forget what i'm saying worse when tired or stressed

[misswingit]

Lew-ann you do exactly what I do! I get it out as fast as I can, which unfortunately courses me to mummble my way through it, trying to repeat it at a slower speed only causes problems, stuttering because I can't find the words, long painful pauses. It's rather humiliating, the more flustered I get the longer I take. Sometimes having to ignore the fact I was talking in the first place (very awkward situation) If I'm honest the only solution I've found is to only talk comfortably with family and the few friends I have, when it comes to being social in situations like going out, I guess I just don't talk very much, I'm a listener (or appear to be) pointless conversations bore me most of the time so I just get lost in thought. P.s 4 years 4months on.

[sospan]

I was chatting to an OT person about this and as I was describing my problems when I realised what the problems are for me:

I am thinking what the response is

I am concentrating keeping my speech at the right pace and listen to myself

I am watching their faces and body language to see how they are responding

I am also scanning around the persons I am speaking to - don't know why but I have always done it.

Before I could have coped with all that multi tasking but now I obviously can't and the speech mechanism obviously takes a hit because it can't get enough attention