I have been poorly with fibro like symptoms for some years, which I believe were exascerbated by an accident, the consequence of whch has left me permanently disabled due to back injuries.
I also have restless leg syndrome, ptsd, severe ectopic heartbeats, and all sorts of other things which I don't want to go on about.
The problem I have is making my problems understood by my close family and to a lesser degree friends.
I just cannot find the words to do this. I have always been the strong one in the family, who all turn to, and now just do not feel well enough to cope with their many demands.
I am very bad at talking about my illness, I am almost too embarrassed by it, which I know is stupid, but I just cannot seem to get past this, and ask for the help and understanding I so desperately need.
They make me feel a waste of space, except my dear husband, who does have some understanding, thank goodness.
I truly can feel myself getting more and more depressed, and have at times felt suicidal. I am just so useless, I cannot remember things, and they will not forgive me this.
It does not help that I have not been diagnosed with fibro, as my doctor thinks something else is going on as well, and will not diagnose it until all other avenues have been exhausted. He is very good, but it leaves me as' mum with a bad back,' which I have always had, to a degree, although not as bad, and makes no impression of what I am really going through.
If anybody has any advice, I would be so grateful to hear from you, I am so low, I cry a lot at night when nobody can see me, as I do not want to distress them all.
Thank you, Cazx