I have read so much on the physiology of this bonkers illness, how complex it is and all the things that go wrong in the body to make up having Fibro.
But I just don’t understand how you can be okay one day and feel so terrible the next. Where does the pain and fatigue go, how can it just disappear?
Yesterday I had a day where I felt almost normal. I got up early (for me anyway, at 9am), I showered, washed and dried my hair, put on makeup, ironed some clothes to wear, got my little girl ready, stripped the bedding from our room (I daren’t even say out of complete shame how long it is since that was done), I went for a walk with my little girl (it’s been months since I have done that), I put washing in AND hung it out, my brother brought his new baby for a cuppa (us not the baby) and I held and cuddled him and fed him. I then made tea for my girls, they got ready for bed while I cleaned the bedroom, ironed the clean bedding and put in on the duvet. Then we had movie night. I even kept awake. We then put them in bed and my husband couldn’t believe it when I said let’s watch a film. I don’t usually stay awake after the first five minutes. I then sat and watched the entire film. OMG. How could this be? The week before last I was climbing the walls in pain after getting a virus. Now I know some of you may tell me off, I was hardly pacing was I? Did I pay the price today?
Well I did in so far as I was very tired from staying up too late. I didn’t get up until 1pm! But when I did I felt great, no pain (except for an aching neck)and although we just chilled today I made Sunday dinner and have ironed uniforms for tomorrow. I even think I could manage the gym tomorrow.
So going back to the question where does the Fibro go? I know probably it is a combination of the meds, physio, learning to pace, work not being quite as stressful as it normally is and that I have probably just come out of a very long flare. And don’t get me wrong I am not knocking it, I just don’t get it. The only negative aspect of feeling okay is that you realise just how bad you having been feeling and how much this illness robs you off. It also makes me realise just why people don't believe you are ill. If I don't understand how can they?
I just pray it lasts!