So. I was just sitting thinking. And I felt compelled to write this down.
I've had a horrible 4 years. I've been struggling with varying degrees of pain, disability and exhaustion. I've been on pretty much every tablet known to man and delt with nearly every side effect known to man. I thought I was going to die. And sometimes I wanted to. Hell - I even tried to kill myself a few times.
I am however pleased to say, that I am declaring myself officially in remission. A title I've decided to apply to my fibromyalgia. I haven't been on disability benefits since October; I've been working near full time since before Christmas and I haven't taken any prescription level pain medication regularly since 2012. I'm no longer on antidepressants or epilepsy medication and I don't take anything regularly now except the occasional mutlivitiamin
So does this mean I'm pain free and full of energy? Am I cured? Sadly I have to tell you that that is a dream way away. If it ever happens! I still hurt everyday and I still wish I could spend my life in bed BUT it isn't as bad as it was - and I think I've come to terms with this being like this forever. Why did it get better? What did I do?
Some tweaks to my diet and some significant changes to my attitude seem to have given me some freedom but I choose the word remission because I'm fully aware that at any time this could all be snatched away from me again. I could choose to live in fear - or I can party whilst I have the chance.
I have my husband, I hav my cat and I have my family. I'm back focusing on my degree and working my way back up the career ladder. I am so lucky to be given a second chance. I would still kill to have my old self back but I feel now as though that guy is dead. Gone.
Why am I posting this? God knows. I just wanted to write that. My fibro has been in remission for 6 months. And I'm happy.