As we approach 14th Feb I have such m... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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As we approach 14th Feb I have such memories of

Ginsing profile image
10 Replies

happy times and poigneant times. The 14th was tha last dance I had with my husband bless him . Sorry so sad this makes me this year so instead I shal concentrate on chocolate the reliever of tension the satisfier of life. Where would we be with out it - how are the dieters are we winning I try but when brought dweeties I eat them . Naughty me to find solace in food - shakes head- keep on smiling guys right where are we going today VG as you seem to be leading our merry gang into trouble no whimsy would be better. No sympathy it makes me cry no chocolate it makes me fat just laughter please xgins

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Ginsing profile image
Ginsing
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10 Replies
Dixiesdaughter profile image
Dixiesdaughter

Hi gins thought I'd send you a few jokes about men may the memories of your hubby make you smile today & always xxxx

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," She replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

Q: What do you call an! intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

--------------

Q : What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

--------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

--------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply to Dixiesdaughter

Well you certainly made me chuckle thanks xgins

Morning Gins so sorry today is a bittersweet day for you .. So if its fun you want then you need to get dressed 1940s style.....are you in for a day of surprises on here ...oh yes ... Moffy is doing the thread and we are back to the 1940s I shall say no more

My dieting is stuck I am now on steroids and the weight won't move but I am hoping when I come off them things will shift.... Probably downwards due to gravity but I live in hope. Lol love the jokes ... Here is a true story... That fits in so well. .

I went into labour with my son ... Very suddenly ..... my OH had to phone the hospital and explain I needed an ambulance now as the baby decided my due date was a mere figment of all our imaginations... The lovely lady on the phone said can I have your wife's date of birth and my husband shouted desperately down the phone.... It's a week before mine.... very useful huh, as I grabbed the bannister shouting through gritted teeth my actual birthdate for the woman on the phone

Take care gins and see you back in 1940 soon.....

VG xxx

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply to

How wonderful :) xgins

Maladjusted profile image
Maladjusted

At least your husband knew your date of birth VG. When I was in labour, my husband stated he didn't know my date of birth, or how old I was. He gave them a middle name for me that I don't have, couldn't give the correct home address, then told them he couldn't remember my surname. The nurse asked him "are you sure this is YOUR wife?"

I got my own back, as I knew all along I was having a boy, but in delivery suite I got the midwife to make out pink name tags with girls names on, whilst he was out of the room. (she hid the blue ones with the correct names in a drawer) In the end the entire team (I had a lot of people help my son into the world) were in on the rouse, and as the head appeared shouted "She's here". When he was presented with his son his face was a picture I'll never forget.

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply to Maladjusted

chuckle you were ;ucky it worked so well xgins

Stares at M oh my are we married to the same man!!!!!!!

:o

MrsValentine profile image
MrsValentine

Choc does have a chemical in it that makes us feel well...

i wish i had a magic wand for you to have that last dance again however i wish that all the chocolate you can eat and i hope and pray that it will make you feel the teeniest wee bit better.

my love and happy thoughts are with you xx

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply to MrsValentine

Thank you so much Mrs V hugs to you xgins

MrsValentine profile image
MrsValentine

Thinking of you today.

Hugs x

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