I would like to share with you my experience I hope in some way it may help others NOT to do what I have done.
I have found to my detriment that Getting all stressed out and tense is a true way to aggregates all the pain, all the muscles they all get extremely painful, which leads to agonising body wide pain and discomfort. I had to give up work because of this.
I always pushed myself to the limit, wanting to progress within the Clerical and accountancy field of work. 20+ years of this proved disastrous for me, now look at me. All that craving for more money a better job, and now I have nothing. Stress is a killer, so if you are pushing yourself and you have this illness, please I beg you to stop, before you end up like me.
I worked hard all my working life, no matter what it was. In one job during summer time when the crops where being harvested it was a 12 to 14 hour days, sometimes more. My work consumed me, I was a stress junky, the more stress the harder I worked. What an idiot!
I did it to pay the mortgage, my husband worked. He was made redundant from his skilled job not long after we married and had to take unskilled work so I was the major income earner. My way of thinking was as I had to be the major earner I will earn as much as I possibly can, to take the pressure off him.
When I look back over that time, I had approximately 3 months off work every year, how my employers put up with this I don't know. I went to several different Doctors and specialist none could find anything wrong, just said it was stress. Everything was put down to stress no matter what I went to them with. It was only 7 years ago when I moved to Lowestoft that I asked to be referred to an M.E specialist, I was diagnosed with Probable M.E. Then a couple of years ago the Pain clinic suggested it was Fibromyalgia, it was only 3 months ago when I begged my GP to sent me to a Rheumatologist for a diagnosis. Then last month I had a phone call to see if I would fill a cancelled appointment to see the specialist. At last I had a confirmed diagnosis. It felt good to know for sure that this is what it was. So for the past 30 years, since I was a teenager this is what it was. I was not going mad, it was not all in my head, it is real.
Looking back I achieved nothing, we had to sell the house, get rid of all the debt and change our lives, making life simple. My thoughts are now, was it all worth it? I has wrecked my health, made me very unhappy and changed my whole personality. I am no longer the blubbery fun loving person I was, I hate what I see. Pain can change us beyond recognition, why do we do it to ourselves.
I would now love to read your story.
Thanks for reading and I hope it may help someone some where.
Your Fibro Friend
Deelightful.
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deelightful
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Hi DEELIGHTFUL , I LOVE YOUR NAME AND I AM SURE YOU ARE DELIGHTFUL,whoops caps lock stuck again. please don't be so hard on yourself you did what you thought and knew to be right at the time.we all do our best with the cards we are dealt and cope in our own way, warm hugs to you xx
My GPs have told me the M.E and fibro are because of all the stress I have had over the years, so I can relate to your story, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't of done a lot of things, but we can't change what's happened I used to live in lowestoft. Moved up north 8 years ago in the countryside now, which has worked well for me. Much easier way of life. I hope you find that fun loving person again, irisjoy is right. Don't be so hard on your self.
You are so sweet, thank you, we move to Lowestoft/Somerleyton in June 2004. We are in the sticks. You must know it well. I love it here. So different from Peterborough our previous home town (there for 10 yrs). We are in on of the Estate houses, one of the thatches right next to the famous Post Office. So different renting but we like the fact the pressure is off, they do the maintenance. I am glad you love it where you are, it is so strange you go North I go East, but at least we have both have a much simpler way of life.
It is not easy living with ME & Fibro, you probably find that some days you don't know how to feel. Putting it into word too is difficult too, I know trust me.
It is great seeing so many responding. All the very best and big hugs to you,
hi Deelightful, Dont beat yourself up as what irisjoy has said you thought you were doing the right thing. Don't let fm get the better of you we all have times when we feel as miserable as hell trust me I know, like you am usually bubbly and full of beans just make that little more effort as you can still find time for a smile and a laugh..put a brave face on and smile as it takes less muscles to smile than it does frown cant spell.....take care and keep your pecker up
Hi Deelightful, I have had CVFS for 20 years and fibro and was ploding along living with it. Then my mother took ill and came to live with us,( I was her main carer. for 14 years.) Eight months after she moved into our granny annex,we had built she took seriously ill and ended up in hospital,I spent 15 days and nights at her bedside,she was even put on the Liverpool pathway and given days to live. But some how she pulled through and is now living in a Nursing Home! (even doing better than me now! )
Over the months of her moving from hospital to home I was really not well myself,not sleeping and when I did. not waking refreshed. My Dr said Oh its stress what did you expect with all that has happened in the last few months to you and your Mum! I knew my CFS was back and my walking became a problem and eventually I went to see the Rheumatologist,and was told I had acute fibro 18/18 and my FS had also kicked in. I also have to have 2 new knees and poss a hip.
Before all this happened I was living with my problems,even able to learn to swim at 58 and raised money for children in need...Now I cant even get in the pool as it is too much to get dressed and to far to walk along the pool side.
My imune system is shot to peices and I caught another Virus two weeks ago, and the Dr said I now have glandular fever which will afect my CVFS great eh!
Next week I am going to Physio at last it has taken my Dr's 23 months to sort out something to help me,as now I have to have everything done for me,I know if they had done more earlier than this I would not be so bad.
Sorry to have gone on a bit but ts a long haul isn't it?
Sending you gentle hugs and hope you get as much support on here as I have found. XX
My dear Rainbowdancer, It is so good to share experiences, reading what you have and are going through, I reach out and send you a big hug. I keep telling myself that I am not as back as some, there is always someone worse of than me. I wish I could do something from everyone here, on this Web site. I am so sorry too that you are now very poorly, please take care and I send you much affection and many hugs.
We all need to look of the bright side of life, and yes a good laugh does help. I find the only thing that gets me through the bad times, it that I am alive and my faith without that I do not know how I would cope.
Hi, to you all thanks for you kind words, I would love to hear your stories or just love to hear how you have overcome challenges. What we put down on this web site, we not only help ourselves but we also help others. I know from all the comments I have read and questions I have asked, it really has been good, educational and funny.
So please I would love to hear more I am sure others would too.
Bye for now your fibro friend, hugs to all.
Deelightful, I can so relate to your story personally. I did virtually the same, pushed myself to the limit, worked myself into the ground as a single mum of three children, refusing to go on benefits, literally throttling myself with stress and pressure and as a result got Fibro, CFS/ME and feel a wreck compared to before.
I often say to myself "was it worth it?!", I honestly don't think it was for my part. Yes the children are all grown up and ok thank goodness, but speaking personally my life is hard to rationalise. To feel trapped in a body that doesn't respond like it used to is very hard isn't it. I manage as well as I can but I can't help thinking I shouldn't have pushed myself like I did for so many years. If I hadn't pushed myself beyond my limit, I can't help thinking I would be fit and healthy.
The only consolation I have is the children, they are all fit and well and living their lives, so whilst I may have "sacrificed" mine, they have theirs whereas they didn't before. That gives me the peace of mind I need.
Thank you so much for all you said Deelightful, sometimes we have to lose a lot to realise what's important and that's the people we love and not so much ourselves.
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I used to live in lowestoft. Moved up north 8 years ago in the countryside now, which has worked well for me. Much easier way of life. I hope you find that fun loving person again, irisjoy is right. Don't be so hard on your self. 
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