fairwell

i have decided that i am going to leave this site as said the wrong things and up set certain people which was not ment by any means ..

so in the morning i will be gone so hugs to all my friends xx

[Hidden]

Hi Pammy, it will be a great shame if you decide to leave the site. I did not intend to call anybody names and I didn't use the term 'racist'. I only asked for more tolerance and understanding towards others to be shown on the forum. You expressed an opinion, which you have the right to do and judging from the response, there were others that were happy to agree with you. I don't wish for your thoughts to be deleted, I respect the fact that you have a right to make them because I believe passionately in the right for freedom of speech. Perhaps we can just agree to disagree, each take what we can from the thoughts of the other and move on. You have as much right to be on this site as anybody else so please don't leave because of my comments. I look forward to chatting to you again and wish you well. Jane x

[Hidden]

Pammy if you are reading this, there is absolutely no need for you to leave. Any reference to "racism" does not refer to your initial post but subsequent posts on the thread. You have more than redressed the balance and we value your membership here. I hope you reconsider.

If there is anything at all we can do to help and support you, please let us know. We will be only too happy to help or advise. Take care.

[Dixiesdaughter]

Hi pammy

Just seen your blog and I too would like to say that no one including myself who commented on the fact that they're has been a a few comments made on various blogs, which could be deemed either racist or judgemental, pointed the finger at any individual. I would hate to think that you feel you were signalled out in any way and as a result feel that you should now leave a site which Im sure is a valuable source of info, advice, friendship and support for all us fibro suffers. I do hope you reconsider your decision as from time to time on here were gonna say things others wont agree with but were all adults and hopefully minor disagreements can be sorted quickly and we can get bk to having a laff, moaning, or ganging up to battle against this illness we all share. Hopefully after a sleep (if your lucky) you will reconsider and come back to join us. I do hope so.

Regards

Dixie.

[Hidden]

I don't know you nor do i care for any miss understandings or fallouts but i'm sure of one thing as bad as it feels just now is it worth walking away from a site that has obviously ment something to you. Don't leave honey, your entitled to think differently if we all thought the same and agreed we would be ever so boring. xx

[julieevh]

There have been a few, shall we say "racially insensitive" comments on a couple of blogs over the weekend. I think that sometimes our pain gets so bad and our patience wears so thin that we say things in public which really we ought not to do; but we live and learn.

Hope you don't leave Pammy - this site is such a fantastic resource and community and it is awful to see members leave.

((((( gentle hugs to everyone )))))

Julie xx

[hamble99b]

I haven't seen any of the earlier posts, but I don't think you should leave.

words on a post show no feelings,humour or sadness, without any form of expression other than ! or ?

[I cant work out how to do those smiley balls either]

therefore misunderstandings happen,

fibro leaves us all sensitive and how we are feeling in that moment affects how we read a post and sometimes how we respond.

I read a response once that I felt attacked the blog writer. I immediately wrote about respect and was chastened to find out that I'd misread it.

please stay.

sandra.

[julieevh in reply to hamble99b]

Ohh me too Sandra - I got the wrong end of the stick once on a post and in trying to make supportive suggestions really upset the original poster ... I was absolutely mortified that I had upset her. Sometimes you just want the ground to open up and swallow you up don't you? I ate some humble pie that day.

Julie xx

[Hidden]

hun i hope you dont this site.as no one on here thinks you are like that.everybody is allowed to there own views and i for one am not a racist either.

you help people with yre blogs and they help you in return .this site is friendly and caring and so i think you will regret leaving this site.

please re think and come back.x

[starblaze]

I have no idea what has happened either,,, but I agree that everyone is not only entitled to their own opinion, but to voice them as well!

I call them 'discussions' rather than 'disagreements' .. It makes it sound so much more adult lol...... So stay and have lots more discussions over many more years... X

[violetta10]

Ihave no idea what was said . just let byegones be bygones unhappy in mind and body we all say things we regret I do all the time ..I f this site helps do return.. you see peple do understand xxxx

[Celticmoon]

Hopefully with all of our support you will reconsider your decision...?

There is only one common "enemy" on here and that is fibro/bad health and this should unite us all!! We are all here to support and rally each other so don't leave... please stay so you can continue to receive AND give that much-needed help!!!

[enazena]

I also have no idea what was said but have to agree that often things are misread or misheard or just taken the wrong way.

I also have to agree with everyone including Celticmoon......there is only one common "enemy" and that is this wretched fibro along with all its "relatives"....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Do hope you have come back in just to read any comments that have been left and see how much you will be sadly and sorely (if you'll excuse the pun lol) be missed.

Biggest hugs to you pammy......ever such gentle ones too.....and hugs to everyone else who needs them this Monday xxx

[fairycazzie]

Hi Pammy i have not looked at the blogs in question am on mi phone and i will have to do such a tour to come back lol

Anyway i hope that i have not said anything on any blogs to hurt anyone as i am so not that sort of person.

I have to admit my meds must have some funny effects at times because i can look at things and think blimey i so do not remember saying that or doing that or this .

My advice i guess is always try go over anything that is posted and chat with some one who runs the site to read any msgs to double check what ever your thinking of replies etc..

I have mis read an odd message but i breath and think about it, leave and then go back.

This site is lovely and very supportive!!! There are wanderful regulars on here who come on to release and share whats happening or to support another member in the best way possible!!

So do not leave pammy without 1st going over things at least.

We love you to stay

Xxxxcaroline x

[susie59 in reply to fairycazzie]

pammy has gone, along with quite a few others over the last month or so, its not right.

[Hidden]

People will always have their own reasons for joining or leaving Susie, ultimately it's their choice, no-one is forced to be here, but we do our best to ensure they enjoy their stay and that they feel we support them. It isn't after all like school, college or work where we have to attend.

Hopefully Pammy will be back, people will always come and go in forums. Some rejoin - when people are ill sometimes they need support and sometimes they don't feel like it, hence the joining, leaving, joining cycle - we see this quite frequently.

We are always here and happy to help whenever anyone needs it, hopefully our members realise this. At the end of the day we can only do our best, we have a great Volunteer and Admin team who ensure everyone feels supported and that all members know they can contact us at any time either in the community or privately.

[fairycazzie]

Hi,

Yes i kind of realised after i posted that Pammy must of gone as i clicked on name to read about her and thought i must have a problem clicking hmmm.

Then clicked to look see the date!

I using I phone lol so jist reading what is in my email .

@susie, i have been here a few month and some have come and gone, yet some are busy too and will pop in when can do.

It is a shame sometimes that some feel the need to leave for what ever reasons, in my opinion i recomend talking to Admin 1st if any questions about other members or just simply if you feel the support is not readily available but it usualy is.

I enjoy my time on here & have got to know a few regulars and yes odd ones fb too so a bit more personal as more on profile and and quicker interactions .

Not everyone has a FB a/c and not interested.

I once went on a site called Leisure District it had a library area, sofa area and a corner for personal issues, it got closed down because of idiots bullying but i kept contact with some amazing ppl and have finaly met and holidayed with them now over 15 yrs friendship.

Fb is the next thing that gotdeveloped its great but not anywhere as good!

So hope you stay happy here, fb or anywhere you go xxxxxxxx

Caroline xxx

[LindseyMid]

Hi Pammy, if you're reading this, don't worry about it. If you want to come back, feel free.

We have the Guidelines there to protect the community as a whole and sometimes we have to remind members of them, but in itself this is not a problem and does not mean we want that member to leave. Communicating online has its own peculiarities and it is easy for threads to go off topic, or for people to misunderstand, or for discussions to get out of hand in a way that they probably wouldn't if we were talking face-to-face. The anonymity of online communities can mean that many people will "say" things they might not say in a group environment with people they had only just met (this is a general observation not a particular comment about you!) and sometimes as Admins we have to step in. But just like in a group if something is said that could lead to argument or upset, we want to make sure that upset is eased where possible, learn our lessons and move on.

[cobweb]

I don't know what was said, but for everybody I'd like to say that it is SO EASY to say the wrong thing. Fibro makes it worse, as we seem to manage to put our feet in even the tinyest mouth! I'm very worried about upsetting people accidentally & walking away would normally be my reaction if I thought I'd angered or upset anyone. But with fibro I've learnt to accept that things don't necessarily come out of my mouth (or computer) the way it sounded in my brain. Does that make any sense? probably not! So to everyone I'd like to plead for patience & take everything with a huge tub of salt

hugs to all xx

btw how do you do the smiley balls?

[Hidden in reply to cobweb]

Exactly!

smiley balls..lol...

key in a : which is a colon I think its called

Then a - dash ( its the one by the o number)

Then a open bracket ) like a smile...

Hope that makes sense...

x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ps to do the wink one.. just replace the colon with the lower case on like this ;

<3

x

[cobweb]

I lost a good friend & assorted followers on facebook, because I saw red over her reaction to people with mobility scooters. I use one & felt that I needed to stand my ground. It got very heated, long after I'd withdrawn from the conversation, with various friends taking sides. Although we later patched things up, the damage had been done & we've drifted apart. The irony of it all is that I'd only made a silly joke which she reacted to. It wouldn't have happened if we were face to face. On-line people can't see your face

[nicely]

oh pammy what a shame if you have left please rethink and come back you will be sorely missed if you have i would like to wish you love and good luck and be well dont let this upset you as it will make you feel more ill and we as your freinds are hear to support you and each other to make you feel wellxxxx

[ginge]

whatever was said, cant be as bad what i told someone once, i was explaining about fibromyalgia to a aqantance who was quite posh..... i ment to say, the drs think i was a hypercondriac..........what i said was i was a NYMPHAMANIAC.........she looked at me funny and walked off...lol

[Hidden in reply to ginge]

Lol, that will raise many smiles, thank you Ginge lol!

[Hidden]

Hey, don't leave the website because you got it wrong or because people felt you got it wrong! We're all human and make mistakes or are misunderstood sometimes. Stay on the website and just be as honest as you can, that way people will understand as best they can, and remember - some people will never understand. Remember the saying "you can't please all of the people all of the time". Besides the website is here for you to use for your needs, not just for the needs of other people. Just be polite and honest.

Suexx

[Hidden]

Me too and I agree... so sad and makes me a tad nervous. Love to all and especially those that felt they needed to leave. x

[Extremelygrumpy]

Yeah I have been here a month and I noticed about 3 people have left.. They seem to be close friends of another member who had seemed to have left..... Perhaps they all decided to go to a new site together .... BUT in the month I have been here I have met about 20 NEW members ... People come and go all the time that's the nature of forums Real life comes first or people want to try new places.. If nobody ever left or joined that would make the forum very unrealistic... Personally I have not seen any targeting of the member you mention she has been very nice to me and posted some lovely comments on my blogs or questions.... Lacey please don't feel afraid to post ...I don't think you could ever upset anyone your posts are so nice and helpful

VG x

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Thank you x