I do not no what to do this any more, so sore and tierd and stiff i just want it to stop,
just leave me alone for ten min but it will not go, not really sure why im writing this, maybe just because, i do not want to go on any more, my light in the tunnel has gone out and i just want to go with it, my disable mum offered me her wheelchair, so i could get out the house, what the ..... i said what are you talking about. is that what i have to look forward too, i was alway the strong one "want some thing done just ask" my mum even had me doing her neighbours decorating. now i'm not even sure i could lift the paint brush or the wallpaper let alone get it on the walls.
im sorry but i was alway so active running around after the kid working full time running the house and looking after mum and dad and there house. and now......... it takes me so long to get shower and dressed that by the time im ready to leave the house i need to go back to bed.. i just can not do it. the light is out.
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ellie10
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you need help, I too was in the same position last year, if some one had said heres a pill to end it all Id have taken it. are you on the right meds, speak to your gp, have you thought of having an assessment by social services and OT, as for the wheelchair, I cried my eyes out when my neighbour offered me hers, but mine was delivered not long ago and again I cried, but I need it, I dont want to fade away sitting here, Ive accepted Im not going to get better,hopefully I will soon find something to ease the pain. I hope you can get all the help you needxxx
I know how tough it is, have you got anyone you can talk to,I like you thought I was superwoman, and its hard to accept you cant do what you use to, fibro has a huge spectrum, and there is relief for many , have a word with your gp to get meds that will help you
awww ellie, please speak to somebody about how you feel. please see your GP about this. your mum would be devastated to lose you and she probably understands your situation more than you know. there comes a time when we have to be pragmatic and accept physical aids. if we need them, we need them. so be it. life in a wheelchair doesn't mean that life stops. it just changes. you need a strategy for managing your health, both mental and physical, and a strategy to get through each day. have you been referred to a pain clinic? if not, ask your GP to do so. they can arrange help in many ways.
none of us can what we used to. fibro robs us all of so much, but we slowly change and adapt, so please don't give in to the darkness and let it rob you of your life.
I've been exactly where you are several times. If you need to speak to somebody urgently, then I'm sure lots of us would be willing to chat to you - me included. PM me and let's exchange phone numbers. Meanwhile, please ring your GP urgently. They're in a position to help.
I am feeling like you at the moment.... I am so tired, so shattered, so much pain. I know i have overdone things again but i have no one to do them, but i am so fed up not being able to be independent anymore.
But it is just the fibro making us feel like this and you need help. Please talk to your GP if they are sympathetic or your mum, i know she will understand.
You know we are always here and know how you are feeling.
i had anpointment this morning with my counceler from the cares group i go to she called me about an hour ago, she has spoken to one of the doctors at the surgery i go to. i have to go and see them at 4.30 today.
thanks for all your kind words.
Im so glad Ellie I hope you can get sorted, let us know how it goes, we carexxxx
Well Ellie, I think you have far too much spirit to let your light go out. Keep fighting it, I know its hard. Think of all the people that love you and need you whether you are the Ellie you used to be or the Ellie with Fibro x
Hi Ellie please believe me when I say you will see that light again you have a lot to come to terms with, when someone gives you a label (ie told you all these horrible feelings and pain is called fibromyalgia), you feel relieved at first I know I did, then you read a bit about it come back to earth with a bang... I have had FM since 1993 and have gone through many ups and downs a flare sends you to the bottom but you can climb back up, honest, I won't kid you and tell you its easy but the kind of support you get on this site is amazing and we have all been there..as someone else said your mum probably understands where you are talk to her. Life goes on just in a different way, when you feel good you do a bit if its a bad day, rest is the order of the day, finding balance is the thing and don't over do it on a good day which is so easy to do.
Well i think I am rabbiting on a bit but your blog just made me feel for you so much. I hope your appointment helped chin up and look for your light it may be dim but I'm sure it's still there if you really look hard love and lots of soft hugs sue xx
hi ellie hope all went well at the docs for you i know how you feel and i was in a wheelchair but now use my stick and crutches but i do feel a bad flare up coming on and im fighting it keep fighting hun as you are already stronger than you think and as said before by the others we are all here for you and all know how you feel and if we need the aids to help us in our times of need then so be it you look after yourself hun chin up take care soft hugs xxx
Hi ellie just loged on as have had bad day. as others have said do talk to someone and tell them exactly how you feel hope Drs goes well. let us know soft hugs. xx
Hi, Ellie, I as well as many others know exactly how you feel, some of us are lucky to have family and friends to ttalk to and they listen. I like you have know one really, seeing your once healthy body go down hill at such a young age does take its toll, but you are not alone hun, Explain how you feel to your Dr dont hold back and then you will start to get the help you so desperatly need,, Making that appointment was your first step..........Big hugs hun xxxxxxxx willow xxxxx
Hi Ellie, hope your GP appointment helps and gives you back some hope. I get to the point your at sometimes too. I was always the one who did everything - cleared my Mum's house on my own when she died and everything. Now I can't keep my own house clean or cut my grass.
Take as much help as you can get and you will have good days again.
Hi everyone, well still here. sitting here crying reading all you kind wordmand support, i'm really thankfull to you all. well went to the doc and she was not very nice and ended up having a shouting match with my hubby. but she referred me to the mentel health crises unit, and the pain clinic, the mental heath team called me last night and had appointment with them this morning at 11,30, the nurse i spoke to was really nice and listened to me and was going to speck to my gp straight away when i left to see when my appt is going to be with the pain clinic and said she would get me there as soon as poss, as she recons it all down to the constint pain i have. the nurse also told my hubby not to leave me alone and to make sure i did not have anyway of taking anything . i sent him to the golf. but im ok ..
thank you again for everything. love and gentle hugs ellie
thats great news ellie! i always say 'he who shouts loudest gets heard', looks like your hubby was loudest!
dont worry about mental health teams nor any stigma thatgoes with it. they arethe poeple who can help you. be honest with them and you will get there. there is no magic wand, but trust me - poeple do care. ivebeen there.
good for your hubby standing his ground! am so glad to read that things are moving for you. mental health teams can be very good and they are often folks who've been thru the mill themselves.
just take one day at a time, one hour at a time. hope yr hubby enjoyed his golf (what is it that appeals about chasing a very small ball round acres of grassland?!). what did you do while he was out?
don't forget if you are in the house alone and feel desperate like you are going to do something there is no shame in ringing the samaritains ,i have done this myself on several occasions when i have felt like i really wanted out of all the pain and hassle that comes with it,you don't have to tell them your name and they do listen and talk to you, it doesn't matter how many times you ring them that is what they are there for and as one of them said to me a about april time,if they can help one person then they are happy to have done ,
Hi, Well after reading the first comment you made I was quite upset, and remembered the spoon story and thought well we will use bulbs instead so here goes
It is a very sad time your going through and althought the light at the end of the tunnel seems to have gone out, it has`nt it just needs a new bulb.
Just something with a little more watt`s to let you see the end of the tunnel again.
The light never goes out, its always on but sometimes we when hurt and in pain and we loose sight of it and we panic and think this is it ! if there is no light how do I get to the end?.
Well a lot of us for whatever reasons have also thought the light was out.
Then sometimes someone comes along and says, "hey its not out it just needs a new bulb!"
So I have personally read all of the comments from everyone else and guess what hun, they all have a bulb for you so you need never be in the dark again, even if you cant find the switch because your hands don``t work ask someone here to do it for you and your will prob be met with blackpool illuminations so you see there is always light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes we need others to help light it up.
god bless and keep chatting to us all and hope you can now see your bright light and just keep aiming for it , I have managed to get to the tunnel end and it is indeed beautifull, and yes I do sometimes find myself at the start of it again but always know it is there and sometime again i will reach the end but am not scared of the wait I often use it as a challenge.
I think of myself as a plant bulb - I'll pop above ground and throw some colour into the world whenever I can, then I sink back down below and conserve energy for a while!
would just like to say you are all AMAZING. I have never in my life had such nice or supportive word spoken to me.. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. LOTS OF LOVE ELLIE
Hi just got back was at my mums for a while, when hubby was taking his mum shoping.
im ok as long as i do not stop and think.
better than i was then i was the other day (tue)
very sleepy right now but i know if i go to bed i will not sleep.
and what the hell i keep forgeting the name of things like when i was at my mum's she had ask if we would like to come for dinner tomorrow, so i said to hubby when he came back we have ....... blank
my mum look at me like wtf. i just laught could not think of anything else to do. anyway yeah bit better today if not a bit nuts. thanks you.
glad to hear you've had company today. aye, you've gotta laugh sometimes, otherwise you'll just cry fibro does cause giggles once folks know why. I usually make a joke of it e.g. too much LSD when I was at college...etc
I just got back a half hour ago from the GP with another tweak to the drugs cocktail, basically taking me back to where I was about 2 months ago lol. have really felt like cack the past 2 weeks. a flare up. oh well, such is life...
hope you have a better weekend of things, Ellie xx
i must say (i've had fibro for 13yrs) i was 35 at the time, when they diagnosed fibromyalgia i was over the moon and said to the rheumatologist thanks for the diagnoses, now what are you going to do to get rid of it,because i have a very busy work and social life to be getting on with, the answer was ,there is no cure(what !!!!i'm 35 and i have to cope with this),i then went headlong into trying all sorts of alternative treatments ,which cost a fortune and did absolutely zilch,it is a very hard thing to get your head round and i think people with it never really do,all the negativity you get from the dwp , atos and certain doctors doesn't help, i wish we were born with a spare body so we could put one in for repair and step into the good body, a bit like putting your car in the garage and driving off with in a different one!!!,try to stay positive it is really hard,i was as i put it "one step away from suicide" and then strangely enough i discovered this amazing little world via the web, and found i was able to talk to people who understood fibro and the pain and problems that fibro brings and i must say i don't mean to sound too dramatic i feel it saved me from doing what i had intended to do to end my life, so never feel you are alone , come hereand talk,nobody ever judges you xxxxgentle hugs
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love and light to you willow xx
fibro does cause giggles once folks know why. I usually make a joke of it e.g. too much LSD when I was at college...etc 
Sometimes I just want to scream!!!!
i know this is very tabo but i wanted to know 🤓
Pain, tired, want all to stop
i want to learn levetation while sleeping!!
Stop the world i wonto get of !!
