I've been answering/writing/reading posts on this site for a couple of months and feel like I'm getting to know some of you, and you are all an inspiration to me and give great advice on this silly illness!
I realised this morning that I haven't shared my own Fibro story.
It's only the past couple of years when I began researching into FM, when I read that a possible cause is prolonged stress as a child...I cried, hard,
I remember when I began noticing differences in my ability to do things, I was 15/16 years old, I was in foster care as I had been abused (of every type of abuse) at home. I was also studying for my GCSE's at the time.....I was always a terrible sleeper and probably prone to depression even younger than 15...My mother was an alcoholic and had suicidal tendencies...so this was probably hereditary.
I stopped talking to people because I couldn't think fast enough, I felt unable to hold a conversation, I had stress incontinence, I ached from head to foot, I felt sick all the time and I suddenly needed glasses....this was all put down to what I had been through.
I began having panic attacks, periods of insomnia followed by periods of sleeping all the time. I was told I was too young to be put on antidepressants and the best thing for me to do was talk...I refused.
I got into art college, most of the time this was ok though I remember having to take time off every now and then because of intense pain, my knees and shoulder were always the worst but the drs couldn't find anything wrong.I had re-occuring tonsilitis which was put down to not eating properly because I was a student.
I did my 1st dip and National Dip in art and design and went on to do a HND in textiles..by this time I was always having time off due to tiredness, widespread pain, depression, tonsilitis and gutate psoriosis, CTS, unexplained high blood pressure...which only lasted 2 months and then it was fine again!
I then went on to do a BSc in Knitwear production, straight into the 2nd year of a 3 year degree!! I was so pleased. Depression kicked in big style! I was self harming, in constant pain. I was having to take notes wherever I went as I was unable to remember things, I found it difficult to retain information and struggled with my dissertation. I even remember having to go back through my notes because I'd totally forgotten how to write a 'y'!!
Drs were still unable to tell me why I was in pain...but I was able to take anti d's.
I met my husband, stopped self harming, life was good for a while, until my first daughter, I was diagnosed with having postnatal depression, but I think it was a massive FM flare too. I couldn't move I was in so much pain, seriously depressed. I went back to work so Jim could look after J. D was born 2 yrs after, I was put on suicide watch with 2 health visitors visiting twice a week...I was ok though...very tired, in a lot of pain....I went to my GP about RLS and she said she'd never heard of it...and that was that. My back and legs were agony but everyone put it down to childbirth.
2 yrs later I had twins...I kept fainting and was diagnosed with CFS and aneamia...5 mths after having the twins my periods went doolally. I was constantly bleeding heavily and in constant pain, depression again and incredibly tired..I had every test under the sun and nothing was abnormal. My stomach began bloating...tested for allsorts, all negative. Discovered I had an ectopic kidney which they decided was the cause of my bloating!
My husband worked away for a while and I held the fort...was going well, kids helped when they could, then he came back (which wasn't supposed to happen - we were going to move to him) my whole body just shut down. I couldn't walk, eat, it hurt to move, severely depressed....I then met the GP i'm with now...he asked all the right questions, read my notes, put 2 and 2 together and made 4!!! After al lot of tests again he diagnosed me with Increased Pain Perception/FM
I was just so relieved to have someone listen to me after nearly 20 years!!
It was no longer, all in my head!
So there you have it...I'm learning to control it now. Every day is different but I'm in good spirits and glad I have found people I can talk to who understand.
Thank you for listening x