NO BETTER!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??????

Havent stopped crying all day apart from when i fell asleep through sheer exhaustion, watched some episodes of friends, even managed a smile or 2 but then reminded me ive never had friends like that, so made me cry again. cant bring myself to speak to anyone (both my daughters have called but i know it is only to tell me their troubles so i havent answered) and know i need to take my pills but i really want to curl up and die, funny think the heat patch is working on my back has eased it a lot, my knees kill like mad but painwise not too bad, just wish i could stop this depression, reading some of your stories i have no reason to feel sorry for myself, but i cant help it. Some of you are still working and bringing up children and suffering, i cant even manage to walk down the stairs- i know i got it easy compared to some i guess i had 40yrs looking after ppl and being strong and now i have no more to give. I dont know what the hell i mean or want to do i may feel better tomorrow i may feel worse, but for all you newcomers this site is really good and everyone is so sweet and its nice to know someone understands but everyone is different and what reassures one wont necessarily help you. sorry for the waffle im waiting for a game to download and thought i would pop on and saw few new names.

hope you all have a gentle week. xx

12 Replies

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  • Hi hope you feel better tommorow

    all the best to you

    gentle hugs

    Rubberman

  • Hi kialaya my heart goes out to you, i really feel for you, i really do no how you feel, think most of us have been there and still going through such bad days that we really dont want to carry on, but we all have to get through it some way or another and we do get through it untill the next time,i to have had a terrible 2 weeks some days just dont want to talk to anyone let alone see anyone, but tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a much better day where you feel you can cope. I hope you dont mind me asking but are you takeing anythink for your depression ? maybe you should go back and have a chat with your doctor and just explaine how your feeling, take care and big gentle hugs xxxx

  • yes im on a high dose of prozac but my doc isnt sympathetic, i am only allowed to discuss max 2 things at a time then have to make another appt not that she ever has any, all the other docs tell me to go back to see her as she knows me, but she isnt sympathetic at all, despite the fact that just walking to see her leaves me out of breath and in pain with my legs.

    You are all right tomorrow is another day and everyone goes through it. I am so fed up seeing the place a mess and not being able to do anything about it and having no help here and none of my family understand.

    Good night all! thankis for your comments.

    gentle hugs to you as well.

  • Hi, sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. I hope that you wake tomorrow feeling better.

    I found this quote

    "Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other. When one takes a rest, the other one tends to take up the slack"

    Don't beat youself up about feeling down, it is so common for FM sufferers, not many people could live with our pain.

    Hugs xxx

  • Thats terrible if your only allowed to discuss only 2 things at a time with your doctor,is it possible for you to change your doctor, or even a different surgery, if there is another in your area, i have a fantastic doctor who goes way over his time with me,and lets me tell him all what i need to, i find you need to have a good relationship with a doctor who takes you serious and one who will listen and give you good advice, will make all the difference and put you on the rite meds ect and hospital appointments for tests if any is needed,do you have any friends or family who would or could help you out with your housework ect ? maybe you could get some help from social services ? i really hope you can sort out something just hang in there ......... Good nite and gentle hugs hun xxxx

  • So sorry your Doctor isn't sympathetic

    And your worried about house work

    just put the house work to one side

    Have you a flair up box as very help

    full which you put things you like and

    cheer you up pictures & stuff like that

    I do meditation when in pain & low mood

    done some today as have had the same

    put some soft music on and do some

    breathing excersises I find it realy helps

    with pain but you have to keep practiceing

    at it

    Gentle soothing hugs

    Rubberman

  • hi look dont worry if youmwant to moan and cry , cry let it out better out than in you are just having rough few days i had it 2 weeks ago as crying at everything hanging onto my dad like a little girl everything was going wrong with coucil/housing and other stuff and i got to my limit and popped i could not take anymore i really could not i jus wanted to sit in a corner and drift away but it got better as it does and i am ok at min well ok for fibro sufferer lol anyway keep conming on and checking in try to get out if you can get some fresh air try to call a friend you must have someone you can call to say hi if not call your daughters and tell them it may be the kick they need to realise how bad you are love to you diddle x

  • Hi kia,

    SEnding you a big hug,

    Like christine says tell your daughters exactly how you feel. I would like to know if my mam was feeling like this hun.

    Change that doctor too. Mine is ok but always has plenty of time for me and likes to see me every month to see how i am doing especially with the depression side of things.

    I have periods like you especially at the beginnig and it does last for some time hun.

    You say exactly how you feel on here and i hope getting it all out will help you and you can look back at your posts too like a diary to keep an eye on yourself (if you get what i mean).

    I do hope you start picking up soon, my heart goes out to you and we all worry about you too.

    big hugs, kel xxxx

  • Hi kialaya,i know it dosent help darlin but your not alone,when reading what you had written i could say yes to so much,the tears of late well have been so untrue the decline in the body ,it makes you wonder why you,i wont bore you with my details .Take the offer of care/support and thoughfullnes you are given

    a cup of tea and a chat is good medication works better than pills,and a cuddle with teddy also very helpfull ,as the arms of us all together .

    look in the mirror and smile ,today i will feel better for me xx

    lavender xx

  • Hi Kia, there must be something in the air as Ive been SSSOOOOO depressed since my daughter left home last wk to live with her boyfriend.She's not a million miles away and she txts me all the time.But its just that yet another person I love has gone.All Ive done is cry.I dont want to talk to people,or go anywhere.I cry myself to sleep.I can do without the Fibro/arthritis pain Ive got as well. I feel that I just want to curl up and die too.As for you not having friends...theres me and all of the above (at least).We're right here for you,whenever,whatever you want to say.OK.I like the idea of a "flare up box " and Im guna start one. Big huge soft comforting hugs and shoulders to cry on.xx

  • Hi Kia, reading ur comment it looked like i had just wrote it myself. Again today i'm not dressed, washed, why?? wats the point!!! the pain is so so bad in my legs , knees, my back , my neck. I want to get off my chair to do the cleanin or some ironin i get out of breath just puttin the washin in the washer!!!!. Everyday i think "Why Me".:-( I'm just waitin for date for appealls for my ESA & DLA, these have been goin on for well over 18 month its my 3rd DLA, has any1 out there had the same and won?? I'd love to have just a tiny bit of hope. xxx big soft hugs Kia we all keep goin tho sometimes i wonder why!!! xxx loe to every1

  • Thank you all. Now I am back on my anti depressants (god i hate having to take so many different pills) it has taken the edge of but i just wish i could do more than one thing before im hurting so bad all over. And the hypersensitivity dont help. I stripped some paint of the stairs yesterday and took so much off had to brush stairs twice, was in agony bending after and got washing up to day, when i told my son he said "oh what that took you all of a couple mins" i cried when i got upstairs, they really dont know how long it takes me to do a simple thing like that or the effort it takes.

    Anyway i have until sunday and whatwever i do i know it will stay that way til he gets home. I love him to bits but i wish he would understand just a little.

    Gentle hugs to all of you. xx

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