Havent stopped crying all day apart from when i fell asleep through sheer exhaustion, watched some episodes of friends, even managed a smile or 2 but then reminded me ive never had friends like that, so made me cry again. cant bring myself to speak to anyone (both my daughters have called but i know it is only to tell me their troubles so i havent answered) and know i need to take my pills but i really want to curl up and die, funny think the heat patch is working on my back has eased it a lot, my knees kill like mad but painwise not too bad, just wish i could stop this depression, reading some of your stories i have no reason to feel sorry for myself, but i cant help it. Some of you are still working and bringing up children and suffering, i cant even manage to walk down the stairs- i know i got it easy compared to some i guess i had 40yrs looking after ppl and being strong and now i have no more to give. I dont know what the hell i mean or want to do i may feel better tomorrow i may feel worse, but for all you newcomers this site is really good and everyone is so sweet and its nice to know someone understands but everyone is different and what reassures one wont necessarily help you. sorry for the waffle im waiting for a game to download and thought i would pop on and saw few new names.
hope you all have a gentle week. xx