Fibromyalgia Action UK

Is this you???

Did you know that the people that seem the strongest are usually the most sensitive?

~Did you know that the people who exhibit the most kindness are usually the first to get mistreated?

~Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones that need it the most?

~ Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry and help me? Hugs and blessings to all

10 Replies

too true, its easier to offer help then to accept it


Oh that is a bit close for comfort ...




hugs back at ya Rach


That is me, especially the last one.

kel xxx


It`s also what phyciatrist call an "A" personality, we always when well would have been in charge of our live,people would come to us with thier problems(still do we are a captive audience)and we would have felt and still do duty bound to help.We cannot say no.

lovely blog Rach,no more nodding off in the car you worried me hun.

Hugs Butterfly54 xxxx

Reply more motorway driving for me on my own anyway!!!....Thanks for the concern though, very sweet!!!

Yes def type A personality.......apparently type A's are more prone to Fibromyalgia and break downs. Makes sense, however what perplexes me is why do not all Type A's have break downs and can carry on through life ok. Maybe it just hits them later on in life, they may die at an early age or have a heart attack?? Who knows I am no psychologist!!!!!xx


This is so very very true. But at long last I am learning to say No. My grand-daughter is getting married on 30th March. My pain is unbearable these days and I dont get up till late in the morning, about 11. Take ages getting dressed which is painful. Cant rush so have decided as much as I adore her there is no way I am going to exacerbate my pain, which would leave me in a foul mood all day and I know for a fact others would be intolerant with me. So for the first time in my life I have said No, I cant go. My husband will be going to give the speech. I wish them loads of happiness but for once in my life and the first time I must put myself first. I know they wont understand now,but they may do in the future.. Please tell me I'm not wrong in doing this. Feel as guilty as hell.


I had a similar experience a couple of years ago!!! My daughter wanted me to spend Christmas with them. I was in so much pain from the Fibromyalgia and just needed to do my own thing ( I have to lay down and try to sleep or relax at regular intervals) and I often crave solitude as I dont feel like making small talk or trying to explain to people how I am feeling when they so obviously think that I am making up this condition so to cut a very long story short. I had to refuse,also as my grandchildren are in their teens and I knew they would not mind if Gran was not there to see them open their gifts on Christmas morning, however my daughter took great offence, and accused me of not caring and being selfish this has resulted in a feud and we still have no contact with each other to this day.

Fibromyalgia is destructive in so many ways, it cruelly invades our bodies daily torturing us with constant pain then mocks us as individuals as we try to explain to non sufferers the symptoms that we are experiencing , (it does'nt take a genius to work out that they do not believe a single word of what we are saying) after all we cant put a plaster or bandage on our Pain. So sorry for harping on Gentle Hugs x



I was finally told some of these things (especially about the people who are the kindest being the ones who are often the first to get mistreated) at age 53 by a domestic abuse counselor. It felt so good to hear that and know that finally someone believed in me and saw into my heart.

Before this, people I saw for counseling would urge me to do more. I can't say how many times in couples counseling, I was asked how I could help my husband more or told I needed to 'meet him halfway'. I was already doing 90% in every area and getting abused for it.

People who are selfish and cruel and insensitive will find some of your little flaws and if they have their way, they will convince others that you are the nasty, hateful, selfish person, by using some small example. I have been astounded that others believe them, even if they have been abused themselves or are supposedly professionals who should be able to spot lies.

Now a lot of the stress of dealing with selfish or abusive people down the years has completely worn me to a frazzle. I'm not denying that I also worked too hard and too long when I could. (Yes, in many ways, I was a type A person, but also able to relax and enjoy often.) I am just a person who throws myself into whatever I'm doing in a wholehearted way.

Now, almost entirely bed bound and in a different country from my two grown children, who are not in a position to care for me, I am alone and so vulnerable. I don't know what will happen to me. I ask for help, and am blanked or I am just told outright NO that help is not available to me because of budget cuts or I'm not elderly enough or I don't have dementia, so don't need it as much as the next person.

It is hard to keep summoning up the courage to ask again and again and be treated like a pain in someone's backside. I often just tough it out.

After telling your adult kids that you dearly love them and hearing them say they love you very much too, why do they just ignore your simple requests for an occasional phone call or email (like oftener than 3x a year) and a card on your birthday and Xmas and Mother's Day? I always listen and praise their accomplishments. I encourage them and tell them how much I think of them, wish them well in whatever they choose to do.

It seems to me from talking with other women over the years, that children often learn to treat you the way they see you being treated, instead of the behaving in the way that you teach them to treat people, or the way that you treat them.

I finally have a good doctor who actually told me last week that she can see how much it takes out of me to go to her surgery so she will come to me from now on. She is on the job when it comes to making sure that things get done for me, instead of just ignoring my needs like my previous GP did. I am very grateful for this.

But, I am alone, with no carer, and only enough desperately fought for DLA money on top of my ESA to pay for delivered frozen meals and 2 1/2 hrs of cleaning and small tasks a week from a carer.

It seems that the strong get stronger and the weak get weaker in our Western societies. How can this change?


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