Dealing with others

[MJH43]

Hello people, Just wondering if anyone has any techiques/tactics for dealing with others when struggling with pain?

I find I'm completely shutting down and not wanting to interact with anyone. I feel crushed, whether this is the pain itself or embarrassment at not moving freely, and don't think this is sustainable for my family.

Any tips gratefully received, thanks

[Gigiruth]

Hi MJH43Sorry to hear your pain is isolating you.

Is might be number of things?

Pain can make us shut down as the body can do only so much. Other people can't see fibro or other pains and don't get it.

We can be in denial that we need to.live differently and not pace...more pain. We can get struck in a cycle of chronic health problems that affect our low mood so don't feel like mixing with others.

We can be concerned what others may see or think.

As a child I was ill a lot of the time and have because of this not had to "grieve" my day to day health. I measure how I am doing by my own scale and do not get hooked by what people may say or think. ( sometimes we just imagine this anyway)

My system is if I don't deliberately hurt another person I'm OK.

I can ask for and turn down help without feeling bad. I can be compassionate with myself.

I am very clear about what help I need from others. It would help me if you would... I do not apologise for my situation.

Talking therapies can help with seeing things differently.

There is an aspect of low mood in fibro,

Vit D deficiency can also give low mood.

Even if you cannot do the things you used to do,work,care etc you are valuable for being yourself.

I hope you find ways to help with pain,and other people.

Look after you

Fibro hug

Gigi

[Carlt]

To be honest, shutting down and not interacting with anyone works for me and also anyone around me who I might otherwise annoy.

I have the advantage of being an exiled Yorkshireman so grumpy and ignorant comes easily to me and is expected and accepted by my family of cheerful southerners.

[Smilesalot in reply to Carlt]

Lol😂😂😂😂😂 that's hilarious !! Thanks for making me laugh.I have a great friend who is a grumpy old Yorkshire man😉. He's great.

So I imagine ur just a live and let live guy who doesn't take kitten poop😆😉

Hugs Dawn 🤗🤗🤗🙃🤗🤗🤗

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Hello, I do tend too go quiet when I have days I’m struggling and I txt my best friend just too share , other people il txt or have a catch up when I’m having a good day as if people don’t walk in our shoes they cannot understand , sometimes I just don’t have the energy too go the extra mile too interact then home is my castle and I have the local radio on and early evening switch off too some TV too take my mind off my body. We do have times where we shut down and not so sociable I suppose it’s our way of dealing with our health , I think thats okay too have quiet time, I think good too chat here with people part of this very big unwanted club .

[KaliAka]

Hi thebfirstvthings is to manage your pain with medication, may need switching and light exercise to strengthen the muscles that ache. Let family know what you are going through, they will understand.

Small goals each day ....

I hope this is helpful

Mandie - Lufe coaching, Fibromyalgia weight loss [e-mail]