feeling like a burden

[Kimmie88]

lately I’ve been feel like I’m a burden on my husband he goes to work then comes home an takes over looking after the kids an myself as I feel exhausted and worn out as I have multiple health issues, not just fibromyalgia but I’m worried that it is becoming to much for him even tho I try to push through my pain to help make thing easier for him if anyone could give me any advice I would appreciate it.

[Smilesalot]

Hi sweetie🤗I've recently had the same problem with my friend Jon. He's also my carer and has a full time Job.

I could tell he was struggling terribly and was becoming resentful towards me.

I sat him down and outright asked what help hed like.

We're still in negotiations lol but I pay for a part time carer to bed bath me. I can't manage the shower meh.

So after some nagging we're discussing a cleaner for one day..a week.

We we're or are making more time for him to go cycling. Half way round he checks I haven't fallen🤗

My daughter is grown up and lives in Preston.

You recognise that hubby is struggling so ask him if he's like some him time and get a child sitter?

So you also can have you time. Or maybe joint time.

I don't know enough about your situation and who could help with the children ,sorry I'm not very helpful and I'm having a bad day.

If my head wakes up I may try again🤗🙏❤

Hugs sweetie Dawn 🤗🤗🤗🙃🤗🤗🤗🤗

There are better people than me who can advise you😊

[Kimmie88 in reply to Smilesalot]

Thank you for your advice my older daughter helps me sometimes she has just turned 19 an she understands my health issues so she helps a lot with my youngest daughter who has ADHD an autism so she helps with her as they have a great bond but I will try and get my husband to take time for him self I just hope he doesn’t think I’m pushing him away

I’m sorry you are having a bad day hope you feel better 🤗❤️

[Smilesalot in reply to Kimmie88]

Hi sweetie 🙂,With Jon I say thank you more. If he were a partner I would explain everything to them. Oh gosh it's difficult.

Jon is busy again lol. But he's in a good mood.

🤗🤗🤗 sweetie Dawn 🤗🤗🤗

[LaurieLee]

Hi, I am in the same position so totally understand. I make sure that he goes to walking football twice a week to help his mental and physical health.

When cooking, even if he’s doing it, try to batch cook, so there’s always extra, so there’s always something in freezer. Eg making a bolognese, can also be made into shepherds pie, etc. Buy frozen veg as opposed to fresh, so less chopping, buy frozen onions, garlic peppers, etc.

I try when possible, to do little things, like washing up, not always possible, but it’s about pacing. Better for you to, as it keeps you moving a bit, but not all at once. Rest and go back if able. Put a timer on for few minutes, as I can stand for too long otherwise. Cleaning the sink or counter tops when possible.

Get someone to help with cleaning even if every other week or monthly. Maybe your daughter could help, or get a clean in if you can afford it.

Does he have any male friends that he could go out with occasionally.

I know it’s not easy and I can get really tearful and overwhelmed at times, which really upsets him.

I try to do very slow stretches online on YouTube for fibromyalgia (yes I have other conditions to) which can really help over time, but build up very slowly, baby steps.

I hope some of this helps.

[Elaine200756]

Maybe talk to your husband? If he is finding it hard you could think about getting a cleaner, even if it's just for a few hours a week. It can be difficult and, like us, all men are different, but the main thing is communication about the issues that worry you with regards to your husband.All the best sweetness, let us know how you get on xx 🤗

[Maud-ie]

Hmm a hard one. I feel guilty every day at how useless I am. When I'm in pain I'm difficult to live with too. I push myself too hard just to try and appear 'normal' then quietly go to bed and cry!

[Smilesalot]

Hi sweetie. Been a couple of days and I'm hoping ur all ok 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗Dawn😍🤗🤗🤗😊

[Kimmie88]

today is by far the worst day been up all night crying in pain I’m just getting sick an tired off my life being pain I spoke to my husband an told him that he needs to take time for him self but he said when we got married he made a vow in sickness an in health an that he takes care of me because he wants to not because he has to

I also told about things that have been bugging me I told him that I hate the person I’ve become I’m not the wife or the mother I use to be an that some days I feel like I can’t fight the pain anymore that it just gets to be to much

[Yassytina FMA UK Volunteer]

Hello , it’s a lot too take on board each day with your health conditions, I am glad your oldest helps with the younger sibling, is there any family who can keep you company so he can have some free time?say too him you need this for your own mental well being and how much you appreciate what he does for the family, sometimes alittle note , or his favourite bar of chocolate left on the table , this is what I do for my hubbie , leave little treats out sometimes or little notes too say thankyou ,small gestures ,sending lots of hugs xx