Question

[Ellie1991]

dose anyone fine thenselves putting on a brave face around others and crumbeling when alone

[Debsdelight72]

All the time Ellie1991 and it's so very exhausting, It's harder to pretend your well when you're around others,

It really is, you have to find a way to say I'm not feeling well and I really cant do this anymore, You must take the time for yourself, To say 'No" I'm not well,

Leave out some leaflets around and say "This is me now"

[Albionrfx]

Hi Ellie1991, I share your experience. Everyday I live with chronic pain but because I put on a brave face, smiling, encouraging my friends all the time, they think I’m ok. I find it so hard to say no … and when I do, I feel bad about it.

Even saying no to my husband, I find that most difficult and yet he can see the effects when I crash. But because he is still very busy and active, I still feel guilty about him having to do more in the house etc…so I try to push myself and try to keep up with him, the house etc. But after, I hate crashing every two days for two days 😭!!!

We all know about pacing and listening to our body, practicing breathing techniques, mindfulness etc but I still find it hard to get the balance!

In a perfect world, may be 😭🤣

Take good care of yourself as I should too,

Warm wishes,

MLT

[Cotswolds25121]

Hi Ellie, I imagine most people do this so you’re not alone. It took me until about 5 years ago to finally say no to things I knew I couldn’t do and I’m nearly 63 so please learn from me if you can. Even with invites to things that are well meant but I know I am not going to be able to manage, nice friends still try to persuade me…. A lot, but I stick to my decision and say no first time they ask because I’d rather do that than keep cancelling at the last minute and letting them down. I find it’s much easier and better for my mental health with the anxiety it causes me knowing I’m going to have maybe a week or two of thinking how am I going to tell them now I’m not going. Ok, it may mean that people stop inviting me but that’s fine with me as I get social anxiety and so it means that I don’t have to deal with that as well. True friends as they say will still be your friends and if you lose some along the way then they aren’t really friends anyway. 🤗🤗

[Elle247]

Every single day and its exhausting. You find in life there are very few people that truly mean it when they say "how are you" so I have become a master of saying "yeah all good thanks" . I try to push through the really bad days, try so terribly hard to keep it together but oh my goodness its extremely difficult sometimes. December always takes its toll on me because there so much to do and I find it challenging to say the least. I end up so stressed and anxious and that's not fun or festive. Then of course its takes it toll on the body and you feel like a HUGE pile of 💩. I need a holiday to get over the festive period 🙃. Then its the start of a new year and I am always full of hope that I will find something that will help lessen the pain to make life a tiny bit more bearable. I often find life all too much which results in a meltdown (alot of tears follow) then I put myself back together and continue. I wish sooooo much I could find something that helped to make it all easier. 🤞 that 2024 is the year. I hope you find some relief and things get easier for you too, crumbling is not fun but sometimes I think its our bodies saying we need a release and so we crumble then rebuild. 💪😊. Take care x

[PAULINE15]

yes it seems the norm for us but this weekend has been very painful so I couldn’t hold back and hide the pain ☹️

[2pods]

"it takes a whole lot of medicine, before I can pretend to be somebody else"

"Guilty" by Randy Newman

[Missykay]

Yep all the time 😔

[Luckychica]

Yup, especially around a friend who is lovely but doesn’t understand any type of illness, (let alone one as invisible and unpredictable as ours).It's easier to pretend than to be honest but how does one even start to describe how we feel?

Then neighbours see you on days you can manage to go and take out the rubbish and they say, “ Oh, you do look well!”, and I want to say, “You didn’t see me the other six days of the week! “

But I don’t! I grin and let them carry on thinking that I’m completely well and am coping beautifully by myself.

Grrrr. Why do we do it to ourselves?

[flashyman]

Yes all the time. All those things everybody has said.

[Shearmans]

Hi all day every day lifes rubbish with this fibro