True court story

[stargazer61]

A man is up in court (limping) wearing 2 right shoes, a size 9 and a size 11that he's stolen from a shoe shop.

Judge: is the man employed?

defence: i think not your honour

judge: is he on benefits?

defence: are you on benefits?

accused: what?

defence: are you in receipt of benefits?

accused: what?

defence: are you on anything?

accused: that's none of your business

defence: the judge wishes to know if you are on anything

accused: i smoke a bit weed now and then

defence: i am talking about benefits! what benefits do you receive?

accused: well, it makes me happy...

defence (to judge): i think my client is on incapacity benefit your honour..

another to follow...