Depression

[Clarethomashall]

I'm depressed because of my pain all the time and it's making me eat as I'm a stress eater, and I'm now getting even more down because I'm putting on weight. I can't win, be fat and in pain or better thin and in pain what a choice. What a great life. Also keep getting bad flare ups and that's putting pressure on my marriage. Any advice x

[Sky-dancer]

Hi Clarethomashall Sorry this is putting a strain on your marriage, not sure what to suggest there accept to show your husband as much info about fibro so he can get an idea of how it's affecting you.. Maybe a gentle night together, out if you can manage or just in with a good film..

When my partner was alive, he liked to understand what was happening because it was easy for him to think we weren't doing much together due to something he had done. Also, he hated that he couldn't put me right like he was so used to doing with everything else in his life..

I can relate to the pain, depression and then eating.. I usually eat more when I can't get out, it's when I'm bored, trying to find something to do, when I exhaust ideas of things I CAN do, I eat..

I hope you soon feel a bit better and can find some support.. Take care..

[eclegmata]

Hi Clare. Yes it is hard. I've had 27 years of it. Please try to be good to yourself. Long damp months can also increase the need to comfort eat,& shopping for more than two people,who need different dietary requirements is even more difficult. I have arthritis in my knees,so I have to keep my weight under control. Have you tried getting some CBT talking therapy? Also getting an exercise program through your pain management Team as gentle exercise can help.

There doesn't seem to be much advice given about food,but when the weather does got a bit warmer,maybe try juicing. I found this really helped me drop 2 dress sizes.

Love & light 🌸

[Heliboy911]

I am also severley depressed and on medication but I am going the other way I do not want to eat and can only manage a sandwich in the evening not eating any thing through the day.

[Ramjets]

Hi CIare, know what it's like when you fall into the stress/depressed eating cycle and it can be hard to break. I found it was easier to resist temptation if I didn't buy treats and unhealthy snacks in the first place. I would buy more ready to eat fruit and veg with low fat dips that I could nibble on when the stress munchies hit. I also invested in a juicer/blender and started making smoothies and soups. Batch cooking soups especially helped me lose weight as I knew exactly what was going in there and I could freeze them so I had healthy ready meals available when I wanted something to eat. However this obviously doesn't tackle the root of our problem and I think Sky-dancer and eclegmata have offered some good advice. Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? When I was feeling very low, my GP arranged some CBT sessions for me and I found them helpful. I also had some physio with a therapist who understood fibro and was able to design an individual exercise plan for me which I have continued to do and it has improved my flexibility and pain management. Some form of Aquatic therapy/exercise may suit you as it is low impact and gentle on your muscles and joints and may also be something you and your husband could possibly do together? This condition can create a lot of pressure and cause friction with relationships. I know I often used to get bad-tempered when in pain and inevitably those closest would bear the brunt of it so you do have to make an effort to stop it coming between you. However it can prove difficult to speak calmly and honestly if the atmosphere is strained so it may be beneficial to use a third party such as Relate. I have therefore provided the link to their website below in case you ever feel the need to explore this option:

relate.org.uk/

In the meantime welcome to the forum, you will receive lots of help and support on here from our friendly members. However I would like to mention that you are likely to get more replies if you lock your post. You don't have to but many of our members are not too keen on responding to unlocked ones as the whole thread can be read by internet search engines. Instructions on how to lock your posts can be found on the link below but if you get stuck please don’t hesitate to ask for help.

healthunlocked.com/fibromya...

There is also plenty of useful information and links on our main site so you may like to check this out at some point:

fmauk.org/

Take care and I look forward to seeing you around. x

[Magi54]

Hi. Know exactly what you are going through I am so busy looking after my husband that I truly forget about my own illness fibromyalgia arthritis for the last 3, days I have been feeling unwell bit dizzy thought it might be my blood pressure dropping. I just called the doctor he’s going to call me back hopefully get a antibiotics for the urine infection. I was out yesterday having lunch with my stepdaughter she actually said to me that I need some counselling regarding her dad he’s very depressed because he can’t get out just now in the last 15, months he’s been out twice himself only to get his toenails done because he’s a diabetic he fell in 2015 ended up in hospital it was due to the doctor putting his medication up to quickly he had a Black out at the bus stop. Anyway he ended up in hospital they thought it was a tia we recently found out from a locum doctor it’s his blood vessel in his head brain that are shrinking. Other problems he now gets a nurse coming in once a week to check his blood pressure as it was very high last time this happened it was almost a year before they could get the right dosage of medication through the hospital for his blood pressure. He sometimes tells me that he understands my fibromyalgia arthritis pain but recently he’s been calling me a idiot because I didn’t hear this morning what medication he needed from the doctor surgery on repeat medaction he told me to look down and see what he is seeing. Well what I am seeing is my husband not doing anything to help himself because of fear of having two bad falls in the last few years. I told him not to talk to me like that. It sets me back and I am falling apart feeling very depressed just now I am not on anything for depression because I don’t want to go down that road. My husband has swollen feet legs copd sits on the couch 24/7 as he stopped sleeping in the bed because of the noise he hears from his copd. He was in hospital many years ago for hearing voices he thinks this is what he’s hearing not his chest and lungs with his copd. I have so much to say I am just typing this message as I’ve never felt so down depressed and low in my life I am his main career. We recently moved Home just under six months ago if it wasn’t for my daughter and her partner we I couldn’t have done it. I will definitely have to call the doctor after I feel better talk to him he’s the only doctor I have any faith in at the moment. I also have a hernia and bile duct problem which affects my eating one doctor telling me that he’s going to do the operation different doctor telling me he’s not because it’s to dangerous. I am at a loss don’t understand why my husband is shouting at me saying these things. Doctor just off the phone I do have a urine infection more antibiotics. Hopefully anyone reading this message understands that I am not well educated especially in my writing. Feeling desperate. Love and healing to all

[Magi54]

Also meant to say that my husband suffers from very bad depression. I am a person that tries to be positive all the time but right now I’m feeling unloved not appreciated I’m just there. I honestly think I need to get the help that I need for myself anymore people out there feeling like that