fibro friend

[gothicmum]

hi guys

im 56 and live in wolverhampton and i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year after a few years of being tested for everything under the sun. i feel that i have lost who i was.

[rosewine]

Welcome to the forum I don't live too far from you. I can commiserate totally with the loss of identity as in many cases fibro robs us of the ability to accomplish the things we did before. I think you have to go through a kind of mourning period for the old you. Gradually a new, probably stronger person will emerge. Limited in some ways but with more time to smell the 🌹. Before I was so busy working, shopping, gardening, housework that my days were packed and I was rushing here there and everywhere. Life at a slower pace can have its compensations but it does take time to appreciate that.

I'm glad you have a formal diagnosis as I sometimes think the not knowing what is wrong is worse than knowing. Look forward to your future posts.x

[YASMINTINA FMA UK Volunteer]

Evening and welcome , snap we are the same age. Yes it is really hard to except how having fibro changes our approach to the way we do things , personally I'm not sure if I'll ever accept 100% that I cannot run around like I used too but I've learnt if I push too hard the next day I will suffer so pacing in between our daily chores/work is so important . I think now I have to put tasks in boxes what needs to be really done and what's not so important can go into the next day where as before everyday I had a routine that's not possible now. So I live day to day now if that makes sense. I hope you find the forum a helpful place it really does help having fellow fibro s to chat and share things with xxx

[gothicmum in reply to YASMINTINA]

Thanks rose wine, like yourself I was used to running around looking after family, working, socialising with friends and keeping up with house work, but lately at work I find myself falling asleep over my computer at work, and when I get home I can sleep till morning. I've fell asleep on the bus, not a good look. I can see the funny side of things especially when I forgot where I put things or burn the dinner when I fall asleep, I guess if I can meet some of it with humour it helps 😊

[ninjananna in reply to gothicmum]

Good morning to you! I've been diagnosed for 6 years now and still cry for the person who left me😢 but most days are bearable and I now live quite a peaceful life! With regards to prioritising, I write a list of things I would like to do each week🤔 and cross each one off as I go! This way I'm not pressuring myself to get everything done in one hit! Pacing is a fantastic tool to use daily and remembering not to beat yourself up if chores don't get done! Much love coming your way!......Ninja💓💓💓

[gothicmum in reply to ninjananna]

morning thanks for the advice, I'll definitely try to pace myself, I've just started writing lists this week and have decided to take Saturdays as a rest day and do something for myself or just veg out doing nothing gentle hugs 🙏

[gothicmum in reply to YASMINTINA]

Thanks yasnintina I your idea about putting things in boxes and living day to day😊

[Mdaisy]

Welcome to the FMAUK Community gothicmum !

You've found a great site where members share their experiences of Fibro and other common conditions in the hope it will help others. We are able to listen and understand as we all know how challenging it is to live with to say the least, as well as frustrating and distressing at times. So sorry to read you feel like you have lost 'you' , is this something you could discuss with your GP if it is affecting your mood? You are welcome to post anytime and we will listen and answer as best we can You're not alone x

As a newbie I have noticed your post is unlocked, you may wish to lock it so it is kept between this community only. Members often are reluctant to reply to unlocked posts and therefore locking it will generate more replies too. Here's the link which explains how to do this;

healthunlocked.com/fibromya...

I look forward to chatting with you around the community

All the best

Emma

P.S Please check out the FMAUK website for a wealth of information about Fibromyalgia which should be of interest to you fmauk.org

[gothicmum in reply to Mdaisy]

thanks mdaisy I'll lock it off, I have recently spoke to my doc about feeling lost and was told that it's part of the grieving process, I have been referred for counselling, so hope that I get with coping with this.

[Mdaisy in reply to gothicmum]

Sorry I didn't know you were recently bereaved, condolences to you and your family. If you need to talk about your grief you can contact Cruse Bereavement Care which may help, link below

cruse.org.uk/

Or is this who you are waiting to have an appointment with?

I sincerely hope it helps

Emma

[gothicmum in reply to Mdaisy]

morning mdaisy, sorry I think you misunderstood but that's probably due to me not being used to expressing how I feel, it's who I was I'm grieving for, I've fought against the symptoms and tried to push myself as hard as I always have, with the result I've had several flares and recently slept for 12hrs. Doc said counselling would help me come to terms with this and show me ways to cope. Gentle hugs 🙏

[achydunlin]

Hi, I understand where you're coming from. I've had this for about 4 years now - still undiagnosed formally though. I miss the person I was - the person who ran three times a week and worked full-time. It's rubbish isn't it?

[gothicmum in reply to achydunlin]

morning sorry you've been suffering for so long without being diagnosed, yes its rubbish and people who don't suffer from chronic pain and crippling fatigue don't get it. I'm still working at present but spend more time off and when I am at work I find myself falling asleep. Keep trying to get diagnosed 🙏

[achydunlin in reply to gothicmum]

Yes I had to give up study and a full-time job I loved. I'm now on a zero hours contract job paying much less money - although at least I can reduce my hours when I need to. If I could afford to, I wouldn't work and some weeks I just can't. It's rubbish. I feel for anyone who have to work full-time for financial reasons with this condition, it's bloody hard.