Are you single/married/partner?

I just wondered how many people on here are married or in long term relationships? And if you're single and wish to meet someone you worry about how they will react when you tell them that you have fibromyalgia? I think that most men wouldn't be interested, as I spend a couple of days of the week in bed.....not a full 48 hours but a lot of hours. I have additional illnesses to fibro as well. I'm really interested to read what you all think...ladies and gents

26 Replies

  • Yea I know what you mean I think two people with Fibro would be good as then they help each other and make a life together And I'm fed up with self massage So Lin if your good at massage I'm your man 😎

  • I personally wouldn't want to burden anyone with my ailments but you never know when cuspids arrows will fall😊

  • Yea you never know but we are not face book I think us men are about 70 to 30 to you on the forum :-0

  • Hi, I know lots of people on here have supportive partners and lots live alone. I'm sort of in the middle. I have a partner but we don't live together, we tried it but it was too much for me, I really need time to myself, to be quiet, rest and just be alone. I think this is because of the fatigue and pain. he stays a couple of nights a week and that works ok. We are supportive to each other ( he has health issues too) and I'm lucky as he does the garden and other things I can't do. We are all different I suppose. Take care, furry X

  • Tricky one. I'm single.

    I'd like to think I would be a support. However when push comes to shove us men are on the selfish side. When both partners have issues then one would hope there's a degree of mutual support, and with planning most things should work.

    Erny my big issue is shoulder blades. I cant do that for myself - so it doesn't happen.

  • Yea it difficult to get to those areas' Unless some one does it Iv never paid for a massage so far Look at my new post you will see the creams I use

  • Imorning, im married but didn't have all my health issues when we got married, the last 3 years I've got worse, my hubby can be supportive at times but mostly he doesn't understand and expects me to do everything as normal and doesn't get the fatigue at all, I do often think I should be on my own without being judged, it's so difficult that maybe if both people had some form of illness there would be better understanding and support xx

  • I am so lucky that my hubby of 40 years is so supportive and understands when I say "I'm so sorry, I just can't"....I do think he has more of an understanding because of this forum as I talk to him about it and he asks what's happening with you all....Obviously he finds the whole thing very frustrating and b..... annoying! he also has some health problems so at times I am the carer!! Have as good a day as possible..... Have you tried printing off Fibro information from our mother site so he can see the problems you have and maybe understand more of what it is like to have this awful condition....Gentle hugs xx

  • I'm like Trikki , married 44 years and we've been through so many ups and downs over the years that we now understand each other's needs, I try not to talk much about illness as it makes me feel down I prefer to sort of ignore it LOL. but I know he's there if. need him, if I say I don't feel well he always says why don't I stay in bed which is good me time , and he'll see to everything as we're both retired there's no problem, and he cooks a few times a week which is great, I'm lucky I suppose, but then he's lucky too as I've always been there for him when he had his health/work problems over the years , I suppose that's what a marriage/partnership is all about, give and take .

  • Hi...I've been with Steve since we were 17 in 1993! We got married in 2002 and we are now 41!

    We are a fab team and we are best friends. Sometimes though I feel he doesn't quite 'get' how sore I actually am....he's fitting fit and does a very physical job so the concept of awful pain is alien to him. He does listen, makes dinner, sorts our son out in the mornings for school, picks up painkillers for me and we have a laugh - very important!

    I'd hate to be without him.


  • It's great to hear that most of you seem to have such great marriages or relationships. I must be honest I'm 53 and at an age where people start to get illnesses and such...Diabetes..heart trouble etc. I would be there for my partner if he were ill....and I think it's a case of give and take....but I would defo be more tired than my partner, and the whole pain thing is difficult to explain. It's the fatigue that gets to me the most with this illness. Gentle hugs to all. xx

  • I totally understand

  • I agree the fatigue is what gets me but fight on we have too 😎

  • I am single. Id like a relationship i think, but itd have to pretty low key as i am an introvert aswell as having fibro. Im 33. Xx

  • I totally understand about it needing to be low key

  • I was with my partner for about 20 years. He had a problem with alcohol. I did my best for him. When I got ill he acted as if I did it on purpose to upset his life! Needless to say I left him ten years ago. Now we are apart he seems to be much more understanding !! Life is odd. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone in my life again, but mostly I think it would be hard work... and I just do not have the energy.

  • My partner and I use the term loosely has a problem with alcohol...he does however, seem to be able to empathise with my illness...and realises I'm tired and in pain, but his drinking increases stress and that he doesn't realise or doesn't want to realise. I think any new partner would have to understand your/our energy levels and accept that we need extra sleep...and do have a chronic illness, and perhaps if they can't understand we're better off without them

  • It is amazing how many people with fibro are caring and tend to attract those with substance issues, I realise this is not always the case but it is prevalent. Personally I believe the stress of trying to live with substance abuse can be the root cause of our condition. I noticed this when I used to attend a fibro group, leaving an abusive relationship is paramount to our healing process.

  • I have some sympathy with the thought that people who are already down in some way (not necessarily depressed) are more caring because they don't want to see someone else in their situation. I also believe in keeping away from toxic people. You can only help so much. They can drag you down even if they don't mean to.

  • I have been married for nearly 30 years and neither of us were ill when we got married. Since them my wife has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

  • I'm single and 43 and I've been ill since first breath. I was born with rare birth disease and then as years go on I've had other things pop up. I would like to be with someone but don't know who would want to be with someone who is sick and also can't have children. Hoping even at my age to still find one of the good guys I've always heard are out there somewhere;)

  • Don't see it as they're doing you a favour. They would love you for you. It seems good guys are hard to get..but they are out there

  • I'm a single guy im 56 this year creak/groan ive always more or less been on my own as was in care all my life so have a different outlook to others as many say you should settle down get married then same ones are either playing away or trying to work at keeping it all together!!!

    Alcohol! always seems to be a big factor in many issues never touch it myself as when had makes me ill so steer well clear of along with smoking!

    I prefer good friends someone you can talk to and have a cup of tea with and help each other.

    I have friends that totally respect me as say i give a straight honest answer that they can go with.

  • Crikey I'm 54 so more groans and squeaks. It's just something that I'd I keep for my next ( if there is) relationship to be my last, but friends are important too...hence I looking Into coffee mornings, groups etc. I wasn't specially thinking about marriage as I'm quite against it for me personally. It's good you can give someone a straight answer...with me I worry about hurting someone's feelings....Though I can be straight. I hope I can add you as a friend. I rarely drink...and gave up baccy cigs for e cigs which my GP told me he was pleased about

  • Hello Lins345,

    I'm a single 52 year old male. I've been single now almost 4 years now.

    I would love to be in a relationship, however since Fibro took over my life any relationship I have been in has not lasted.

    Over the last couple of years it doesn't even get past the conversation part.

    Sadly a 52 year old, long haired man with Fibro isn't appealing, I've even been told (more than once) that I should not even be considering a relationship, that I have nothing to offer any woman. Mainly once Fibro is mentioned .... Suddenly I don't even get a respo.nse to messages/texts etc.

    Hope today finds you a little better than yesterday.

    Blessings Be


  • I think that's a little sad Drew. A lot of ppl get illnesses in their 50s...heart, Diabetes etc. And they have relationships. I think if you meet the right person it could improve your illness as you'll be happier. Maybe you're telling them too quickly rather than letting them get to know the real you. Take care

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