I donate to 2 charities every month (I am not looking for recognition or praise) as I am sure a lot of you do. I received an e-mail flyer several months go from one of these charities who shall remain nameless, asking for donors to put on a pancake night in support of that charity.
I did not participate for reasons that will become clearer later. I received a call yesterday afternoon 29/03/16 from the charity in question wanting to now why I had not participated in that event
I was really annoyed at them for contacting me over this but I reluctantly explained that my mobility was very restricted after suffering a stroke plus other illnesses and also my home is very small and restricted in size as result of having to move into a far smaller place as a result of my illness also I could not carry out this function with my health problems even if my home was bigger.
Having had time to thing about this call I at first felt very guilty over not having participated and then angry that they had made contact with me to question me over this as surely the choice should be mine if I participate in these events or not.
I just wondered if you thought it was right that they had contacted me to ask why I had not contributed to the event.
Have a good and safe day.
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Heliboy911
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Firstly, even though you're not asking for it, I am going to say well done for having the decency to donate to charities despite your own issues (or is it perhaps partly because of?).
In answer to your actual question though, a simple flat NO. Totally unacceptable to chase and harass people in this way, using emotional blackmail to make them feel guilty because they don't do more.
Personally I would stop giving anything to the charity at all and send them a letter telling them why. Or alternatively there has been a lot of press about charities harassing people recently. Didn't they charities commission produce some sort of complaints form or something that you could fill in.
I know it's difficult because probably you give to this particular charity because it is close to your heart in some way. But that is simply not acceptable. As you say the decision is and always should be yours and not induced with emotional blackmail.
Hi Margaret thanks for your reply I only give as I was taught to be considerate to those less well off than yourself I was taken aback by the phone call and felt like a naughty child being chastised by the head teacher.
I shall put it down to experience and continue with my contributions.
I agree. That's much the same for me. Only I don't contribute to any charity with a DD, I just give in direct donations or in other ways and avoid the ones that harass. I hadn't thought of it but Annunaki is probably right, they probably do contract out that part of the admin. I've never been a fan of contracting anything out as it almost always leads to a poorer service being offered.
Firstly I have to say I think it's was disgusting that they called you wanting to know why you hadn't participated in the pancake event & no you definitely should not have had to put you through the stress pain and discomfort, which would have lasted long after the event.
I used to give to2 well known Charities, money I couldn't really afford living alone & in benefits, but I wanted to do my small part it made me feel good. But soon the letters emails & calls started saying can you up your payment to give us more help etc. After every letter email & call I got upset stressed & usually had a flare up . I find this kind of bullying tactics to be obscene & nasty. There was an article on some to programme a few months ago about Charities that were adopting these tactics & they had been reported to the Charities Cimmission & then warned to stop these kind of tactics, especially the phone calls. It seems your Charity has ignored that demand. In the end I couldn't take the stress any more & cancelledmy direct debits to both Charities blocked emails & calls where I could. Now I give to reputable street collectors when I can. I hope you are having as pain free day as possible gentle hugs Karen
No, it's probably not even the charity per say, but a firm they employ to raise funds who get PAID for doing so. I had one of those in an animal charity try to guilt trip me in paying regularly, which I can't afford. I explained that I had to pay a carer, I'm on benefit. That there's weeks when I have no money left at all. She sympathised, then carried on and asked for £20 per month! She then keep reducing down to £3 when I said no.
She kept emphasising how much suffering the animals go through. How she's sure I wanted to help stop it. It was some 30 mins of pressure. I checked her facts, she even LIED according to the charity clearly stayed statistics. I suspect they are on commission.
I asked her to remove my number from her database. I now never give charity that way. I rather save it an put it in a donation box. This way it's a volunteer who collects and gives it to the organisation itself, and not to a bully, fat cat!
I'm sorry you were bullied too.
Take care of yourself. We don't need this in our difficult lives. I am sorry to say that they'll probably call again at the next fund raising event. Sorry sweetie. Hope you resolve it to your satisfaction and needs. 💗
Like Ksmiles above, I used to give to a charity on a monthly DD basis but kept getting phone calls and letters asking me to up my payment. It started at £2 a month and then they wanted £5 a month etc... I already give to a few other charities (I don't ask for recognition either). On one particular phone call when they asked, I said 'no', that I was on a reduced income and was a widow but understood why they were asking as my hubby had died of cancer (it was a very well known cancer charity) the caller then said "Well you should understand more than any other people why it's so important" I was so incensed I stopped my donation there and then. I've felt guilty since but I hated the bullying tactics, it felt like a hard sell. I now give to a local hospice and a local animal charity. There's only so much you can do and in the end, it's your money, your income and it's up to you where it goes. Take care all x
The thing that struck me from your post is that you gave the charity concerned a reason why you had not participated.
I completely understand why you did. I am not critiscing you in any way shape or form. I am truly shocked that the "charity" should act in this way, demanding an explanation from you. I feel angry on your behalf that you were put in this position.
As has been said there has been a lot of media coverage recently regarding charities resorting to blackmailing tactics.
I agree with everyone that has commented so far.
Something I just wanted to add is to be very aware of the small print at the bottom of any more brochures or literature you receive. Some ask you to tick a box to opt IN to more communication from other charities etc. Others ask you to tick a box to opt OUT.
They make it very confusing on purpose.
On principle I would withdraw from that charity and ensure that my details were deleted from their database, and give to your nominated charity in a different way.
One tactic is to just keeping saying no, and not giving a reason why. These people don't care what your situation is, their aim is just to get money out of you.
Another thing to do is just to say, "I am sorry, but I am not continuing with this conversation" and hanging up. It may sound unkind, but it's not. You are just protecting yourself.
To answer your question, no, I do not think they should have contacted you, but as I said above, you have probably ticked a box somewhere along the line giving them permission to contact you, completely unaware of what you've done.
Don't be bullied into giving money you can't afford, and don't let them make you feel bad.
You are obviously a very charitable person. You need to show yourself the same kindness.
I had a very well known charity phone me to increase my donation. I told them that if they wanted me to give them more they had to choose which other charity I should stop as I couldn't continue to give them all and increase theirs. They told me to stop all other charities with the exception of theirs and increase theirs by that same amount. I had to think about it for all of 2 seconds and very politely told them I had made the decision to no longer contribute to theirs and increase by that amount the other charities. My sole reason being the others were grateful for my donation and never hounded me.
If I were to give to every charity the amounts they wanted I would be the one needing help
Hi Lu thanks for the reply I think with hindsight I should not have explained to them why but it was the call and the tone that took me by surprise and I found myself in a position of guilt and thought at the time the only way out of it was to say why I could not help them I have learnt a very valuable lesson
Please don't think that I was criticsing you in any way. I sincerely apologise if you thought that was what I was saying.
I probably would have done the same thing, if it had been me. I was just disgusted, on your behalf, that you were treated this way and the Charity had the sheer cheek to question you.
Hi Lu not at all did I think for one minute that you were criticising but if you were then I deserved it as I am often told that I am far too good to everyone to the point of being taken advantage of I should have been more rude in my reply to her than just answering her questions as if it was me that had done something wrong.
I had the same problem, not with making pancakes but they wanted me to put my payments up, i tried to explain my circumstances but still the phone calls came, i ended up saying if they called again i would cancel it completely as the calls were upsetting me and causing me a lot of stress neddlsess to say 2 calls later i cancelled it completely. Like you i felt guilty at first but not now, i hope you will soon feel the same x Rosie
Sadly they will not be alone. They don't think twice about phoning you to bully you into paying more either. They seem to set out to make you feel so guilty that you give in. That is bullying!
My dad is 90. He gets letters and phone calls from charities he has given to in the past all too frequently. When they press him he gets very upset as he has many health problems, and he just can't take being hounded like that. The poor man has panic attacks when you ask him to make a decision.
I understand that charities are suffering and not getting the donations they once received. But the hard sell they now use is unacceptable in my opinion. Sadly the few that use these tactics are spoiling it for other charities. I now refuse to talk to them. 🐸
I know you aren't after praise but Welll Done You, and No you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to hold the event. They shouldn't have called you in the first place and put you into an embarrassing situation like that!
Don't feel bad about not being able to do this. They should be Thanking you for giving money to them in the first place! If they had done that to me then they certainly wouldn't be getting anything more from via a direct debit.
What a B****y cheek! I certainly wouldn't be feeling guilty, no doubt they would have been told in no uncertain terms what they could do with their pancakes!
You shouldn't have been bullied into disclosing firstly your health and secondly your income and third the fact that you have had to downsize due to your disabilities!!!
Please, please get this worry out of your mind and should you choose to continue to give to this charity do it via a collection box. You have done nothing wrong, please don't stress yourself out any more over this, deep breath, count to five and banish it from your mind my friend...
I agree with everything everyone has already said. please don't feel guilty. I too had something similar where I donated via DD monthly to an animal charity, started at £5 a month then over a few years it crept up to £12 when they rung a month later asking for £15 I said no and cancelled my DD as surely what I was giving was plenty.
another recent thing is we are expericing is door to door charity collections wanting my bank details to give via DD monthly. I politely explained that I do not give my details to anyone knocking, they proceeded to show me ID etc but I still said no thanks. then the usual line of "well your neighbours have all signed up, shame you are the only person in the terrace not to. surely you can afford 30p a day" by then I am getting annoyed inside and start to slowly close my door with a stern look on my face. I really don't like being pushed like that x
I think this is appalling. None of my charities idonate to have ever done this. I think if they called like this my answer would not be so charitable! If they wanted to know at least they could do it by letter or maybe anonymous email. It must cost them money to do these calls too which is a waste. Hope it hasn't ruined your day.
Hi, It is NEVER ok for any Charity to question you about why you haven't donated time or money to it's cause. If it were me, I would cancel my donation and let the Charity know why, and tell them that you wish your name to be removed from their contacts list as you wish no further contact with them.
In these tough times it is very commendable that you donate to charities, and they should be thankful for your generosity.
Take care, and try to put this unfortunate incident out of your mind.
Hi Janet thanks for the info I shall put it down to the lady at the end of the phone having a bad day I shall keep on giving as it is in my nature but if I get another call like that I will defo stop.
I worked for a charity for years both as an unpaid volunteer and as a paid worker. I also worked for this charity and was in the unique position for a year of having my salary paid by the charity wing of a well known supermarket as they were so impressed on what we were trying to achieve on what was then a tiny bodget.I know how desperate they are for money but I honestly cannot think of any excuse to behave in that manner.
Before I left my charity had joined with a bigger one and everything started to go pear shaped and I felt money was being used for the wrong things. I had made myself unpopular as I said that I did not like the tactics the Head Office was using to coerce people into giving money I felt they probably could not afford. I also was askance at how much money was being spent on staff and administrating of the "Donations" departments. The charity I worked for has now come to light as one of the worst charities for advising people to buy a product that they could have got much cheaper elsewhere. My friend who was a volunteer for them for years said she would have never given her time freely if she had known the tactics that were being used and other volunteers I know have resigned over this.
My OH and I give a proportion of our money each year and spend alot of time deciding which charities we would like to try and help. Any charity who harasses us in any way other than the legitimate ones we have agreed to are written to and told in no uncertain terms why we will not be giving to them again. If more people did this I think they would all have to change their tactics. The problem is that they have outsourced alot of the fundraising to private companies who of course depend for their livelihood on getting as much in for the charity they are working on behalf of as they can cream more money from them. They could not care less what hard arm tactics they use. They rely on making you feel guilty to get more out of you and think you will just buckle under to get them off the phone.
I now only give to charities who use every penny they can to the cause they are trying to help and if I feel that not enough money is going the right way I don't give any longer. I tend mostly to give to smaller local charities where I know what the money will be used for and that the majority of the money given will go to the good cause rather than on administration.
I think you were going for your sainthood when you kept your cool with them good job they didn't get my OH on the end of the phone. I always wondered why my elderly mother never seemed to have any money even though I gave her what I could to help her out. When she died and I went through her paperwork she was giving to over 30 charities and had charity letters everywhere. Being a kind hearted person she must have been sending money to ever charity who asked her. She was only giving a small amount to each but of course for someone on a very limited income this was a great chunk out of her disposable income. I realised that each letter thanked her for the donation and then was suggesting she started a direct debit or increase her contribution.
I would personally write to the charity concerned and explain why you will no longer be having anything to do with them and will be giving no further donations. You have nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about.
The Charity Commission are having to take notice after so much bad publicity and a new charity fundraising regulator is being set up to decide on rules and regulations. I do hope they are stringent and it cuts out this kind of nonsense.x
Hi Rosewine good for you on your past works with charities especially the volunteer part. It was the phone call and the tone that got to me I had to stop and think for a while after I had spoken to the lady who called.
Hi heliboy , I have d/d set up with 2 charities since my first daughter was born ( she is 33 now !!) But last year I had a very pushy phone call from another charity who would not listen to my explanations of why I could not afford another monthly payment and eventually I agreed to a twice yearly donation. Due to not getting out to often I went to my bank a few months later and found they were taking a monthly payment. I was very annoyed but still felt that it was probably going to someone who needed it more than I did so left it as I was awarded pip payments. It also pleases me to give hard won government money to causes which they are not doing enough or anything to support !!
Hi Shazzzy thanks for the reply I like you give by DD but after the recent episode I will rethink if I want to continue with the one that telephoned me to ask why I had not participated in their pancake night If I do stop with them I will choose another that is worthy of my money.
I completely agree with all of your other respondents as it is unacceptable for a charity to behave in this way! I also want to say well done for giving money in the first place and I would seriously consider cancelling any further donations to them. Please take care.
It is totally unacceptable for a charity to badger someone like that but I do have sympathy for the charities. The larger charities are so well known that the smaller ones tend to lose out when people decide who to give to.
I have several direct debits but if I'm phoned to increase the amount I simply tell the person that I can't afford more and I am not going to discuss it further. These calls are not going to stop me donating to that charity as I chose them because I support their aims. It I do tell them if I get a nuisance call and its rarely repeated.
As more and more people ( and animals) in our failing society have need of charity rather than getting government support them charities are going to try harder to get a bit of the pot as it were. 40 years ago there were few homeless people for instance and medical conditions tended not to have less expensive treatments or research.
If we can afford a small amount to give to a chosen charity that's great but otherwise just a decisive ' no' should be enough. There is no need to explain or justify that no.
Hi Dee agree with you 100% I was always taught to be mind full of those less well of than you hence the reason why It was the phone call and the tone that shook me but hey I will put it down to experience.
What an appalling thing to happen to you. It is categorically Not Their Business to make you feel bad about not taking part in a Voluntary fundraising event. Please complain to the Charity Head Office about the person who called you.
Unfortunately, Charity workers often get short sighted about their own Charity, forgetting that people have lives and may not be in full health. This should also be reported to The Charity Commission, as there have been cases recently about donors being harrassed so much they have committed suicide; or died in penury after trying to keep up with their Charity's demands.
Personally, I would cut all ties with this Charity immediately. I no longer donate to any charity which employs highly paid executives, chuggers or paid telephone salespersons. I will donate in the street, with whatever small change I have, but I will no longer donate by Direct Debit, having cancelled one DD, and had the Charity concerned manage to reset it. I was spitting mad at that one!
Hi Midori I am not one for making waves I will seriously review my monthly contribution to them and will change to a charity that is more deserving than the one who rang.
I didn't used to make waves either, but nowadays we must stand up against aggressive marketing and injustice, or be trampled into the mud. It is bad enough that our 'Masters' do it, we do not have to accept it from charities.
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