Can we ban Christmas.

[bluejeans16]

I know it sounds mean but quite a few people agree with me christmas is a real fuss over nothing (appologies to any of you who are religious). I find it so stressful, all the awkward people to buy for. Another great reason to ban christmas is that for the last 3 yrs I have been ill. The year before last I had a cold, last year I had the vertigo bug which led to me suffering from ME and this year I have the flu. I am supposed to be visiting the family tomorrow but will try my best to persuade everyone to let me stay at home on my own. Sorry to winge!!! hope all of you have a good christmas!!

[Ian123]

Short answer is no we can't - As with many people I am not a deeply religious person which saves me worshipping at Mammons alter of the commercial Christmas. A time for making peace, goodwill and joy in the world should not be cancelled, this time will be what we make it even if that is trying to find some quiet spot as a hideaway. Will we be banning summer next, lights too bright, all the summer fun we cannot take part in - looking at things logically that will be a no. Enjoy what you can while you can

[VonnyM]

Christmas is only stressful if you let it. I only buy for my family. I dont make a fuss, i got all my pressies online that did away with stress, i only got the basics for food, bought what i needed before the stupid rush and crush t the supermarket. . Didnt buy booze i noticed thatd where the biggest crush was.. im going to my son for Christmas dinner. There Re ways around christmas without stressing.

[Starbys]

Hi,

Really sorry to hear ur stressed out and that u have the flu too, that is rotten especially at Christmas.

If ur feeling too Ill to visit family then it would be reasonable to stay at home. But if u don't want to go to visit family because ur feeling stressed and down, and if u would end up staying at home on your own feeling miserable then it would be good to try to go out and see family even if u can only stay for a short time.

As it won't help to stay at home feeling low and miserable and fed up, and u don't deserve to feel like that. It would help to be around other people if u can.

Maybe u could explain to ur family that ur not feeling well and you'd still like to come and see them but can only stay for a shorter time cos of feeling ill?

Also I think it's easy to get bogged down in the present thing, but that's really not what it's about and not worth worrying about.

I'd they like the gift, then great, but if they don't then no one needs to feel bad - not them or you. The main thing is you're spending time together, and you tried.

If anyone's funny with you about a gift then just let it go over your head, as they're not worth bothering about if they're like that. Just ignore them if that's the case and concentrate on chatting to other people.

I think everyone has a few family tensions over Christnas, but that's just the way it is with families.

Just try to ignore the few niggles like that if there are any and just enjoy spending time with people.

If you are too ill with the flu and ME to go out though, then u don't need to feel bad about that either!

You can only do what your body can manage and that's not your fault, you can't help being ill.

If you're really too ill to go - aside from feeling down,low and fed up - then you can't help that.

Even if family are not very understanding about ME (which I know can be one of the horrible things about ME, people not understanding) they should at least understand about the flu.

I do understand occasions can be hard when ur ill.

But I hope you do manage to have a nice day, whatever you end up doing.

Please don't worry about the presents, it's really not worth it!

I also hope that you recover from the flu ASAP and that it hasn't hit your ME too hard.

If you need ME support I have recently set up a forum here on health unlocked called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis Community.

It can be found at:

Healthunlocked.com/meandcfssupport

It's very new so we're building it up as time goes on! You're welcome to join/follow if you're interested/need ME support from others who understand.

Take care and Happy Christmas,

Starbys

[bluejeans16 in reply to Starbys]

hi starbys. I wish could just pop round to my relatives for a short time but is a 2 hour round trip!. I will visit your forum. it will probably be of more use to me than this one.

[panda60 in reply to bluejeans16]

That's a shame because most people on here are very kind and supportive. Christmas can be very difficult for a lot of people for all sorts of reasons. I find the pressure of it can get out of hand and the shopping mania is crazy. It's not my favourite time of the year but unfortunately it comes round with regular monotony. You just have to make the best of it and it will soon be over. Hope your flu gets better soon.

[Starbys in reply to panda60]

Hi panda60,

Yes I totally agree the people on Fibroaction forum are very kind and supportive!

I only mentioned the other forum because bluejeans16 mentioned he/she has ME and so I thought he/she may find it useful for that reason as it's an ME forum.

There's no reason why people can't be part of more than one forum either, that's one of the nice things about healthunlocked!

Hope you're ok and that you have a nice Christmas.

Take care,

Starbys

[panda60 in reply to Starbys]

Well done for starting another forum! I belong to another group as well. That"s why HU is so good.

Have a good day tomorrow. xx

[Starbys in reply to panda60]

Thanks panda60! Yea, I agree that's what I think is so good about HU too! I wanted there to be a dedicated national ME forum on HU cos people with ME often have other medical conditions too so wanted to open up the option of HU for people with ME. Esp as the exhaustion means going to different forums on different websites for different conditions you have is too much often when u have ME esp if moderately or severely affected. But the more medical conditions you have the more unwell ur likely to be and therefore the more likely u need support. So HU is great for that reason - follow as many conditions as are relevant to you all In one place!

Hope you're having a lovely day without much pain xx

[Starbys in reply to bluejeans16]

Hi bluejeans16,

As it's a 2 hour round trip, then I guess you will just have to listen to your body about what you can and can't manage, whilst balancing up the positive side of spending quality time with family which should keep your spirits up. Are they close family?

If so, would there be somewhere in the house they'd let you go and lie down at times in the day when u needed to if not feeling well?

And do u have someone else to drive u there or would you have to drive?

I suppose if you can look at things like that that would make it easier to manage, if those options are open to you, and then decide if you think you can manage it, making sure to remember the positive side of going too.

You know your body best so you're the best person to decide.

I know the commercial side of Christmas is over the top, but I see the main thing as being able to spend time with family all together which you don't get much chance of if at all at other times of year esp if living in separate areas of country! I'm very glad of Christmas for that, and for a bright spot in the winter, etc.

hope you manage to enjoy tomorrow and that you will be feeling a bit better.

You would be very welcome on the ME forum! if u go to the link I gave you and click to follow then you'll be in!

It very much doesn't have to be instead of Fibroaction though, as the nice thing about healthunlocked is that you can follow as many forums as you want of different conditions all in one place!

Fibroaction does have a nice atmosphere with good people on it.

If you still want to follow the ME Community too then that's great, and look forward to seeing you!

Hope you get well soon and manage to enjoy at least some of Christmas time.

Take care,

Starbys

[Hidden]

hello Bluejeans16.i half agree with you.not really into Christmas but only buy for close(as in living nearby)family as they still celebrate Christmas even tho my nieces are all in their 20's. and my immediate neighbours-have 3 children and two of my friends granddaughters.i think you i have to have young children around to make a Christmas.as for shopping I do most of mine online and even got my food shop delivered on Saturday.less stressful than coping with crowds in the shops.ive seen people spend £100's on food an drink all for the two days.

[hugosmum]

so sorry to hear your not well and of the Christmas saga over recent years. sounds just like my family n me. for the past 4 years one or other of my lot have been down with colds bugs or flu. often its my daughter though its just before that she gets it as this year. trouble is. i can no longer stand to cook a big dinner now so i buy the food she cooks it.the family (her,her bloke, me, my son n granddaughter eat it, with a young couple (now with baby) coming for tea and 2 cats n dog (my daughters) n my own dog to add to the mix. all get their share of the dinner. this year my daughter went down with a bug last weds evening. this is a fast starting and pretty virulent one cos usually im the one ok in spite of low immunity, asthma,COPD, diabetes plus others. but by Friday i too went down with it. one minute had just a tickly throat next out like a light all night n most of next day.then developed onto chest n into a cold. still got it now on Xmas eve. so touch n go whether ill make it. not taking my dog for first time as hes got loose teeth (waiting to go in to have them out) so wont be in a good mood n wont be able to eat his Xmas dinner (i have to finger feed him at mo cos its his front teeth to come out) and with an 8 month old toddler about... not a good combo anyway.so all up in the air. daughter struggling to get stuff done with a kitchen incompetent boyfriend willingly helping.son was fine. but now getting the cough.granddaughter was in A&E till 4am this morning with some stomach pains. so again touch n go as to whether they can go too. but we are all trying to get there.admitted part of me says don't be daft/. other part says yes go. be good to be among others. daughter gone to lot of trouble under difficult circumstances.so decisions decisions. shes ready for giving up so cant let her down.so am off for a shower now.wont have time in morning n see what Santa brings.i know how your feeling and fibro is so different to what Ive got but my son has it so i do know what it can make you feel like.happy Christmas love xx

[bluejeans16 in reply to hugosmum]

Sounds as though you have a lot to contend with. Makes my problems seem so insignificant.

[Angelseven]

Well, that is a bit of a downer after all the nice Christmas messages!!

I don't like how commercial it has become, how crazy people are in the build up with trolleys filled to the brim in supermarkets as if they are going to be closed for days instead of the one day break. I do get tired but I don't let it stress me out - it is not worth it.

There are people who are seriously ill at Christmas time and I am sure that they won't want to give up what will be a distraction from their suffering especially children who are ill who will get so much out of a special day. I am truly sorry that you are again suffering but perhaps it is time for your family to support you and give you a break?

Christmas is not just about one person it is about family for me and despite any pain and fatigue I feel, it will be worth it to spend time with the people I love most.

What ever you decide to do, I hope that you recover quickly from the flu and enjoy the break, if not the celebrations.

[bluejeans16 in reply to Angelseven]

Thanks and to be perfectly honest I am looking to the peace and quiet. I live with my parent and they are always at home as they run a bed and breakfast. If I am not working and am at home I feel like screaming as I never get a moments peace. I was hoping to have got my own place by now but it hasn't happened.

[rosewine]

Sorry to hear that you are ill and that the last two Christmas's have also been spoilt. Hope tomorrow you are feeling a little better and that the New Year will bring you better health and more happiness than you are feeling at the moment. Soft hugs flying your way and I will think kind thought for you tomorrow.xxx

[bluejeans16 in reply to rosewine]

Thanks.

[TheAuthor]

Hi bluejeans16

I am so sorry to read that you are struggling and suffering and I genuinely hope that you start to feel more like your usual self again soon.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

[bluejeans16 in reply to TheAuthor]

Thanks Ken!

[bluejeans16]

I have decided to give it a miss this year. I always go and see them at new year anyway.

[Betty67]

Know where you are coming from and no we have to try.

My family are a lot further away than 2 hours but last year I sent them away as i did not want them to have to spend Christmas with a miserable person as me. They (my sons) both spend Christmas with families who take the trouble to celebrate.

This year they are a day away, younger one is working in a soup kitchen tonight after having lunch in luxury. Elder one is having 12 course dinner all with fish (which he hates).

do what you can

[Scouser58]

Greetings to one and all, yes crimble is a big decision maker for everybody. I had my flu jab in September and now struggling with the cold, the damp and the need to cook. After spending from 11am on the go yesterday starting with the doctors, and onwards I was totally knackered last night, then I remembered the meat was still in the freezer!!!, into the sink they went with cold water.

This morning I was totally out of it, and still very tired, and the dinner to cook!.

Nobody should be made to feel that they have to travel miles and for long periods of time, that is selfish and uncaring. Anybody who has family with long term medical conditions, that at a moments notice can change plans, nobody should be given any stress to conform to the plans of others.

Presents are always a stresser, so if old enough vouchers or good old fashioned cash in a card and envelope. If there are smaller children, then the adults/parents should get what the giver wants to give and the money sent in payment.

As for the food shopping, yes I agree people do over show for this season, and then the over eating or major waste is on the horizon, and waste of money goes without saying.

The whole religious part of Christmas is now down to each person,. and then in smaller amounts, the almighty cash is now thought more of, then the true meaning of the time.

I remember so well when I was much younger, the streets were deserted, shops were closed, and did not open again until the days between Christmas and new year. The staff in the shops now have only the one day, to have the 'holiday' and then open the work place for the spend, spend madness to start again,

No longer new year sales, now it is boxing day sales. In these days of money shortages and the major hurdles to be over come, the money still comes.

When anyone's health is a major part of their life then decisions need to be made, and respected by all parties. My feet and knees are still giving me grief, and my feet are swollen, and there is a sink full of dishes still waiting to be done, my carer has gone to bed.

being ill with medical conditions is a major stresser on anybodies quality of life, and nobody should be made to feel they have to conform, and their need for peace, rest and calmness, and if the depression hits then understanding is needed.

So for now, ttfn

[teddybear7]

It does seem to have turned in to a lot of fuss for one day. But miracles don't easily happen so we need to make the best out of it we can. I work all Christmas without it I wouldn't be able to pay the bills it's thanks to the madness of it all. It helps me get through the rest of the year. So when you cancel it could you find me a new income please. Xxx

[bluejeans16]

Hi teddybear7. As banning christmas will never actually happen your income is quite safe. A friend of mine works in Mcdonalds, she did have christmas eve and christmas day off but back to work tonight for an 8 hr shift 10pm till 6am she was telling me..

[hugosmum]

Hi Blue Jeans, just thought i would add to my comment above and tell you what ACTUALLY DID happen yesterday..Xmas day. starting the night before actually when i decided to open the pressies i and my dog had been given by friends and his dog walkers and a close relative. one was no added sugar marshmallows. i am diabetic and a friend sent me 4 bags of these as a treat. i ate a small handful while opening the rest. over the previous weeks my breathing hadn't been very good but had put it down to the weather. my relative (wont say who tho i doubt she will read this) had left my pressy a few weeks before. always the first to drop one off for me. On opening it i nearly died. my breathing went haywire my head nearly exploded (sounds like i am exaggerating but believe me i am not. it was a wheat bag. lavender one. and i am badly allergic to lavender. really thought i was going to land up in hospital. i quickly smothered the item in carriers and black bags n left it in kitchen while i dealt with sprays etc. waited for it to settle then went to bed. next morning had taxi booked to pick son,granddaughter up first then to pick me n my dog up. starting at 12.40pm. but... i felt awful on waking. nauseous, (probably the sweets on a gyppy tummy) not with it. ill. coughing like mad.(thanks to the lavender on top of the bug). took me over 90 minutes to gradually get my 13 tablets down me. having to wait between each one type till tummy settled again.rang son to tell him to go straight to his sisters i would go if/when i was able to. gradually i was able to get dressed.found my new skirt (same size as all my others) was massive on me. hadn't tried it on with being so ill. (got weighed this morning .have lost 9lbs, though i cant say in how long. with fluid on my legs i tend not to bother. but know was 12.11 last time a few months ago.(so one good thing came out of the illness i suppose).. i did what i could with it. maxi so turned waistband down n put on elastane camisole which held it in place under a thin blouse.did the trick. didn't lose it anyway.lol. gradually feeling better i got ready but decided not to take my dog. bless. first time in the 5 years Ive had him that hes not been with me on Xmas day, first time in my life when Ive had a dog, that they haven't been part of Xmas day. but couldn't be helped. got there. presents opened. dinner was superb, didn't pile my plate up admitted, but i ate all i had on it. missed the bread sauce and bacon rolls (usually my contribution to the cooking) n stuffing was missed(daughter forgot to do it. we have all done similar i am sure on Xmas day.) but we didn't care. my daughter and her partner had done pretty well to say how ill she had been. tea wasn't the spread she usually puts on either. but as she said,there's usually so much waste anyway. no one really wants much by then. plus the couple with the baby didn't stay as expected. baby being part of the reason i didn't take my dog too. BUT we must have enjoyed it. could not believe it when i looked at my watch and it was 10 to 8pm.taxi home was due at 8pm. finished my evening off watching Downton Abbey./ Am still not right. cough, cold. though not as bad but what spurred me on was when my son told me to try cos i would be missed and it wouldn't be same without me. (i always thought i was an old nuisance you know.lol.my traditions are not my daughters and i find it irksome at times ill admit. )anyway his remark made my day. so it can pay to make the effort. even if you only get one blessing out of it. i got a few i can tell you. boxing day on my own.. my time for peace and quiet apart from the tinkling of a bell on my dogs Xmas bandana and occasional bursts of energy when he plays with one or other of his new toys. happy Christmas everyone.