Thinking of leaving

Thinking of leaving

Not sure who to address this to really but although I have had great support from this site and met some wonderful people, I'm really struggling to ignore some posts that leave me quite upset, and because of my condition I tend to go over and over something in my head until it drives me crazy. If there was a way of blocking users like of Facebook so you never saw their posts I'd probably be ok, but there isn't. Everyone, you know who you are, is amazing, but I really struggle with members who say they have an illness when they haven't and take advantage of people's trust and empathy and genuine decency, just I suppose to get attention. It may be that this behaviour in itself is an illness, but it conflicts too much with my own mental health, my past issues of trust, and my sense of injustice. I can't deal with it, there isn't a way of stopping it, and it's not fair of me to inflict my unhappiness about it on anyone else. So on that note, I think I have to leave, which is a shame because this is my only source of support too. Sorry all xxxx

29 Replies

  • Alex please dont just leave if you have a problem please pm me or if not me some one else who you know you can trust and talk to us, you know that there are people on this site who do care So please think again ..hugs sue

  • Gentle hugs. Please don't leave us. I know how hard it is to fight when we have mental health issues as well but you know we care about you.



  • Hello Limbalmaddict,

    Sorry to hear you feel this way, in any community you will find many different people all sharing all different experiences.

    I would like to suggest that for the moment maybe taking some time out might help, maybe popping on occasionally until you feel ready to come back or not as the case may be.

    Lots of members post and then take time out then return a while later. Why not try this first before jumping into a decision to leave.

    I hope this helps and I'd like to say we obviously don't want you to leave but I'll support you in the decision you decide to make

    Best Wishes

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • You the old saying don't cut of your nose to spite your face. Well please don't leave because you are hurting.if this is your only support please please stay, do not give weak people who are ignorant of illness the pleasure of seeing you hurt.

    Its ha!rd with any illness but harder when you are alone.

    One positive about people on this site is they care and there more carers than negative people. Some people are defensive and rude because they have no understanding, so ignore them and stay with people who care, you will never be alone , gentle hugs x x

  • Hi Lipbalmaddict

    I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? I am so sorry to read that you are thinking of leaving the community, as you are a cared for and truly valued member of our forum. I agree with Mdaisy, try having a break and just come back on every so often to have a look through certain posts.

    Whatever you decide to do, I want you to know that your input and posts are truly valued and respected by all on the site.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Please think again before leaving us you have been a really good member both sympathetic, caring and such a genuine person.

    Do you think Mdaisy's idea of taking some time off and having a change a change is as good as a rest. Do take your time we will still be here for you.

    Hoping to chat again soon take care


  • Hi gins, I don't think a break will make a difference. As I say there is a particular member whos behaviour I find hard to deal with, and that won't disappear if I have a break. Blocking would be great, but I find myself reading and raging at times because of the insensitivity. It's my problem, I'm obviously not cut out to be part of a 'community' x

  • just remember the times it has been helpful and even soothing to be able to chat with us. You are right that sometimes we have to read and not be too involved.

    Remember a community has to be made up of many parts and each part is important but for different reasons.


  • Hi there, there's no point me saying don't take any. notice of this person it's easier said than done, , but as said that's life I'm afraid, other than shutting ourselves away which we don't want you to do there's not a lot that can be done, please try and ignore it and think of all the good things this forum has done for you and vice versa, you would be missed, take care Jess

  • Hi alex

    It would be shame for you to leave when you had just found some people that you could relate to and talk to and am sad to hear that someone has upset you.

    Sometimes when things feel like they're getting too much I like to take a step away for a little while and do something else to help keep my brain exercised and also to see other people. It would be lovely if you chose to take some time out rather than leave completely but understand and support you if you feel that you need to :)

    Sending a huge bouquet of healing and relaxing fuffies to you Alex

    Take care my friend

    :) xxxsianxxx :)

  • Please lovely friends don't worry that you have upset me, the person who has will have no doubt. You've all been great, but I'm clearly not cut out for normal human interactions or this wouldn't upset me so much, it explains why I'm alone! Much love xx

  • I am so sad you feel this way and I too have found some postings upsetting. And when you are feeling unwell and unsupported it is difficult to ignore them. I wish I could wave a magic wand to make you feel better. Whatever you decide to do I wish you all the very best. xxx

  • Lipbalmaddict that is such a shame and should never be allowed. If people can't say something supportive then they should keep quiet. I'm glad most people have only made good helpful comments. Please try to just read those and try to ignore unhelpful ones. I do know how you feel because there was one that one sarcastic to me when they didn't know all the facts over the very annoying intrusive horrible black magic etc adverts trying to con us to get money out of us vulnerable people. So I feel the same as you but why should you leave because of them. We need this site and most of us do support you xxxx

  • Hey...I can relate to how you are feeling but it really really does feel better when you just turn the other cheek and boy does it pee them off too!.

    I wouldn't lose out because of an ignorant fool...I'd carry on regardless..acting as if they were can sit back and laugh at them if you want to..knowing they are the lovers in the end.

    Stay where you are getting support...make a new account with a new name if need be and just tell those you feel you can trust but don't let the fools take.away your pleasure x x

  • Rise above it .... Even those who are insensitive towards your needs should really take on board that how your feeling is quite simply how they feel ...

    Since having multiple health conditions myself! I can relate to many individuals suffering and empathise ... However lots of individuals don't have this trait and can seem unsympathetic and come across insensitive but personally a few off comments would not make me want to leave my only life support so to speak! Rise above and shine in the knowlegde that your a person who has understanding of someone's suffering!!!!!

  • Hi sweetie, I'm so sorry you've had negative experiences here. I can never understand why weak people feel they have to inflict hurt on others. I know this is easier said than done but can you steal yourself to just not read anything that has the offender's username on it? If you feel they are targeting you with malicious messages please please report them to the moderators. They are here to keep us safe and can remove the user from the site if they're being disruptive and unpleasant. It would be such a shame to lose the love and support of the good guys because of one scumbag. The suggestion of a change of ID is a good one if it keeps you here. Sending you love and strength my darling xx

  • Hello All,

    I think differences of opinions do happen within any community and I feel I must play devils advocate and say we must remember that this doesn't make wither person right or wrong. We all have a right to freedom of speech and to have our own opinion.

    Let's face it these situations happen as we cannot all possibly feel the same connection to everyone as we do to some. We must try to be polite to all members regardless of this, as politeness costs nothing as they say.

    Also remembering the guidelines below helps;

    Your participation on HealthUnlocked should be with respect, honesty, and in the spirit of supporting and learning from your fellow users.

    As mentioned if it's more than a clash of personalities or difference of opinion then this is a different matter and should be reported. If you've received any abusive or offensive messages please let me know by private messaging me about this.

    Best Wishes

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • I haven't suggested otherwise Emma, it's my problem if I can't deal with someone else's behaviour which is why I will be the one to leave. However, what you say about respect and honesty is important, and misleading people about illnesses that you haven't been diagnosed with, to get sympathy and trust from genuinely poorly people who may be going through hell, isn't behaviour that prescribes to that philosophy. Thanks

  • Hello Lipbalmaddict,

    I think the best way to come to a resolution to this subject is in private as I feel this is the most appropriate way to address this subject.

    Please can you private message me so we can talk things through

    Many Thanks

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • Actually that's a good idea about changing your identity. I did that on another site for a specific reason. I also deleted any personal information and felt reassured by that and safer posting. But if anyone is upsetting you that much please report them. I did that on an OU student website once and it was quickly sorted out. I think people consider it safe to say things online that they would never dare say to your face. You just have to look at the paper each day!

    Take care xxxx

  • Hello lipbalmaddict

    I echo everyone's reply. Please stay as it helps us to get through the difficult times.

    I have been a member now for around 3 yrs, finding myself chatting more in the last few days than ever before. I used come along and read posts that was relavent to me, or ones that I thought would make me smile.

    I think when we are feeling low/down we can't let go of things said (myself prime xample was going to move from my home because of some EVIL woman, but decided to stay after talking it through with ppl who care). So please take the advice of the admin and pm them.

    If all else fails sorry to see you go but DON'T LET THE B*****D's GRIND YOU DOWN.

    Sending gentle hugs and loving thought's to you stay safe xxx


  • Hello Denise,

    It's great to hear you've been participating more lately and finding it beneficial. Sounds like you must have been here since the very beginning ! :)

    Thank You for the positive feedback

    Emma :)

    FibroAction Administrator

  • Don't leave. I think this site is a life saver. If it wasn't for this site, I would have been totally on my own. Although I don't comment on every story, I know that every comment is a comfort to the person who is hurting. As they say, have a think and then make your decision. Whatever your decision is, bless you. X

  • Sorry about you leaving, we have good days & bad days & you don't seem to be having a very good one at the moment, I'll be thinking of you, so sending you soft hugs. xx Philo.

  • Hi Lipbalmaddict, (sorry I didn't respond yesterday i wasn't online at all - I hope you're still with us!).

    I'm sorry you feel the need to leave the group and that you are feeling so upset by some of the comments, especially as you say that you do get so much support from the group. It would be a shame to let some negative / insincere comments stop you from receiving the support which you (& all of us) need.

    If it is one person causing you offence or directing negative comments to you personally, then I would agree with PMing one of the administrators to resolve the issue. However if it is more general, could you try not to read the posts from this people?

    I do hope that you decide not to leave and that you continue to receive (& give) the support shared by the majority on this site.

    Gentle hugs xxx

  • Hi Lipbalmaddict,

    I am so sorry that you are thinking of leaving this wonderful Site. You are a tremendous help to other members. Also you helped me immensely when I "posted" a good few weeks ago!

    You kindly replied to me and supported me with your kindness and empathy.

    It would be such a shame to loose a valued Member such as you!

    As you said it is a great support for you also. Could"nt you re-consider leaving, perhaps have a break for a while?

    I know when I post/reply, I write about my other ailments but can honestly say they are all genially true (I wish they wer"nt!).

    I hope things between us are ok?

    I can"t imagine someone putting illnesses down that they do not suffer with, that is just cruel! Could you just ignore the ones that upset you?

    I hate the fact that someone/something has made you so unhappy, you feel the need to leave!

    You have helped me via answers to "posts" I for one will be very sorry if you leave!

    Whatever you choose to do I sincerely wish you all the very best wishes. Take care.

    Sending you positive healing energies. BB X

  • Hi there! You don't say if they are personal attacks; you have got advice if they are.

    My advice is stay. You don't know how many people you help, they don't always comment just like me. I found this site by accident when I was desperate and reading comments I found peace; just to know I wasn't alone. If you leave how many people will hurt for the loss? Your experience and empathy will be a loss to everyone. Search for the hero inside yourself!

  • Hi lipbalmattic please dont leave becos of smone ignorant and stupid its not worth it its like form of bullying ther just jealous and attention seekers yr loved by all on this siti love and hugs boohoo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Lipbalmaddict,

    I find that although this is a great forum for advice, sometimes, especially on a bad day too much information and reading how people are suffering along with us all can be just a bit too much. On days when I feel like that I take a break or just read the light hearted posts.

    Most of the people on here seem to be nice and genuine.

    I was on another forum a while back where someone was claiming to have a lot of different conditions. A lot of people started to challenge this person on incorrect facts and it looked like things were going to turn nasty. I tried to just not read what that person was posting but their posts began to take over. People started to leave and then eventually I left too. It was quite a while back and not a fibro forum as I hadn't been diagnosed or as ill with fibro back then. But I missed the 'friendships' I had made and the forum lost a lot of good people.

    Maybe try as Mdaisy says and take a break for a while, or as I did and try hard to ignore whomever/whatever it is that is upsetting you and their posts.

    I only joined here a little while ago, but find it very helpful, some days I take advice, some days I feel well enough to give some and then again sometimes I just read and don't reply or ask questions, but I know I can pop on if I want or need to.

    I hope you stay x

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