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Fibromyalgia Action UK
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At the end of my tether

My husband is semi retired and turning into Victor Meldrew. Out neighbour's 17yr old son and his mates have been banging their football against the fence on and off in the evenings till latish and coming over the fence to get the ball. Hubby has had a go at him about that but not said anything to his parents. He sleeps in the front so is more bothered by the noise but in tru VM style won't try earplugs.

Unknown to me he fired off an email at 11pm last night to said neighbours and it has not got down well with them. I do see his point of view but he should have gone and spoken to them; we have lived next door for 13 yrs and always been on good terms. Worse is that my neighbour thinks email was from me too. I am a total wreck at the moment and this is the final straw. Don't have the energy to deal with it but can't afford to fall out with my neighbours.

9 Replies

Snap my husband is just the same. I've not seen him smile for years. He moans about everything. He is retired but I still work. I can't retire because I think I would drive me mad to be at home with him all the time. We ought to form a club


I can't offer anything useful apart from some (((((((gentle hugs)))))))


Hi Panda i think I'd be telling not asking my OH to apologise and then to explain politely what the problem is to my neighbour if he did that ;)

I'm not suggesting that's what you should do but maybe a chat to him about how its upsetting you would be good :)

I hope you get a happy outcome, comforting fluffie cuddles for you

:) xxxzebxxx :)


Gentle hugs. Maybe a quiet word with your neighbours might calm the waters a bit ?I think that you could add a bit of humour by telling your neighbours hubby is Victor meldrew these days. And when things have calmed down a bit you might chat to hubby telling him how it made you feel.




OMG, i'm married to Victor bloody Meldrew too! He moans about tv, he moans about weather, he moans about just about everything but I've got to the stage where it just goes over my head.

I would go and speak to the neighbours, what's the worst that could happen, they don't speak to you again. I doubt that though as you have always been on good terms, just explain to them that you married one man then suddenly Victor Meldrew took he's place when he retired. I know how hard things can be when they constantly moan though, Big hugs

Jo xx


I can see we should form a Victor Melldru club, it must be an age thing it is so scary, so boring, so infuriating, so unbelievable that they are all doing the same things. I can hear us all screaming from the highest mountain or do we just want to jump or push...........


It's unbelievable, my hubby is the same. He retired from the police at 55, said he couldn't wait. He now spends most of the day watching tv. He says he's not depressed, but wants to do nothing for a change. He is moody and isn't very good when anyone visits. He used to be such a gentle soul. I am retired too so I get out as much as possible, I am sure I would would leave if I didn't. Other than that he is quite good at running me around, I don't drive so it's appreciated. I think a lot of men are like this. If you have got a good one hold on to him lol


I think they have too much time on their hands and so they notice the things that are wrong and leap at the chance to say something. But.......being men they go at it like a bull in a china shop. However, a ball constantly thumping against a fence is awful. It's like Chinese water torture and it really, really winds you up especially if you can't get to sleep because of it. So I think you should invite your neighbours round and over a glass of wine and a mince pie chat about the situation. Maybe agree a time for the fence bashing to stop.


Oh gosh, reading this and all the responses I'm sooooooo glad I'm long-term separated :) xx


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